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[Persus13]

Spoiler: Compliments (click to show/hide)

Persus's GMing is hilarious.

Persus13 played an excellent scumgame in one of the role-heavy games I had sort of been following.

Spoiler: The Perseus Curse (click to show/hide)

And it's Beirus. IR, not RI.))

It's too late, Birues. You've been cursed, just like Persus13 and GiglameshDespair.

Spoiler: Favorite Quote Pyramids (click to show/hide)

Help Im stuck on top of this quote pyramid and I can't get out!


Wait.
Wwolin is the current ruler of the Infinite Featureless Plain of Death...
When I get a chance, ask Wwolin for a better position.
Make a deal, Wwolin, Sir.

HEad Death is in charge. wwolin jus claimed an infinite featureless plain.

It's not the same plain?

No, its just wwolin just was like, I'm claiming this and he hasn't backed it up at all.

...Then why does his status say that he's the RULER of the plane?

It doesn't. It says he is the ruler of Hell.

NOW it does.

Slip plans for teleportation devices to a major corporation. They create an exact duplicate of the person at the other end, but trap the mind of the person in between dimensions. This is a fate worse than death. Then, um...what are Fates supposed to do?

Looks like someone discovered my inspiration for this most recent change.

Wait, it wasn't obvious? I knew you were referencing Irregular Webcomic once I noticed the infinite featureless plane of death. I just never had a chance to link to it until now.

Well now I need to think of a new afterlife thing.

Why?

For the next cataclysmic event. also I don't want to reference Irregular Webcomic for 3000 posts. Maybe the Gilgamesh afterlife?

Or send us to a metaphysical train station.

Nope. We shall all be entombed within the great quote pyramid of Giza.

good one. I like that.

It sounds like a nice afterlife, but can we stop the pyramid?

Nah.

Stop choking and reason with cthulhu to let you become cthulhu
Make wwolin a sandwich.

Yes,we can stop the pyramid,I just did

NO YOU DIDN'T.

That wasn't there in my last post! Sure, it's in this one, but....um...Why did I put the pyramid in this post?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!CONTINUE TALKING ABOUT THE GREAT DEMON!
IT MAKES HIM STRONGER!

No, seriously, we should stop the pyramid.

SHOULD WE?


Fine fine...last one from me,I promise.
Somebody else can go and quote that if they want.

ok

What is this? Holy carp.

Where is the signature topic?

It probably can't fit this without a spoiler.

I like to be egyptian......

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

Yes
You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

ALSO BAD MISKO FOR ASSUMING THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. BAD.

IRONY

PYRAMIDAL IRONY

Spoiler: Funny (click to show/hide)

Playing fast and loose with physics, social dynamics, hydrodynamics, and plate tectonics.  Aw yeah.

You narrate this setting better than I thought was possible. More RTDs need to take place in the atmosphere of gas giants.

You could say the setting is very... atmospheric.

NOOOO! I like breathing...

((We are the most inept zombies ever))

Since when are zombies not inept?

I am satin! Fear my unholy power!

((Oh no, the dark lord of fabric is upon us!!))

Didn't really get anywhere on MSPA when I went there.

Then again I was a sentient black hole at the time...

Wwolin: While the Bloodknife's pretty cool, don't I have a +1 to luck?

Fixed. All hail the necrofridge.

Of course Toaster got a fridge.

If flailing persists after day one, you may wish to call a doctor begin anew your scum hunt upon the flailer.

"I hear in their lands, cow manure is considered a great gift."

Spoiler: Me (click to show/hide)

GUYS, QUIT MURDERING THE UNIVERSE!!!

... Punch Perseus for turning me into a girl.

Good thing I am not Perseus. I'd hate to be that guy.

I call being eldritch abomination.

What did you think I was going to have you be? God of kittens?

[Mego]

Could you please put that pyramid in a spoiler tag? It's kind of hard on the eyes.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

[Corai]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

[Xantalos]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

[misko27]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

[Xantalos]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

ALSO BAD MISKO FOR ASSUMING THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. BAD.

[Furtuka]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

ALSO BAD MISKO FOR ASSUMING THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. BAD.

IRONY

[Aklyon]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

ALSO BAD MISKO FOR ASSUMING THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. BAD.

IRONY

PYRAMIDAL IRONY

[Persus13]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

ALSO BAD MISKO FOR ASSUMING THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. BAD.

IRONY

PYRAMIDAL IRONY

Yes

[SquatchHammer]

I'm embarrassed to have been about half the quoters in that pyramid...at least I was a major anti-pyramid advocate later.

You will go to Forhell. for your sins against forumanity.

Nah, he's getting buried in a quote pyramid.

Hey, don't I deserve a pyramid after my part in the Great Pyramid of You Always Roll 5?

BAD XANTALOS. BAD.

ALSO BAD MISKO FOR ASSUMING THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. BAD.

IRONY

PYRAMIDAL IRONY

Yes

For the higher the pyramid the closer we'll get to Toady. I hope.

[misko27]

Yes, where he'll sacrifice you with his ban-hammer.

[Mego]

Yes, where he'll sacrifice you with his ban-hammer.

Blood for the Blood God and all.

[Omeganaut]

When your primary food source is disabled dwarves, livers are much more important than brains.

My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore. 

wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths.

The question is: how do you profaine a temple dedicated to pure greed? 0.o

Burn a copy of Atlas Shrugged.

dammit arthur stop messing around with that BB gun, put on those goddamn magical panties, pull a lightning bolt outta your ass and help me kill this guy

((Hehe... i predict more butt jokes in the future))

We're trying to con a shopkeeper into giving us infinite gold via repeated self mutilation that turns bodily fluids into weapons so we have the capability to inflict more self mutilation.

Capitalism!

...You're arguing with the GM?

Why don't you argue with Jesus about how much Peter liked clams?

Because each player's delicious tears are fuel for the continued torture that is the Warrens of Oric the Awesome.

And then toaster admits he wants my stick.

Listen man, You're cool and all but...well I'd have to ask the missus, ya know?

...uh, you realize that you just created an infinite recursion loop in this thread, right?

Sigged.

Ritualised murder is also best reserved for the second date.

I had an English teacher ask the class what they would do to save Romeo and Juliet and I said to hire Romeo a prostitute. Apparently backing that kind of assertion up with logical evidence makes things worse too.

Bah, computers aren't real instruments .

Everything is an instrument if you hit it the right way.

The Shaft of Enlightenment?
Is this thread some kind of dick joke?

We're giving the world itself a huge wooden strap-on and forcing dwarves to defend themselves against its overwhelmingly powerful thrusts.
I'm sure that at this level of magnitude, whatever we're doing to the test subjects goes beyond the realm of dick jokes and becomes a dildo-assisted atrocity.

Dear Urist McWrestler,

Why were you french kissing mutant poisonous boa constrictors.  NEVER FRENCH KISS MUTANT POISONOUS BOA CONSTRICTORS!  Really, that is underlined twice on the first page of the dwarven military manual...

Dear Werebeast's wife,
I didn't realize you were in the squad that was sent retrieve your husband's corpse. I apologize for your emotional shock. I will say he died in one of the most dignified ways a dwarf can die: repeatedly impaled by multiple iron spikes, screaming in agony as his legs are shattered multiply times, eventually taking seperate spikes to the heart and lungs before choking to death on his own blood, alone and seperated from his loved ones.

Sincerely
Overseer

to the dwarves of Machinespires XLVIII:

I'd like to thank you antisocial little bastards for staying in your rooms like you're supposed to. Thanks to you there have been two residential deaths in the eighty-two years you lot have been building a hive on the side of this volcano, and frankly that cave-in was my fault for not designating dig tiles more carefully. Thanks also to Urist McHauler19 for starting a fistfight when you tantrumed and punting the undead Giant Sperm Whale into the volcano, your hissy fit broke a nine-year stalemate that my adamantine-equipped swordsdorf squad was helpless to break.

Yours,
Your grateful, impressed, and mildly disturbed Overseer

I was seriously concerned when a dwarf and his wife both mentioned pleasure from dining hall tables. Guys, I'm making bedrooms as fast as I can, okay? And migrant housing might be public, but at least it's not got children present. You eat off those tables, honestly...

I...I don't see how this counts as SCIENCE. Where does the improbable magma murder fit in?

Be a Teacher.  Continue on from where we left off

...
the GM reads the thread
the GM does not feel comfortable
the GM sympathizes with WORLDMASTER
the GM has assumed the FETAL POSITION
the GM says that he will post a FULL UPDATE soon
HE isn't touching that with a ELEVEN-FOOT POLE, though

Spoiler: Drunk Fortress quotes (click to show/hide)

yeeaaaahhhh
dwarves respect teir anscestors right?
god reaosn to have 'em right int he dining room

alrerd hitchcunk never forwesaw wrestlkii;n crwoz.

Everything is fire and tantrums. I have an empty bottle of everclear, absinthe, and Blue Curacao. I have no idea what happened. FPS is like 3. let's just start a new fortress. I have no idea what happened, and can only surmise the lava cannon backfired horribly. I can upload the save if someone wants to look at it, but christ its a mess. I hope it dosen't become a tradition that fortresses blow up when I take control.

On a related note, it really is !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! now.

16th Moonstone
.Moonstone? The heck?
-The wagon is fighting? Tha fuck? We don't jave a wagopn anymore.

Just checked the fort again after sobering up. What the heck were they doing with those crundles? Crundles biting babies, Misko punching crundles, crundles vomiting in extreme pain...

Okay, read this inm a french accent. It makes more sense. I thimlk.

OK I have no real idea what the hell happened, what time it is, whart planet Im on, or anything lwe.
Other than that I need to go to bed, abdlt.
I think I may it agout 1.9 months in game. esoerry for the poor shower. may hage drank a bit mufh, perhas.
Half a botlr in <2h? Not the greatest plan. Kids, don;t driny this at homr. At work. At schol, or anywhere else.
Ejver.
At a;;.

Yeah, the fortress is flooding. I probably should have mentioned that.
Ghost babies are haunting everyone, which is to be expected given the quantity of dead baby. It's like some sort of Nursery Of The Damned, and it's driving everyone insane. Tantrums are frequent.  The dwarves are murdering the crundles, the batpeople, and the other dwarves whenever the fancy strikes them.
The frequent conflict has really helped out everyone's wrestling skill, though 

Yeah, but it's been a while since I've spoken french. The only reason I need to nowadays is with my mother, who doesn't speak english. I try to stay away from slang, but bécosse is a bit obtuse.

Also Platt/Kölsch version of the Lord's Prayer . I speak German, but not that dialect at all. Don't even live near Cologne, so I have no idea where that came from.

Republic is a clerver way to say check.
See first people turned it into czech, cause that's hilarious?
I decided to futher improve it, as the vezch republic is just that, a republic.\
So I'm taking to it genuine british slang and calling it republic.
OPAQUE, FLAT OUT OPAQUE.

20:55 - Got caught up with reading gay manga, whoops.  But I am on drink #4 now, will probably shoot a few after I finish it and then start.

A GHOSTLY HUNTE BATTERS ME. ENOUGH IS ENOGH, I'M GONNA FUCK ALL THE SPIRIT WORLD UP. FUCK THE GOHSTS, LIVIING FTW. GHOSTS YOU BLEW YOURS CHANCES. GET READY FOR THE PREACEHRS TO COME!!!

03:43 < Vyznev> 00000000 ytah i'm ryin' fer a scpottidh accent wit' me drunkenness... soryt--.-
03:57 < Bobnova> not sure the french was any more difficult to read, and I don't speak french
04:11 < Vyznev> " I knpw wat Iämm doinä Om jisy van 't fogute ot ow tupe it"

fucke m..  the real dwarves lived.  wussies died, and children.  dolwin died too tho, su dunno about that,  liek 20 screenshots, cant make sundse right nw.  will do tomorrow.

Fuuuuu... Taking a swig, wtf is this shit???. Seriously. who was beore me??
Whayt the fukc an I supposed to o moq>> damnit.. I need more alcohols./.
halp[! what did dolphin do?? Fucit.. Is gonna get this shoz unter control..,
oopswrog windown... took half an hour tro fid my coorect window... kept getting docoter who..

It is with pride that I let you guys know that this fort is one of the hells I send people to to amuse me.
Good job.

I have a reputation for holding my liquor that I plan on proving wrong tonight.  Sorry for the good grammar.
Wait... you fuckers have already tamed Hell?  Geez, what is there left to do.

Urg.  ugh.
So... the whole rule of "drink until you are unquestionably inebriated" before starting followed by "continue drinking" led to a state of "passed the fuck out".

Nealry all of our miners died because the prefious overseer told them to digf a ditch without any way out. They starved in holes

Whoops 

It wad you, wasnt it? A fort without anyone with mining skill 
I like yuour style
...

More stripmaiming!
Lets see what the rapist says.
The rapist says that our fort is a bunch of lazy bums either vomiting or being on cleaning duty to wipe the vomit.
All 129 of em.
Wouldn't have it anyu other way

a obsidian casting facility sounds like a reasonable project for the next overseer.

i fail to see how anything could go awry

from 120 to 50 with 290babies. what happened?
NOT ENOUGh mAGMA. It is evaporating
only about 100 deaths this tyrn

Outside is a SCARY FUCKING PLACE and I'm never going there again, holy shitbiscuits. That was like one second of exposure.

Wait how do you spell gangrene. OH GOD I SHOULD NOT HAVE GOOGLE IMAGE'D THAT

My cat is helping me type this, by which I mean that I can't use the keybraod proprely because he keeps headbuttignmy hand out of the way.

This is impressive? There's still more dead people than living. The terrain outside is a barren wasteland, and our primary resource is corpses (besides rock I guess). Half of our military, plus our "doctor" is slowly dying of Gangrene... Do you know what? Yeah we're doing okay.

Oh, and the rabbits.. yep, about half of the embark points were spent on bunnies. Legions of furry little menaces. Rabbit guardianbeats worked in Monty Python so why wouldn't they work for us too? Seemed like a good idea at the time. Turns out that they need to eat. Who knew. Oh well. Plenty of dead pets.

... I got shithammered, guiz. It'll be a while before I drink again. Can hair hurt? My hair hurts.

As are we all.
 I missed my timing.
Can't seem to stay upright in my hair.
DF os ebyond me at this point.
It is horrifyinh.
Zi it terrible.
It is inevitable.

Sorry guys.

set some jpobs jobas. HObs JOPS JOBS! JOBS! Damng it. I mean "Damn it". Drik. DRUNK! Oh for urists sake

Type contro off.

Firots or tder of bion sfls tis to checkt oea asve fif.
...

Plance slooks like wmy wifeddxs vagina at he wring time of the month.
...

Very effincient and good pnlan. Notibg can go rinong. I congratulate and toast with dringk!@
Druing count: Rum lots, vondaka some, whisky many.
Plan is simple: put all stuff in depiot, close to firt. Dwaves can get stuff fast, make happy fort. Good plan, like lots.

the fortress is hereby self surntsing: we have the three Bs BOOZE, BEDS AND BLUMP HELMETS!

A ghostly milker is haunting the fortress! oooooooooo WHO YOU CONNA CALL
THATS RIGHT YOUR GONNA CALL THE STONECRAFTER to... craft a... FUCK do we call those things again
SLAB
I'm sure someone will get to that in short order
WHAT DO YU MEAN I NEED A SLAMB TO MAKE A SLAB but then... how do I make a slab to make a slab with
...

WOW YOU GUYS HOLY SHIT SOMEONE MADE A DRINK
Other than me, I mean. I just had a Mabinogi moment there. "Shoruke realized that Coca Cola is an ingredient of vod-coke"
...

cavies have pups? I thought cavies were birds? Birds have pups? Oh, huh. Cavies are rodents. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

haVE YOU ever tried alteranting shots of whiskey with beer?

i am like "UGHHH, why is the whisley so sweet, i'm going bakc to beer"

and then "AAARGH, WHAT IS THIS EVEN, i'm going back to whiskey"
...

So, i have just arrived at this Fortress to become the next overseer and i immideatly regret my decision.

I think someone saved this game with a texture pack, because the walls are screaming at me.
"ääääääääääääääääääääääää"
"ȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃȃ"
"èèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèè"
"ïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïïï"
...

LOL THE VOLCANO HAS CRABS what a slut
...

I thought this was drunk fortress? Where's the death? Where's the screwed-upness? Where is the random staricases flooded with magma? Wait... I saw one of those.
...

WAIT WHAT what is wolverine doing here
he's Canadian he's supposed to be a nice dude like the rest of us
...

I just watche d someone fail to pickup a rock because they were too scared off all the corpses whow do you people have sex seriously
...

wait right I had to go mine for mateal for... the tower! WHoa, I just linked two thoughts together. Drink!
...

and they caves are all like AAAAAAAA
and the grass outsdie is like ......U.....U......U
shit's ewerid, yo

We have a shit load of logs in this fortress.  For future reference, a shit load is about 10 fuck tons.

Kamin2 became an axe lord.  Chicagoland won't know what hit it.

CHARCOAL TIME OTHERFUCKERS
SET ON REPEAT
ALL THE CHARCOAL ALL THE TIME

BOB
DID YOU LIE ON YOUR RESUME
BECAUSE THEAT IS PUNISHABLE BY GETTING SMACKED IN THE LEG WITH A LOG

WHY IS EVERYONE DEHYDRATING TO DEAHT WHEN THERE S 200 BOOZE IN THE STOCKPILE
IT'S RIGHT FUCKING THERE
ITS A GODDAMN BARREL YOU JUST TAKE A BREATH AND STICK YOUR FACE IN ITNTIL YOU ARENT THRISTY ANYMORE AND THEN YOU COME BACK UP AND TAKE A BREATH AND DO IT AGAIN

WHY IS SKYPE SUDDENLY IN GERMAN

Did...did you just destroy two fortresses?

In the same turn!?

3rd Malachjite, 195
Ot looks like we have.. A metalcrafter named Inod, whjo is currentluy hungting, aspparentlu,
a fd=arner named Idewn whi is being a lazy fuck,  and another laxy fuck named Fujkod who is.l... parently... a LYE MAKER>
Well then, Fukod, I am sure you'lll ho fsr in tyhid world... (also the light over mhy keyboard ot yturned off just now, nit you can;t tell can you??_)

Shit guys, sorry about that.
I kinda passed out when my computer did- it wouldn't boot up and gave me some weird error message I've never even seen before.

I thought I'd lost it entirely, since my computer said something about a 'system restore'.
Somehow, though, despite it actually erasing Dwarf Fortress itself, the save survived. How, I do not know.

[spoiler=snape dies lol]I don't know how to un-sideways this picture because that btolle was a lot fuller a few minitues ago.

*picture mremoved*

Today, we learned that fried chicken and pina scoladas do not ix well.
...

There will be only wone drwof left and he will assmelmbel a fragtag bunchr of misftis and save the world fro dthe drunk overloadrd
...

wait, since fucking when wcan you maek pots out of ay ol rockd?
since when do we have depots ready for the traders? And spare mechanisms?

SINCE FUCKING WHEN
DO THE DRWAVES MAKE ARTIFACTS THAT COULD BE USEFUL
LIKE REALLY USEFUL

Oh my gosh, you guys! Do you remember that part where I kept predicting that we were having Doomed Idyllic Hometown syndrome?
I was right. Gods above, the tropes are real.

Oh, lazy newb pack, how i miss thee. those graphics, man, its like someone raped mr game and watch and screenshoted his pixelated corpse trough a laggy 56k connection. My eyeballs are requesting a divorce.
...

Ok why is there a forgotten beast living inside a giant used condoms.
...

Just LOOK at it, it's just constantly on fire. apparently full of bed. beds are wood. wood is love, wood is life. life and love are burning nonstop in our halls and nobody gives a single shit. this is the death of soul. this is drunk fortress.

no crime we are the perfect society. an ydillic community doing jackshit, made of shitty booze that tastes like chocolate. WTF LEFT HAND WHY DID YOU STOP TYPING GHHH
...

Well, here we are, haunted by the ghosts of christmas past, present, future, imperative, and subjonctive.
-some dude taken by a fey mood. hopes he needs ghosts, because thats basically what we have right now. put 4 to rest. 3 more spawned. it like an hydra made of ectoplasm and screw yous.

I'm not quite drunk as a skunk yet but still nearly drunk as a small, unpleasant mammal of your choice.
FUCK THE FOREST! MURDER TH TREES AND BUILDF A MONUMENT TO DORFKIND OU OF THEIR DEAD WOODEN CORPSES!
OPERATION FUCK THE ELVES BEGINS NOW!
...

 need te drink more. getting slighrty coherent.
Dorsfg angry. stressed from seeing edad elves. WHAT?
DWARVES ARE ANGRY ABOUT SEEING DEAD ELVES? FEAR SEEING DEATH? OF ELVES? I don't belong in this fortress anynroe.

THE TREES! THEY GROW TOO FAST! THE TREES ARE WINNING! CAN*T CHOP DWONW WASFT ENOUGH!
THE ELCVES ARE WINNING DUE TO DEES GROWING TOO FAST! HORRORS! MUST CHOP!
...

I know aht month it is. that is too sober for errunk fortress.
see? i frote drunk fortress bu ri doesnt look llime tit

Damn. Why isn't it filled with magma or collapsable. It would have been so easy to make it collapsable and have a lever to destroy every constructed wall and floor aboveground. Well, atleast we can still will it with magma, right?

Also, I feel like this picture belongs in this post somehow.

...

YOU FUCKERS LOCKED THADT ASS IN MY OFFICE SIGNATURE
WHAT THE FU-
actually that's fairly appropriate. well done.
...

I lookied up gelding.
"A gelding is a castrated horse or other equine such as a donkey or a mule."
he's a horse-dick'-cutter/? fuck, toalk about overspecialization

instead ended up having a fight in my living room against imaginary dolphin ninjas.

I seem to have a drinking problem. I'm so drunk that I choke when I try to drink. That's a problem.

That must be it. Damn. This is like cheating except the patient is likely to die
now diagnosing and suturing taco..
Okay.. rurns out that our only skilled dorctor is a child who shouldnt even be oing this. also, he just gave our expedition leader (also manager, chief medica officer, broker, bookkeeper and sherif..) toe surgery.
I don't even want to think aobut this mess
...

Iäm a dwarven girl in a dwarven wrld. beard is plastic, it's boozetastic
you can kiss my arese, read on this farce
breweting on this nations, booze is creations
come on dorfiem, lets go boozie

no, icant belivece it. i just wrote that. i of all my possible songs that must jhav popped in myu head
i hate pop music. i hate late 90 music.- camnd damn radio and crappy  music plauing in it at the mmiment
have to change the channel. i hate that music and i hate myself for lettin it get in my head
i blame the booze

I don't even knowwhat its is bah i should cancelcld cne cnacelc everything FUCK THIS SHIT AN THYESE TYPOS, THE MIGHTY NARYAR IS ALLMIGHTY

''Instructions were not clear, entombed population in obsidian''

Oh oogd, the walls ware screaming in new and brightly imaginative ways
...

hmm, these little ice-cream treats go decently with vodcoke
OH MY GOD BRAINFLASH
vodcoke ...fuck what's the word I just had it
smoothies no
sundaes no
VODCOKE FLOATS
someone should test that

NURGLEFORTRESS! MIASMA FOR THE MIOASMA GOD, OLD xxSOCKSxx FOR THE SOCK THRON!
why is the waaver on fire?

Historically the choice falls to the First Drunk.
I'm good either way.

This is the truth. Whether or not First Drunk is swayed by popular opinion, well... THIS IS NOT A DWARFBLASTED DEMOCRACY! ONE DRUNK TO RULE THEM ALL!

One drunk to find them.

One drunk to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Seven bottles for the drunk lords in their halls of stone

Three bottles for the sober-kings under the sky

Nine for the dorfed players doomed to die

One for the Sloshed Lord on his Besotten Throne

In the land of Drunk Fort where the forts fall

Nobody is giving Bobnova water. Understandable because water doesn't exist
poor guy though
It's autumn! It's way longer taking than... uh
It's going.. way...
fuck how do I talk
...

(tangent: you know when you're drunk and uyou get unnecassarily phiosiphical about things athat druns shouldn't care about/? I have NO IDEA HOW BELTS ARE BETTER THAN pants without belts)
In other news, it's Canada
I mean snowing

i thin gk were fjcke, boys. It got otu of control after i finsihde the jug. I should nt hav inishd the jug. I cant see what is goinf on, gah so mych eye-molesting blinking and why did i enagrve evetyhti g it looks awful ic ant tella what is oging on i fe;; dslpr got too long i am sorry snapti too mayn keas staleing our shit all of it
gmae vrashed but had sacwd on dirst of autumn you get a chance to not kill us only has deven dorgs ahain whe n it crashzed i sleep again night

Did naryrar say that the caervnes aws sgoing to be un aritigthifyignd?
airtisghtiyfied
airtygihtyied
fuck
airtighifyeid
yeah
Naryar named someone
Scrurffy 3: To Confuse Shoruke Becasuesu it's Funny
YOU jERK
IT'S HILARIOUS

A mausoleum?
I need a bigger one!
WITH MAGMA!
AND PLUMPHELMETS!
AND PEASANTS TO BREW AND STORE THEM IN ENDLESS VAULTS OF BOOZE AND MAGMA!
BOOZE BEYOND THE GRRAVE
...

Tjecnoxan got moody. must be that time of the ..what ever dorfs do in workshiops

Oh right, the penis festival.

Is this going to influence your fortress design at all?

FUCK THAT SHIT FUCK ALL THAT NOPE SHIT
too many dicsk already do not need more

FUCK I JUST SAID NICKS NOW I CAN REMEMBER THE FESTIVAL AGAIN
FUCK
MORE DRINKIGNS

whuy is my cup empty when I need amor edringknigs


* shoruke obeys call of nature
FUCK I HAD TO LOOK AT MY OWN DIC WHILE USING THE BATHROOM
TOO MANNY DIIIICKS
* shoruke drinks

GOD FUCKING DAMN WHY DO THEY NEED TO BE CALLED GUINEACOCKS

NOBODY CARES
I DON'T CARE
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR PENIS SUBSTITUTES AND SMACHK SOMETHING
FUCK FUCKING WOOD FUCKING PUNS FUCKING PENISES
FUCKING-
I want to give up, ethe dick puns are everywhere Q_Q
wow, really? Y'allre more drunked than I am if you think you're gonna suvrive this, cuz I'm the leaedr and I can't even spell migratns right noew? XD
also, grats on being promoted to carpentssderps ya fucks. All of you. I want some trees GONE.

If next overseer fills the fortress full of dicks, I swear to god I will find a way to burn them.

I wasn't going to but you managed to convince me. The next turn I take will be the year of phallos.
I will build a giant erect phallos mausoleum sticking out of the mountain side in the honor of the Shork-clan.
..I wonder if I can add something involving magma to it
Edit: Probably not but atleast we can fill it with plumphelmets

I especially like the magma channel that is one dig designation away from flooding the entire map with magma. When was that built?

Erm.
It WAS flooding the map with magma. For multiple turns. It was sealed with a cavein

The entire lake emptied immediately and every part of the fortress below was instantly filled with 7/7 water. Didn't even know that it was possible to water move so fast. The lake just disappeared. It's a damn wooden doomsday device. (That makes it the third fortress-killing device on this site)
I dub it "The doom wang"
lets see...
-building cosntructs on top of treest crashes the game. we ambarked in a forest...
-weresomethings. they are all dea di think
-fortress is surrounded byu water. the parts that arent are directly underneath water
-the fortress is built on top of to supports and is collapsable.
-there are kobolds lurking around. horrfying
-all tha keeps the fort from drowning are a bunch of drawbridges on levers and a few borbidden dors.
-we now have a giant mutilade dong that will drown the fort if soemtgne puills the lever
whats tere not top love?

Also, they make excellent drowning chambers now.

What, is this Dwarf Fortress or something?

It's a can of monster, a can of cherry Arizona, and half a bottle of southern confort. I called it ''who cares''. My roommate is a bit annoyed that I won't tell him what it is. But I am. I just kept repeating ''who cares'' until he left. This shit is so good, I want to punch a chicken in the throat, and scream ''Feel that pain, it's the feel of how awesome this drink is flowing from my body to yours''. I re-read the last sentence, and realize it's obviously time to start this turn.
...

that's right. I can't locate my chair. And I'm sitting on it.
Guess how efficiently I'll find this outpost liason now.
...

Hey i found some tombs
Now get those fuckers in there
Only haikus now...

That will save some time
not having to build coffins
I'll use those instead.

Can't run this fort now
Alex the cat wants some love
i rub his belly.

Of course you bite me
You jack pile of ginger trash
never trust a cat

,,i  think that i hve been listening to jogcast's "I am a dorf" for two hours straight.
murky pools are full of mist. interesting
--how could a dorf fall from so high? oh for honks sake..
HONK! HONK!
We need clowns! And garnierite!
BLUE GARNIERITE!

yup, seems to work, rating : LEVER/10
rating: WATER/10
THE ONLY WAY THIS COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF IT WAS MAGMA
WATERMURDERED
15:34 Only three drowned. THIS NEEDS TO BE FIXED

you killed it... 😦

...But we will rebuild. Even if I must use a thousand dwarves with a thousand buckets for a thousand years. Or worse, learn how pumps work.

...But not right now. its been 36 hours and im still hangover.

It's like a rolling snowball. Made out of corpses.

Sadly i have a hard time drinking cider since i got so drunk on it we got kicked out of a restaurant... then i blacked out and woke up in my bathtub, naked with a pair of winter boots, a wolf blanket and my spare change sticking to my forehead. now all i can taste is tye devilish taste of iron.

during my blackout i apparently purchased a piano

Weredwarves.
Poor animals. Turning into horrifying little midgets 29 days a month.

''why would you need a shurt'' replies an unknown female voice. Good point random female voice. I drcide to go shurtless. I am chestman. I can feel the liberating power of freedom and possibilities. Anatchy. Chaos.
I am the alpha and the omega.
...

Disclaimer, I just smashed my ass. like, srly. someone said, lets play adventure time! so i sang the song. And i got excited and sat violently on the toilet, not realizing that the seat wasnt up. Ceramic is solid, and painful. Guys i smashed my ass. Most of the fortress is now floating above a sometuimes frozen ocean,. Like, physics got out of the window. this is actually stupid now.
...

People, focus,. Make a tacos. ui dont carwe whats happening in the fort, just keep it alive, if we make a tacos this turn was worth it Worth it. BANANA BANANA BANANA. Sorry for thsi random burst of fruit outbuirst wont happen again.
...

ok so we all learned a lesson about respect and devotion and racism AND CAPS LOCKL. and about how you shouldnt burst into natash' room screaming HEY WHATS UPA BECAUSE MAYBE NATASHA IS SLEEPING AND PEOPLE WENT TO THE BEER STORE AND THEY ARENT IN NAT'AS ROOM SMOKING WEEK AND THERES ONLY NAT AND YOU WOKE HER AND SHE'S PÎSSED. This is a lesson we all just learned.
-Ok alex.
-Thanks wine.
*everything is better
MNo really why is every buil;ding in this fort not a taco.
Im unconfident on my ability to chicken wing right niow.
hwe spilled my booze and i stole his. He works tomorrow and i dont HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA evil maniacal laughter!!@!!
MUSIC motherfucker do you speak it. Anyway back to giant tacos. everything is slow. everyone is droning. OH WELL thTS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT LEARNING MUSICAL THWEORY.

hELL MUSIC THEORY IS IMPORTANT THTS how you learn how the notes work and why they fucking are there opn your guitar. Do youn think people just made random instruments with strings nd played them to get chicks? guess again. There is a logic behind it all. altho i once got to sleep wioth an opera singer, thanks to that, (they dont actually ssing during sex, misconceptiotnO) . so octaves is 8 motherfucker, but the eight note is the same as the first note.OMG FINISH THAT TACO WTDF, I GAVE NO OTHER ORDERS. like whatsdid you decide to do tiotherwise we have 36 idlers no excuses,. MAKE THER TACO.
...

when you play the gasme of throne, you either win or you get drunk and it suddenl;y doesnt matter because everything is shaking and oh god why am i making this,

dONT VOMIT ON YOUR CAT.

'man cat was so drunk
no.
''Man, cat got wasted
no.
''Man, what the fuck the cat
no.
Yeah, the cat must have tasted something, he barfed on something
unlikely, too complex.
I'll just wait for people to notice, and pretend i know nothing.
Then ill say
''He must have licked something he shouldnt have and got sick''.
Nailed it.

I just stumbled insto my room, stat down at my computer, then fell ver onto my arse and  roke out laughing, I think I a, drunk.
I miight play a turn in a bit.

I have no recollection of posting that. O.o
Sorry guys.

made a BLOWGUN
WHO THE FDSUCK WOULD FELLATE A GUN YOU FCKING'
...

this fort is dworight idyyllic
well excetp for that one time someone wetn mad and mrudered the whoel entry hallway
but liek, ONE TIME!

So anyway, as promised, today we learned th-
BUNNYS



BUNNY ISLAND IS THE MOST BEST PLACE EVAR

i decide that flapping my hands on the piano randomly for 5 minutes while screaming fiiiiiiish, fisssssh, fishfishfish is as goosd as any time to start this turn.
...

We now have a room filled with fire and webs and demons and half of everything we own is on fire forever
I henceforth declare this turn a success.

Ahh. Delicious swede. TRurnip. Something.
some moose meatloaf too

My words are simple
No grand complexities sprouting from intellectual seedlings within the mental macj=hinations of the human psyche
...

brimestone(hellish stuff for anal probes)?
...

Smooth yes smooth it out hmmmmm oooooooooh ughhhh.

in case of danger aply AX to FACE, repeta till danger stops twitching. good

нузб щгк пщщв фтв руфдер вшуещ fk wrong mode.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Just for the record, I blame GWG for that derail, because he gave us all inspiration, and he of all people should know by now what happens when a Bay Watcher gets inspired.

How was I supposed to know that a note about being in a quote pyramid a lot would set off a quote pyramid?

Also, no turning this into another quote pyramid.