I probably shouldn't, but I must. The fort cannot be forgotten like this. It was too beautiful.
*grabs a nearby bottle of fireball*
* * *
Ok, so, when the filedump site said ''start a new fort'' in the description, I assumed it was just a suggestion.
Like, ''hey at this point just start a new fort''.
...
i actually spend a few minutes trying to locate the ''continue'' button.''
Is the save bugged?
Did the game not register it was in the right folder?
Or maybe just maybe I extracted, but there's a drunkfort inside a drunkford subfolder or some shit and I need to drop the subfolder in the data folder.
do keep in mind, at this point nowhere in sight in my mind is the idea that maybe just maybe the fort was destroyed or abandonned.
I'm seriously hoping, expecting, to sort the bug out and suddenly control a bunch of gritty survivors ready to kick ass!
...
Nope, the continue button is not there because it cant be continued. The most beautiful fort is dead or abandonned.
...
Unless...
Unless it is reclaimed.
* * *
My initial plan was to load the save, see the extent of the damage, and then start boozing up while brainstorming on my options. The moment I load the save once more and try to reclaim, I know imma need a fuckton more fireball.
I expected like, a fort.
''Hey Taupe, do you want to reclaim the exactly one fort?''
''yes game, I would very much love so. Let me press the exactly one button available''
''there's the fort, the game would say. Have a jolly good time, friend-o-friend!''
...
Turns out, there are a lot of fortresses in ruin.
I don,t know what I expected, especially considering the speed at which we kill them.
Oh, and they are all written in Quidditch.
*drowns himself in fireball*
* * *
This is gibberish.
Nothing makes sence.
I spent the whole day trying to understand while a crazy random person on the subway assaulted me and tried to steal my batman tshirt.
It's a ten bucks shirt, bro, get your own, don't try to rip it off my chest in public.
But this is worse.
Who created this fucking nonsence dwarven language?
I mean duh, dwarves but obviously they were drunk when they...
Oh, nevermind, I got my answer.
Still doesn't have a translation.
I do remember coming across some page or another on a random wiki last summer, with some translations.
I locate something similar.
Big fucking problem, I don't know what I'm translating.
Wasn't the fort named Tangledoil, or some crap?
Doesn't matter. Neither tangle or oil are on the list.
...because when you use garnier Fructis, your hair is neither tangled or oily!
Hey-ohhhhh!
* * *
So it just came to me.
Legend mode.
All I need is the name of one dwarf who lived in the fort to find out the name of the place, then translate it.
And I know just the dwarf!
My plan backfires when i realize each of the fort contained a lord mr tacos, sometimes more.
But I'm also confident that they died in chronological order, and i'm double sure they all died.
The save is at 213
Bingo! This one died in 213, from apparently creeping eyes, and demons and whatnot.
That means, i can get the name of the...
Oh fuck me
It's Tangleoil.
* * *
Hey wait, I can just look up the name in sites and get the translation.
I'm so
smart.Within a few days, a new group of reclaimers is in route for Tangleoil, ready to clear the place of water and retrieve the legendary garnierite furnitures.
They are called the palace of beaches, because fuck yeah.
And....
That's just... a poor starting location for our wagon.
* * *
Ok, so, right off the bat one dude and 4 dogs simply drown.
Right underneat is a dry set of rooms.
If we can dig down, or create a wall alongside the doorways... or pierce the walls leading to a lower level...
I try to give orders and create a defensive perimeter.
Nobody is listening.
Because everyone is not at the wagon. They are in a different part of the complex altogether.
Drowning.
I try to understand how or why they are there and how they got the wagon where it is.
It make negative amounts of sence.
Everyone is dead.
Except Shoruke. He looks like a corpse tho. Again.
* * *
Shoruke immediately assumes the position of leader of the...
Wait i got the wrong name damnit!
Well I guess the entanted spear is also very appropriate for a place thats erecting a massive mythical cock.
Shoruke is gonna have a lot of work to do.
If the room he's in was a cube water would be coming in from al 6 faces at once.
If you think that's impossible, just thank Armok you are not Shoruke right now.
* * *
the leaks are somewhat blocked!
Good job Shoruke!
Now the bottom section of your new happy house will keep filling up, but until it does you have access to ''some'' parts of the ruins.
Above is the wagon, full of food, but drowned.
Water won't be coming down from there either.
oh shit you have no stairs to go to the other floors.
Gotta fix that.
Shouke doesn't have an axe or a pick.
On the negative side it means he cant get access to new areas easily.
on the plus side every other area is packed with water so, yaknow, fuck that.
Thank Armok, the room he magically made his way into is sealed tight, but contains some old boulders.
He can make a staircase to downstairs.
hopefully he can get something to eat there because food, y'all.
* * *
situation dire.
I cant locate food for now, excepot for corpses. I doubt they are fresh enough to butcher.
Also, while this corner of the fortress is safe, all the other 3 corners are still leaking.
I tell Shoruke to build a carpenter workshop. We'll try to use the middle strange pillar as a way of moving around, and install some doors in case we need to abandon the area and seal it.
Suddenly, there is an ambush in the... caverns?
It consists of nothing.
Ok, thanks game.
then it happens again, and again.
Every single second, the game pauses, warns me of an ambush, asks that I drive them out, then zooms in on a blank, dark spot of unexplored caverns.
Telling shoruke to do things is proving difficult now.
* * *
I almost die.
A forgotten beast wanders right next to Shoruke.
Then vanishes.
the forgotten beast is actually the ghost of CloverMagic.
The tileset is fucked
and it is terrifying.Shoruke and his ghostly buddies don't have food, so I tell him (her) to build some workshops, to...prepare.
She'll need a carpenter, a still and a butcher shop.
with the first she'll get barrels, a bed and some chairs and table.
with the later she can actually brew stuff and butcher her pets for meet.
Upstairs the pumps have stopped, and the great dick reservoir is draining slowly.
If she can survive long enough on pets, the upper levels should bleed out outside, and slowly dry.
then she can access the wagon, and the rest of the food.
A deconstructed part of wall was the parting gift from the previous expedition leader.
Without it, the wagon level would be a mess.
also fairly positive thats how the 6 other dwarves ended up downstairs in the pool but w/e
* * *
bingo, motherfuckers!
Shoruke can now access the wagon, and the food it has
Most of the map is obscured, can't locate the food from the old fort. Won't go skydiving for it.
Shoruke is now making coffins nonstop.
Once this is done she'll make slabs.
lots of ghosts around.
Oh, and.
The demon can now also access the wagon.
oups.
* * *
The demon begins its reign of terror by swimming around.
it shoots beams of energy at the wolves floating in the outer fort.
That's right.
the local fauna is made of floating wolves.
They adapted.
evolution is real.
* * *
Time to man up.
Shoruke, look around and get some gear!
She finds hen biscuits, some eggs, a cloak, three dozen coffers, and a copper sword.
...
Good enough.
...
Shoruke becomes the milicia commander.
she has food, access to water (duh) and she is slowly building furnitures and coffins.
a demon is living very close by, she is swimming knee deep in swimming corpses, and a dozen ghosts are haunting her day and night
all her friends died horribly, and she can't escape this place
She is somewhat extatic regardless.
shoruke gives zero fucks.
* * *
A lot of important random stuff has washed off alongside the various staircases.
Shoruke finds some more food, a pile of corpses, and a pile of coffins.
Actual coffins, not coffers.
time to set up a new graveyard in the bottom right room!
...What a wonderful day this is.
* * *
You know what happens when you drown two thousand dwarves, then drain the water away?
Miasma
a
fuckton of it.
* * *
Shoruke is bored. he explores a bit.
water has been draining into the caverns. Now new sections can be accessed.
not that UI want to, but whatever.
its still good to almost pretend you have a fort.
even if a giant murderous demon could eat you at any time.
on the plus side, the framerate is no longer 10.
Things are slow and boring.
shoruke is aloneé
omg wait. Can we....
i think we can reach the garnierite now!
* * *
Here's a disclaimer
when I play this im usually also binging on mr freezes.
its like sugar thats also water.
its juice but you can chew on it
really helops not dying from massive amounts of alcohol.
* * *
Before he cabn unseal the path to the fabled garnierite dining room, Shoruke must sleep.
She is very tired
In her sleep, she is getting assaulted and raped by ghosts.
thias is not an analogy about nightmares.
Actual ghosts are violating her body while she is unconscious.
Shoruke is no longer extatic.
* * *
Things are slow.
So incredibly boring.
gonna wrap up the save,.
hopefully migrants show up soon.
but theyd only get slaughtered by the demon.
not sure this fort has a bright future.
* * *
http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10856here is teh save.
If shoruke dies, just reclaim using a bunch of soldiers and try to murder the demon. Otherwise you probably wanna focus on cleaning the bunch of corpses. there are some coffins waiting to be installed. Just gotta unforbid the various bodies.
fun times.
Poll
Author
Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1241566 times)