Firstly: Girlfriends/Boyfriends in middle school are a joke compared to the relationships you'll have later in your life.
(My first "girlfriend" i "dated" for 2 years during middle school, and during those 2 years i spoke to her once, and sat on the bus next to her once. We had been good friends that talked quite a bit before this during elementary school)
That being said, i do remember the pressure at that time to have a girlfriend, even if we never did anything it was proof to the rest of the school that I *could* have one
I'm 25 now, I live with my GF (who is a light gamer and smoking hot), and have had my fair share of relationships before finally meeting my GF, So I think I know what I'm talking about.
I'll just start listing advice in no particular order:
- Say Hi
This is probably the biggest one, if you never approach a girl you're already out.
- Ask about Her
One thing everybody loves to do is talk about themselves. Be interested, but don't be forced in conversation. Ask questions based on her responses
- Be slightly aloof
Don't smother a girl, show a genuine interest, be very pleasant and friendly, be relaxed and smile, then: get distracted by something else. Give her some time where your attention is focused on something else. Often times people judge their worth by their ability to attract attention of uninterested people. If you show that you aren't 100% focused on her, she will see that as a challenge to herself where if she can draw your focus she can prove to herself that she is attractive.
If you do smother her with attention it is very likely that she will wonder what is wrong with you that you are so focused on her of all people, and will be put off by it.. Its kinda like the "i'd never want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member"
- Talk openly, but you don't always have to say everything
The biggest destructive force in a relationship is the lack of communication, while a close second is probably over communication. Talk about your feelings. If there is one surefire way to kill a relationship its to try to act manly, and pen up your feelings. For me it took years to get past this, and many relationships. Don't expect to be able to handle all that a relationship entails your first try. DO NOT under any circumstance tell a girl about having any doubts about a relationship unless you are prepared to end the relationship at that moment.
- Get involved in an activity
It could be sports, 4-H, band, choir, or anything. Being involved will help grow your confidence, help you bone up on social interactions. Sports is also a good choice as it will help your physique, which isn't everything but it can help get your foot in the door. If you're not too into competing try Track and Field, it will get you outdoors and moving around, and get you into shape. In my high school we had one kid who joined the homemakers club, kids gave him shit about it for a few weeks until they realized that he was spending a few hours after school every few days and going on trips and hanging out as the only guy with a bunch of hotties.
- Be brave
The biggest hurdle is going to be you. If you're unafraid you'll do a whole lot better than if you stop yourself from doing what you think you should. If you like a girl, pursue her. I was always amazed to discover that the girl that I had a crush on, had a crush on me too. (This happened many times) So just go for it. I think girls are to boys what bears are to people. People see a bear and they are terrified that the bear is agressive towards them, when in reality the bear is just as terrified by the person. Boys have a crush on a girl and are terrified that the girl despises them, when in reality the girl will have a crush on someone, possibly that same boy.
I think that will be a good start for you. Remember, the key is trying, if you don't try you'll never succeed.
And I know you'll dislike this advice and it probably won't make a difference, but try not to get too bent out of shape if it doesn't work out,(which in all likelyhood will happen at some point, few are the people who live their lives with the person they dated in middleschool) although it feels like it at the time its not the end of the world, and things always get better.
(after my middle school relationship i didn't date until late in highschool, then went on an 8 year relationship binge)
one other funny anecdote: I had a friend in kindergarten who was very distraught thinking that he needed to get a girlfriend before he got to first grade.
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Topic: How to get a girlfriend (Read 29761 times)