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[Jervill]

Now, now, those turns were fun, but new players also bring their own flavor of fun to the fortress, so I wouldn't mind it at all if a new player came in and played.  

Also, Yoink has taken a turn before right?  It sounds as if he's getting drunk sometime soon...if he can be persuaded to play again.

[Naryar]

Now, now, those turns were fun, but new players also bring their own flavor of fun to the fortress, so I wouldn't mind it at all if a new player came in and played.  

Also, Yoink has taken a turn before right?  It sounds as if he's getting drunk sometime soon...if he can be persuaded to play again.

I see you and Shoruke have taken over drunk fortress. That's fine, the more drunken players the more Fun.

[Shoruke]

I see you and Shoruke have taken over drunk fortress.

I challenge you to take it back from us. 
Or someone new could do it, either way is fine.

EDIT: You guys, the last turn was almost a month ago. If nobody else takes a turn in the next 3 days, then I will, Shoruke-overdose be damned!

[Shoruke]

Welp, time to end the silence. The least turn was 29 days ago, so now I guess I'm going to have to step up and end the awkward silence. I'm going to continue from Einstein's turn, survive as long as I can (not getting my hopes up), and when/if the fort crumbles to its last, I will switch to Jervill's alternate universe where we're not quite all dead yet.

Spoiler: picture of sangria (click to show/hide)

Thing I like about the Katakana alphabet, is that I can actually read stuff.
senngaria<*something*waenn&fuRUtsu>
they were probably trying to say Sangria (red wine and fruits)

Wait, I forgot to buy coke. Let's see what else I have... milk, or peach tea. Well, let's see if vodka + peach tea is any good.
*tries it*
...That's... disturbingly easy to get through. This could be very bad for me. Could make for a great turn, though.

Well, I downed that entire bottle of sangria, a shot of straight whiskey, and a couple shots of vodka...
So, even though it means I account for 3 of 4 and 2 of 3 of the last turns, here I gooooo~

[Shoruke]

Spoiler: that took a really long time (click to show/hide)

Off to a great start aren't we?

ROLL CALL
EVERYONE SAY YOUR NAME AND HOW FUCKET YOU ARE ON A SCALE OF 1 TO BRITTANY SPEARS' MUSIC CAREER


"zzz"
"Kamin, needs a fucking drink, sir!"
"rocksROCKS mewhehe hehe *hic* FUCK my arm"
"Zulban, can't feel my arm, sir!"
"Lovechild, creeped the fuck out by all these ghosts, sir!"
"Deduk, holy fucking shit I do not have any functioning limbs SIR"
"zzz"
"Inod... needsa... fuggin'... wow I'm tired"
"Deduk needza haha u sed duck"
"zzz:
"zzz"
"DUMAT REPORTING FOR zzz"
"Kol... needs a break... sir..."
"I'm FOUR!"

GREAT WORK MAGGOTS
UNPOSE

this was the first three seconds


Now, it MIGHT be because overdosing on sangria and whiskey makes the room spin, but for some reason this other report from twenty seconds later doesn't match up so I don't know where to crop it


Go figure, people are dying
also go figure, people on the internet. Can't even eat food without getting troled around here, lol

Basically our only hope is that the strange mood guy locks himself away long enough for migrants to show up and become the New Original Seven or however many

I wonder how many trolls there actually are


Seems to be about four
by the way I'm just gonna leave the game unaused while I upload these pics and type this sentence it's noit like I can give an order that will get followed anyways

wait since when are we down to 2 guys

I thought operation fuck the world was some other succession game

gods this fort is such a goddamn mess I literally can't see this troll
Naryar can, I guess, good for him, but fuuuck man, my weyes

Naryar's stuck in some kind of infinite loop infovlfing running away from ta troll thats tstuck in miasma
the other guy is gonna die of dehydration soon
so basically we're banking on Naryar running like a bunch for long enough to get migrats

nvm other guy died its all you naryrar
wait... this troll isn't chasing him... he's got one injured toe. Is that it? Is that enough? Can you gripple a troll by crushing one of its otoes?
mental note: lego traps

well if he's crippled, naryar you're in the military now go get him
meanwhile, on facebook:


(I' got through another 3-4 shots of vodka during that btw)

how do I
resize the
fukkit


I was told there would be mountains

jesus cruits he won?


well he kinda won
now he's asleep... so we wait.
And drink vodka with peach tea.
and he hope that migrants aredubmer than trolls are smart

the trolls are guarding the brigdge
so... maybe?

by the way it's winter so... migrants are gonna be a hwhel
I'm gonna... play some smash while I wait
wait, we're techinaclially not under siege dafuq

i guess that's why the trolls aren't looking for naryar but... why arent they leavig then
or maybe thaye thingk theyve won and thats just how trolls spend thier time at their house
jthey just sit
on the brdige
and wait
for daaaays
while the bunny and the duck have this huge drama over OMG THERES A TROLL

I don't belive this shit

gotta love how the first thing they did is find dead bodies

and they're... busy putting things in tombs, completely ignoreing that one troll int the entrance bridge
the rest of the invaders left, there's jsut one
he's imposing enough to stop people from entombign that one mason, but hes not really worries about actually hurting anything

I forbade those three corpses that everyone is oigng for. CANT FAIL
it failed. they keep going for other corpses ow but i cant figure out what ones
so, keep doing that forever you guys

GETTING STUFF DONE


hmm, there's 8 people in the fortreess
which means we actually have exactly 7 new dwarves
WQUICK WHAT ARE THE NAMES OF THEOSE 7 MOTHERFUCKES FROM CINDERAELLA

I mean snow white
for some goddamn reason wikipedia os no godamn help in this

I've never had this much trouble giving dwarves nicknames


I'm sick of this troll
I know the best way to tdeal with trolls is to tell them no one appreceiateaes them for being trolls on thes interente but he re we go
everyone GET HIM



gbeg pardon?
no, the troll
go get him

it autosaved while everyone was gangpiling this troll
it was the most awkward freezeframe ever
"hey guys does nayone ind if I get trhis trolls dong out of my motuhth while we wait"
"no ur gonna sit there while it saves"

most hilariously stupid fight ever
everyone is just... sitting down. Thye're all too dtied

naryar ended a mandate by dying .good for you

you know what? fuck it. this isn't fun anymore, it's not funny anymore, I'm calling this timeline over. Jervill, you're up!
I mean... wow how do i explain this
I'm switching saves

I forgot to take a screenshot of the game saying your settlement has been abandoned but that's what happenedd

* shoruke has trouble opening jervills' save file becuase booze

go figure. *continues drinking vodak-peach tea

what the fuck... I can't... make it... load the... FUCK.
Man, I *knew* I should have downloaded this shit before I got drunk. Jervill, did you abandon the fort before you saved? It doesn't even recognize that there' a worlsd to make a fort in, let alone maek me load the game

I can't... it' won't...
FUCK IT
new game
next person starts from jervills save if they can but in the mean tiem its time to try the
where was I going twtih wthat sentenece

EW GAME
let's try something fun
WHY DOESN'T MY ALT CODESD WORK
!!fun!! (it'ss wtwol exclamation marks I will burn in hell for my tech-badness)

well I can't find any actual evil biomes cazue all the purple stuff is goblins forts
but this llooks like an okay spot!


plz excuse the big image drunking is hard

weapons? pfft I can't hear you over all this BBEEEEEEER we need
and one cat


I was told there would be mountains.

why are they at the top? I thought they were at the bottom...
w/e
TIME TO DO THE THING
with the
pixkakes

THE NEW ROSTER

It makes more sense in the full-size picture I swaer

winter is really weird here
the map keeps winking at me

when did we get 99 willow logs? w/e
hey you reember that one time I assigned one of the dorfs to be a fisheddorf and nothing eldse
and then the biome was freezing
hahaha

I'm an idiot

It's really weird. The map keeps saying the bottom half of the map is mountains but it's all flat.
okay the map thawed out so now theat there's water we can... uh.
Well the fisher dood is busy so that's something

today's letter of the day is 'c' which stands for
we are being attacked by harmless capybaras

I want to know what region of the world the trees turn pruple, blue, yellow, and green in spring
and red
and white

1.6 months later, the woodworks lost a fight with a tree
he got better

wow, shit time geos fast in a new fort
it's summer and there's wood everyowehre
that' not an innuendo our woodworker has been busy with his wood all spring

just realized the walls aren't screaming.
bliss.

I'm designing the fort in my sual style
so everything might look nondrunken

HAHAHAHAHA
sure

why are there migrants?
"you know what those 7 clods in the middle of buttfucking nowehere need"
"they need useless people thats what they need"
w fishers, a farmer, and a ranger. Oh boy you guys.

how is someone injured? Nothing's happened!


Bob? You need to wgo back to worker safety training
srsly
its important
we have a union and stuff

hehe giving everyone cutsom titles is fun


So, I've hit preview while writing this post. And I seem to be making use of time travel because the order of the post is fucked up.
But I'm too drunk to figure it out. I'm sorry.

at least the trading darves lwill like our depot
once I figure out how to build it when there's water
ummm


why did I bring a metalworker? There's no metal.
CHARCOAL TIME OTHERFUCKERS
SET ON REPEAT
ALL THE CHARCOAL ALL THE TIME


what.


WHAT THE FUCK, BOB
I TOLD YOU TO DO THE READINGS
they're mandatory for a reason, juesus

this right here, this is why we pause the ame wihle rereading the post

FUCK MAN.

well, the space  carved out for the dopet is still flooded with a single inch of water, so I guess the deopt goes outside
the good news is we have one hundred billontioty logs to make it out of


cool story bro

"What do you request from our merchants"
"uhhhhhhhhhhhh"
"Lets go with booze"

STOP TALKING SO FAST

wait, is it autumn? since when? new forts are crazy fast.

heh, nobody was designing the trade depot because the woodworker LOST A FIGHT TO A DTREE
seriously we should all start calling Bobnova Durkon
he should take it as a compliment
at least durkon has enough hp to survive when he loses a fight with a tree

I think the overworld has as much wood as grass by now. So that's nice.

what, again?

with the migrants I eman. the tradres leaving is the first time. this fort.

farmer farmer ranger ranger duck duck farmer duck duck ranger
OH MY GOD
WE GOT A REPLACEMENT BOB
"adequate wood cutter" YOU FUCKING BETTER BE

the new roster y'all


it's mid-autmn... 1.5 seasons until I can stop mixing peach tea with vodka. *drink*

I hope whoever coems next can figure out the military screen while drunk cuz I sure as fuck cant

Okay, people are getting interrupted by something, but as far as I can tell, the interruption is Ruhn having a conversation with a stork he is shooting.

Man, this sleeping system bugs me sometimes. "There's a person sleeping peacefully. I should make sure he is not thirsty by splashing a bucket of water on his face." Seriously? Fuck off you guys if he was thirsty he'd wake up and go faceplant the river

which incidentally is frozen. Wouldn't stop me, I'm canadian lol

how are you all thirsty when there's 67 units of drink...?

we have too much wood (lol) and too many idlers. Time to build a hippy elf wall.
It'll come in useful sometday even if its sacriligoeus

FUCK, BOB, ARE YOU SERIOUS


BOB
DID YOU LIE ON YOUR RESUME
BECAUSE THEAT IS PUNISHABLE BY GETTING SMACKED IN THE LEG WITH A LOG

I could have sworn I told someone to be a mechanic, why don't whe have nay mechanisms
and I'm pretty sure we have two miners, why isn't anyone digging bob and bob's graves
WHY IS EVERYONE DEHYDRATING TO DEAHT WHEN THERE S 200 BOOZE IN THE STOCKPILE
IT'S RIGHT FUCKING THERE
ITS A GODDAMN BARREL YOU JUST TAKE A BREATH AND STICK YOUR FACE IN ITNTIL YOU ARENT THRISTY ANYMORE AND THEN YOU COME BACK UP AND TAKE A BREATH AND DO IT AGAIN

the FUCK you guys

...I figured it out. The water in the passageway froze. One-inch-deep ice serves as an impassable wall to dwarves who can carves solid rock with their beards.
We need to replace these dwarves with Canadian lumberjacks. Just as drunk but they can deal wiht an inch of snow LIEK A REAL DWROAF OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO

there's like a dozen of us just sitting outside
wait for naryar to finish digging the staircase
too stupid to jump down onto an inch of ice
I'm out there dehydrating to death too, armed with a pickaxe, and too thirsty to think "gee you know aybe I could dig that one tile staircase

I thought there was something in the game's code about not making a solid ice tile unless it was at least 4/7 depth
guess not

wow.
Naryar dug out one tile of ice into a ramp (Shoruke number 1 of 2 was too thirsty to do it apparently), and, in the two frames of time it took for that tile to re-freeze, I swear to god I have never seen dwarves move that fast

that was like the time Obiwan and Quigon decided to use their force powers like smart people and run like crazy, except there was 17 of them
it was strangely awesome

mental note do not stand between thirsty dwarfves and booze
Excuse me, what?


I thought I was the leader, have I been usurped?
Nope, I'm dead. Caught in foot-deep water on a staircase. Fuck.
At least the other me is still alive. *knowdck wood*

Well, it's only been 10 months, but I think I should stop I'm going to be hung-over enough as it is.

Here have a
zzz

P.S. my drinking tally
-1 bottle of sangria
-2 gulps of whiskey
-I don't know how much vodka I started with, but I'm out now

*the next morning*
W-what did I do to my poor tummy...
why don't my eyes work properly...
WHY IS SKYPE SUDDENLY IN GERMAN
also, I don't know why part of the post about starting the new fort is up in the part about the previous fort.

As for whoever's next, I feel kinda bad about just nixing Jervill's turn, so... if you can make his save work, start from there.

[Random_Dragon]

Shoruke is the new Wrex, it seems. owo

[Bobnova]

Guess I'm not a woodcutter, rofl.
That was hilarious.

[EinsteinSatDown]

Madness.
Hilarious, incoherent madness.
With this new fort, my urge to get drunk has increased.

Damned be thee, shoruke!

[Knit tie]

I'm pretty drunk right now.

Can I play?

Yes I can, downloading now.

18 UK units in the blood, however much this is, let's gooooooooooooo!

Alrignt, who's in the queue to get dorfed?

Spoiler: Woo, I'm playing (click to show/hide)

Not enough trees, too much logs. Solution: cancel tree cutting.



Wait, are we being flooded?



We need to start a new fortress.

"lolcat's" been missing for a week. He's dead.

Some guy named "Shoruke"'s also dead.'

"Newbob" is also dead.



Everybodu's deAD Dave.



At least people have a place to sleep now.



There is no hope.

[Random_Dragon]

I'm pretty drunk right now.

Can I play?

Yes I can, downloading now.

18 UK units in the blood, however much this is, let's gooooooooooooo!

Alrignt, who's in the queue to get dorfed?

Ah, glad to see someone new giving it a shot, hope I'm not derping and posting several hours late. o3o

I guess myself, and um...now where'd that dorflist go...

EDIT: Oh good, the listed forum time is only an hour off, so I'm not hilariously late.

[Knit tie]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Volacono!



InkBraved!



Too bad

[Jervill]

Did...did you just destroy two fortresses?

In the same turn!?

[Knit tie]

Did...did you just destroy two fortresses?

In the same turn!?

Yup.

Starved one, flooded the other.

Should I post a save?

[Shoruke]

Did...did you just destroy two fortresses?

In the same turn!?

I...
wh-
you can't just...
HOW?!?

that's actually pretty funny 
(although you're a bit too quick to decide "screw it, I lose" IMHO)

[Knit tie]

Did...did you just destroy two fortresses?

In the same turn!?

I...
wh-
n-no...
you can't just...


HOW?!?

You know, on second thought, that's actually pretty funny  although you're a bit too quick to decide "screw it, I lose" IMHO

There was actually a several months' worth of time between me designating the dormitory and abandoning the fortress, filled mostly with dwarves starving and dying.