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A new drunken world is imminent. Should we try a modded world?

Yes!
No!
I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

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Author Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds]  (Read 1241584 times)

Shoruke

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3180 on: April 05, 2015, 04:27:19 am »
So you may be familiar with my "so today we learned" thing, yeah? I'm living in Japan to see the world, and I meet something new pretty much every time I leave the house. Well it's Spring here, the cherry trees are blooming, the Ashikaga Flower Park (home of the world's oldest wisteria) is super-beautiful, and shopping for men's clothes that isn't suits is really hard, but those are all things that I learned on other days. Today, we learned
DICKS.
"But Shoruke, surely you mean that we learned about dicks?" No. Today, we learned that dicks.

Three train stops away from my place is Kawasaki-Daishi, a small community that happens to have plenty of temples. In Spring (April 5), the temples hold a festival. It's not a Spring Festival, it's not even a fertility festival, it's a festival about penises. There are little market stalls that sell two-foot hot dogs, hot dogs wrapped in flour dough, corn dogs, candy penises complete with foreskin and balls (the only penises that are supposed to shrink as you suck them), and candy vaginas for if you get dick overload from watching 20 old Japanese dudes carry a portable shrine with an 8-foot-tall dick in it on parade. Oh wait, I meant to say three portable shrines with 8-foot-tall dicks in them. One matte black, one bubblegum pink, and one made of sublety, puns, and wood.

SUFFICE TO SAY I COULD USE SOME BRAIN BLEACH
SO Y'ALL'RE GONNA SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND WAIT FOR ME TO GET PASTED
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

Chaoseed

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3181 on: April 05, 2015, 05:00:10 am »
Oh right, the penis festival. :D

Is this going to influence your fortress design at all?
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Surprisepalace! Overseers wanted!
Quote from: OneMoreNameless on April 21, 2009, 10:59:17 pm
But they never would have given up either. And compared to sitting around in this prison for the rest of my life? Losing is fun.

Scruffy

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3182 on: April 05, 2015, 06:36:07 am »
Oh. That festival parade with a huge wooden dick
Edit: Hmm.. a dwarven beard festival..
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Shoruke

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3183 on: April 05, 2015, 11:08:35 am »
Spoiler: too fucking many dics (click to show/hide)

linking is hard
here
http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10733
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

TheFlame52

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3184 on: April 05, 2015, 11:46:14 am »
"Theflamesomenumber"
Drunk Fortress.
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miauw62

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3185 on: April 05, 2015, 12:14:54 pm »
This is great.

Please dorf me as Miauw, you can ignore the numbers.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Quote from: MonkeyHead on May 25, 2014, 05:36:03 am
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Scruffy

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3186 on: April 05, 2015, 12:15:45 pm »
Quote from: shoruke on April 05, 2015, 11:08:35 am

Scruffeh's tomb seems to be dedicated only to scruffies...
but two were unassigned so I dedicated them to me's ^_^
YOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE THE SHORKS THROUGH EGO, SCRUFFEH
CURSES! My clever plan has been foiled.
(Though one of those tombs doesn't contain an ex-scruffy but someone else)
NOW WE MUST MAKE SURE THAT THOSE SHORK TOMBS WILL NEVER BE FILLED!
Your dorfs must live on so MY tomb remains pure and unadultered by foul Shorukes!

Edit: So much quote-worthy dick dialogue on that post.

I got bored and decided to check the engravings instead of sleeping. They are mostly old and from the first years of this fort.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
My tomb is decorated with pictures of worms and cheese..
« Last Edit: April 05, 2015, 05:41:28 pm by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Taupe

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3187 on: April 05, 2015, 09:03:04 pm »
Shoruke you are the best.
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Yoink

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3188 on: April 05, 2015, 11:14:51 pm »
Wow, two engravings of me dying?! :'(

Great turn, Shoruke! And high-five for 7/11 sammiches!
I dunno what they're like in Japanland, but I sometimes have their egg 'n' mayo ones when I'm really drunk.
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Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on February 17, 2019, 05:32:37 pm
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
Quote from: grisha5 on August 07, 2014, 02:08:36 am
you need to reconsider your life
Quote from: JoshuaFH on March 29, 2018, 07:54:09 am
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Shoruke

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3189 on: April 06, 2015, 01:00:38 am »
Quote from: Yoink on April 05, 2015, 11:14:51 pm
Great turn, Shoruke! And high-five for 7/11 sammiches!
I dunno what they're like in Japanland
Eh, they're totally sammiches. They have egg salad ones which are nice because I don't have to hard-boil my own eggs to have egg salad sandwiches  :P

Someone else's turn. If next overseer fills the fortress full of dicks, I swear to god I will find a way to burn them.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2015, 10:22:20 am by shoruke »
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

Scruffy

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3190 on: April 06, 2015, 11:04:54 am »
Quote from: shoruke on April 06, 2015, 01:00:38 am
If next overseer fills the fortress full of dicks, I swear to god I will find a way to burn them.
I wasn't going to but you managed to convince me. The next turn I take will be the year of phallos.
I will build a giant erect phallos mausoleum sticking out of the mountain side in the honor of the Shork-clan.
..I wonder if I can add something involving magma to it
Edit: Probably not but atleast we can fill it with plumphelmets
« Last Edit: April 06, 2015, 11:06:58 am by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Naryar

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Dicks Overload]
« Reply #3191 on: April 06, 2015, 02:10:58 pm »
DRUNK FORTRESS: PENIS ENVY EDITION

Also I may take a turn this week. Need to make phallic symbols everywhere to give Shoruke nightmares.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2015, 02:13:25 pm by Naryar »
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Scruffy

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3192 on: April 06, 2015, 04:20:02 pm »
Hmm.. While drawing a 1z-level 2D phallos is trivial, making a 3D phallos that doesn't look like a strange mushroom in DF is tricky. This requires careful planning and I must do it before I get drunk or it will end up looking like a collossal maypole..
Wait,  why do I have 3 A4 with pictures of ... scribbled on both sides? DAMN IT! Why am I even doing this?
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Kamin

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3193 on: April 06, 2015, 05:10:07 pm »
Quote from: Scruffy on April 06, 2015, 04:20:02 pm
Hmm.. While drawing a 1z-level 2D phallos is trivial, making a 3D phallos that doesn't look like a strange mushroom in DF is tricky. This requires careful planning and I must do it before I get drunk or it will end up looking like a collossal maypole...
At least make sure it looks like a colossal, VEINY maypole.
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Naryar

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [40.24: Nobody Even Knows Anymore]
« Reply #3194 on: April 06, 2015, 05:35:04 pm »
Quote from: Kamin on April 06, 2015, 05:10:07 pm
Quote from: Scruffy on April 06, 2015, 04:20:02 pm
Hmm.. While drawing a 1z-level 2D phallos is trivial, making a 3D phallos that doesn't look like a strange mushroom in DF is tricky. This requires careful planning and I must do it before I get drunk or it will end up looking like a collossal maypole...
At least make sure it looks like a colossal, VEINY maypole.

Hmm-hmm. If you want to make artificial veins, I suggest cinnabar.

Quote from: Scruffy on April 06, 2015, 04:20:02 pm
Hmm.. While drawing a 1z-level 2D phallos is trivial, making a 3D phallos that doesn't look like a strange mushroom in DF is tricky. This requires careful planning and I must do it before I get drunk or it will end up looking like a collossal maypole..
Wait,  why do I have 3 A4 with pictures of ... scribbled on both sides? DAMN IT! Why am I even doing this?

The penis train has no brakes.

aaaalso

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GayBravado
« Last Edit: April 06, 2015, 05:36:39 pm by Naryar »
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