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Author Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun.  (Read 88870 times)

Bdthemag

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #420 on: May 11, 2011, 05:57:13 pm »

Falcon punch the rest of the vampires.
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Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.

choobakka

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #421 on: May 11, 2011, 06:02:53 pm »

GO DOWN. ACTIVATE STONE. WIN GAME, I GUESS.

What do we do after this?
There is absolutely no guarantee that you will be able to activate the stone. Except your constant good rolls have prevented any of my well thought-out monsters from attacking you. If you do activate it (AFTER the boss fight) before everyone else, you'll get transported to aid whoever is in the most danger, i guess. Or maybe back to the Plane of Air. I didn't really expect you to think of using a jetpack. Or iron man-style repulsor shoes. Did you see your new nickname, by the way? Look, when you've activated all of the stones, (after a boss fight for each one, because I'm not letting you just waltz in there like Nirur did) you'll still have between about twenty and thirty turns (if there's no ridiculous plot derailing) before the FINAL BOSS and saving the world (and ending the quest and starting RTPJ2:Plane Harder). 
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Riccto

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #422 on: May 11, 2011, 06:16:17 pm »

SAM. GOGOGOGOGOGO
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Raggle Fraggle

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #423 on: May 11, 2011, 06:31:27 pm »

Ax rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Like I want to meet up with my gods-damned dad. I wouldn't even BE here if I didn't have something important to do." He glared at the female Tiefling. "Besides, isn't it hypocritical for you to be calling me out on being a Tiefling?" He held up his left hand and moved it in an imitation of a mouth, mirroring his right hand. "Oh hi Mrs. Pot, my name's Kettle, so good to meet you. Say, aren't you awfully black? There, that funny enough for this guy or what?" he asked. "Anyway, if you mean the one idiot who jumped me in the alley, it was his own damn fault. I wasn't necessarily out to kill him but if one of us was going to have to die it wasn't going to be me, that's for damn sure."

He sighed. "That guy claimed he was the best of your guild... and you know I killed him. So, if I felt inclined to try... what's to stop me from taking that knife away from you and cutting off your ears and sticking them up your nose?" he asked the man behind him, going for the intimidation route.
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

ggamer

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #424 on: May 11, 2011, 06:44:42 pm »

"fookin ritards dravin tha ship, Ah say."


Use grappling hook to go up another level

choobakka

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #425 on: May 12, 2011, 09:06:20 pm »

Sorry for the late turn. Didn't notice ggamer had posted.  ::)

"fookin ritards dravin tha ship, Ah say."


Use grappling hook to go up another level
Damn zombies. Best just to get out of here. Now where's that ladder... (2) You swing around your grappling hook, but you don't find the ladder. (6) At least those zombies aren't attacking you anymore... That's a good thing, right? (6) Hey! The lights came on! And all of the zombies are gone... Even the ones you cut into tiny pieces... That's odd. The room you're in has empty cages built into the walls. There are no portholes. There's a ladder up into the hold and two doors on either end of the room, on the fore and aft (front and back) sides. (2) The boat rocks, like it's been hit with a cannonball! No water is rushing in, so the hull must be fine.

Ax rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Like I want to meet up with my gods-damned dad. I wouldn't even BE here if I didn't have something important to do." He glared at the female Tiefling. "Besides, isn't it hypocritical for you to be calling me out on being a Tiefling?" He held up his left hand and moved it in an imitation of a mouth, mirroring his right hand. "Oh hi Mrs. Pot, my name's Kettle, so good to meet you. Say, aren't you awfully black? There, that funny enough for this guy or what?" he asked. "Anyway, if you mean the one idiot who jumped me in the alley, it was his own damn fault. I wasn't necessarily out to kill him but if one of us was going to have to die it wasn't going to be me, that's for damn sure."

He sighed. "That guy claimed he was the best of your guild... and you know I killed him. So, if I felt inclined to try... what's to stop me from taking that knife away from you and cutting off your ears and sticking them up your nose?" he asked the man behind him, going for the intimidation route.

(1+1-1(He's got a knife to your throat.)) He's not impressed. He grabs you around the chest with a lizard-like hand, and his talons scratch you enough to draw blood. Guess that isn't a knife at your throat after all. The woman says, "Maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Naktinna. Thieves' guild boss here. There's one in all big cities in the planes. We stay away from the material, because they tend to have less crime-friendly governments there. Xanthrak there is a half-dragon. So don't piss him off any more than you already have. Now, we're gonna make a little deal. You're gonna acquire an item for us, and we'll give you a guild license - after the job is done, of course. Are you gonna pay up, or are you gonna bleed out right here?"

SAM. GOGOGOGOGOGO
You draw SAM from his holster/sheath/thingy and fire(?) at the insect. (3) (dodge:1-1(back turned)) It hits the beetle on its (BP:5) sword arm right set of legs, and (damage:1+1) does nothing except make it mad. It turns around, and - OH GOD WHY DOES IT HAVE A FACE! It snarls at you, revealing some very sharp teeth, and says, lisping slightly due to the pincers (which also protrude from its mouth), "You dare to attack one of the shistersh? You will die for this insholenshe!" It flies at you, with its pincers outstretched, and (3) (dodge:1) impales you in the (BP:[damn you Riccto making me use a d8!]5) bottom left arm! (damage:4) The arm is hit pretty badly!

Falcon punch the rest of the vampires.
FALCON PUNCH! (3+2, 5+2, 4+2, 2+2) (dodge:2+1, 5+1, 5+1, 3+1) You charge at a group of vampires! You hit one, bash one solidly (+1 damage), and nick two more (-1 damage). (damage:3+2, 2+3, 4+1, 2+1) Three go down, but one takes the punch easily. He (or she, hard to tell with that mask) takes a stab at you with some dagger he had up his sleeve. (1) And misses. Horribly. He stabs another vampire who was sneaking up on you in the chest. That dagger appears to have been made of wood, since the other vamp bursts into flames and quickly crumbles to ash. (1) Your sleeve catches on fire. (damage:1) It doesn't hurt you, (3) and you put it out. Stabby McStake is looking in horror at his friend, and you smack him in the head to knock him out. There are two more vampires advancing on you slowly, as well as one who's waving his hands in fancy gestures while chanting.

GO DOWN. ACTIVATE STONE. WIN GAME, I GUESS.

What do we do after this?
You deactivate your jets, and start to fall. (3) You crash kind of heavily into the mountain, but are unharmed. You landed a little bit down the mountain from the short building with the glowing windows that probably houses the stone, so you start to walk up. (2) And then a pair of large, lizard-like creatures jumps out. They look like large bipedal red frogs, and they appear to be guarding the peak. With those big claws. (6) Hey, you know what these are! They're Slaadi! Humanoid creatures native to Limbo, the plane of chaos! Which is on the exact other side of the multiverse from Mechanus, the plane of pure order. There is no reason they would be here. Charging at you. (5, 4) (dodge:6,3) You easily sidestep one of them, but the other one hits you in the (BP:2) chest with its claws. (damage:6) And cuts you nearly in half. You are missing a lot of metal from your right side. -1 to rolls after this fight until you fix yourself up. You turn around and see the Slaadi glaring at you. One grins, showing very sharp teeth. It says, "N'khaaav rak!NkkreShe'l Haaakderr!sski'll!lii." The other, slightly taller on replies, "Vreek!ggDaarkamm!ithk cH'kllee!zz't Hoobr!d! Nkka!"

What?
...
Nirur ... succeeded?
Admirably.
Huh.

"Don't you even have the use of my brain, moron? They weren't even attacking yo- me. The lich probably sent them out to greet us, now we'll have to do things the hard way. The stone's probably well-guarded in the dungeon."

Torir looks for a poorly defended back entrance to the castle.
Not all evil rulers have read those "100 mistakes most BBEGs make", have they? There must be a back entrance! (4) And indeed there is. The music is louder over here, and it fills you with a sense of mild fear. (5) Hey! It's unlocked, too! This is great! You push open the door and walk in. You are standing in a narrow hallway. The door slams shut behind you, and you hear a click as it locks. A voice booms through the speakers, "It seems you have fallen into my trap, hero. The Maze of Terror is the only way through to my lair. Nobody has ever triumphed over the undead guards, and their bodies have been used to strengthen the defenses. Now, learn why you do not cross the Lich-king of the Plane of Death! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Wow. Someone's got issues. The hall goes straight ahead into a small round room. (6 vs 2) Nirur takes over the body and prepares to get through this fiendish maze.


Statuses:







Allies:
Spoiler: Iali Boltcut (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Fred (click to show/hide)

Vehicles:
Spoiler: Flying House "Emet" (click to show/hide)

Vortices Found:             Stones Activated:
Plane of Death  √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √
Mechanus √
Celestia √                              √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √



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Schilcote

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #426 on: May 12, 2011, 09:09:12 pm »

Son of a bitch.

INITIATE ROCKET POWERED LIFE BANNING

Better plan.

Attempt to call upon the almighty benevolent mechanical immortal-God-Emperor LS-01. Watch him roast toadmen with electric beams and plasma.

He's the green-eyed fellow in my avatar.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2011, 05:24:03 pm by Schilcote »
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WHY DID YOU HAVE ME KICK THEM WTF I DID NOT WANT TO BE SHOT AT.
I dunno, you guys have survived Thomas the tank engine, golems, zombies, nuclear explosions, laser whales, and being on the same team as ragnarock.  I don't think something as tame as a world ending rain of lava will even slow you guys down.

Riccto

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 25: Thieves, Bugs, and lots of undead
« Reply #427 on: May 12, 2011, 09:09:29 pm »

OH GOD THIS HURTS! FRED OPEN FIRE! SAM BLAST'IM! STAB HIM WITH THE BORING DAGGER.
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Raggle Fraggle

Nirur Torir

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 26: Chaotic Surprise
« Reply #428 on: May 12, 2011, 09:28:25 pm »

"Your reign ends here, foul one. Prepare to be disarmed!

... Speakers? I didn't know skeletons could find work as electricians."


Nirur enters the room and then turns undead doubtlessly lying in wait.
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Bdthemag

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 26: Chaotic Surprise
« Reply #429 on: May 12, 2011, 10:36:45 pm »

Do a flying roundhouse kick to the vampire thats chanting.

Im feeling pretty badass right now.
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Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 26: Chaotic Surprise
« Reply #430 on: May 13, 2011, 03:08:56 am »

There didn't seem to be much choice in the matter. "OK, fine, what am I supposed to get and where do I go to get it?" Ax asked with a resigned sigh. I guess a guild license might be a handy thing to have anyway. Might as well make the best of it... like I always do... How do I always end up in these situations...?
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

ggamer

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 26: Chaotic Surprise
« Reply #431 on: May 13, 2011, 05:22:27 pm »

check the door situated in the aft of the ship.

choobakka

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Re: Roll to Planejump! Turn 26: Chaotic Surprise
« Reply #432 on: May 13, 2011, 07:33:28 pm »

check the door situated in the aft of the ship.
You walk to the aft door and open it. (1) And walk into a zombie. One of a bunch of zombies in this room. The lights are on in here, and there are portholes that are too far away to see anything through. The room is smoky, and you see machinery in the gloom. Very noisy machinery. This must be the engine room of the ship. Oh, right, the zombies. (4) The one you bumped into lunges at you! (dodge:5) You easily dodge his swing and (1) trip and fall backwards like an idiot. (damage:2) You catch yourself and only get a bruise on your elbow. The zombies have started to leave the engine room, and there are three standing in the cage room staring vacantly at you.

There didn't seem to be much choice in the matter. "OK, fine, what am I supposed to get and where do I go to get it?" Ax asked with a resigned sigh. I guess a guild license might be a handy thing to have anyway. Might as well make the best of it... like I always do... How do I always end up in these situations...?
Naktinna says, "It'll be an easy job for a great thief like yourself. All you need to do is go into the headquarters of FrobozzCo and steal the Earrings of Kraken Seduction for my coll-" "Really? Kraken Seduction?" the half-dragon interrupts, in a gravelly voice. "What could you possibly want those for? Have you been reading those... 'Books' from the Vaguely Japanese Nation again?" She glares at him. "Shut up. As I was saying, you need to break into FrobozzCo headquarters and steal the earrings for my collection. They're in a locked safe in the CEO's office at the top of the building. The CEO is very paranoid, so you should expect traps. Lots of traps. Have fun! Meet us at the Devil's Hand tavern when you're finished." The half-dragon shoves you forwards, and the two of them disappear. Why Kraken Seduction?

Do a flying roundhouse kick to the vampire thats chanting.

Im feeling pretty badass right now.
No! No spell for you! (5+1(The hands' bonus only applies to your hands)) (dodge:3+1) You fly at him, and hit him hard in the (BP:6) neck. With your foot. (damage:1+1+1(neck shot)) And he is unfazed. You did disrupt his chanting though. (1) Because he finished casting the spell. (spellresist:5) You feel a presence in your mind, but you shake it off and (4) punch the mage bastard in the face, knocking him out. (6+1) You hear a noise behind you, and turn around as one of the other two leaps at you with a pair of daggers! (dodge:4) You get scratched in the (BP:5, 5) lower (robot) sword arm  by the dagger, and (damage:5-1('tis but a scratch!)-1(metal arms)) start bleeding a little. (6) Apparently, he forgot to poison his dagger. The two vampire assassins are now on either side of you, probably preparing to charge.

"Your reign ends here, foul one. Prepare to be disarmed!

... Speakers? I didn't know skeletons could find work as electricians."


Nirur enters the room and then turns undead doubtlessly lying in wait.
You go into the round room, and (3) see a pair of zombies. They lurch towards you, doubtless thirsty for your blood. You raise your Generic Holy Symbol aloft, and (5+1) blow them up with pure holy force. This room looks like a... Circus tent? There is a slight pause in the music as the lich shifts to a new instrument. A carnival organ. The door you came in through slams closed, and the lich says over the loudspeakers, "Little hero, do you like the circus? All of the strongmen, and elephants, and clowns, and the cotton candy, and the prizes, and the beautiful music! Such a lovely place. I'm afraid you might not like this circus very much though..." (1) The music switches to a popular tune from your youth, "The Elephants are Coming to Town". The floor starts to shake, and a curtain opens. Oh gods. There are three of them. A mother, a father, and a little baby zombie elephant. And they're angry. (3 vs 2) Nirur stays in control of the body, ready to pulverize these pachyderms.

OH GOD THIS HURTS! FRED OPEN FIRE! SAM BLAST'IM! STAB HIM WITH THE BORING DAGGER.
Fred's still outside somewhere. But you draw the dagger with one of your other three hands, and attack the beast with SAM. (3, 3) (dodge:3, 3) You hit the monster with both of your mighty weapons! (damage:5, 4+1) The foul abomination is slain! You are standing in a study. Books of magic line the walls, and a staff sits on a desk. There's a wall of really sharp weapons with no magical aura. None at all. Which is unusual. These must be very sharp. (Think Carrot's sword from Discworld). There's a staircase going up.

Son of a bitch.

INITIATE ROCKET POWERED LIFE BANNING

Better plan.

Attempt to call upon the almighty benevolent mechanical immortal-God-Emperor LS-01. Watch him roast toadmen with electric beams and plasma.

He's the green-eyed fellow in my avatar.
You pray to the god-emperor LS-01! (2) And nothing happens. (1) The Slaadi are too bemused by your praying to attack. (sorry for shortness of turn, Schilcote, but nothing exciting happened.)


Statuses:







Allies:
Spoiler: Iali Boltcut (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Fred (click to show/hide)

Vehicles:
Spoiler: Flying House "Emet" (click to show/hide)

Vortices Found:             Stones Activated:
Plane of Death  √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √
Mechanus √
Celestia √                              √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √


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Schilcote

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REPEAT LAST ACTION

And LS-01 is not summoned by prayer. He's summoned by Deus Ex Machina.

If he doesn't show, planejump or rocket away
« Last Edit: May 13, 2011, 07:41:28 pm by Schilcote »
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WHY DID YOU HAVE ME KICK THEM WTF I DID NOT WANT TO BE SHOT AT.
I dunno, you guys have survived Thomas the tank engine, golems, zombies, nuclear explosions, laser whales, and being on the same team as ragnarock.  I don't think something as tame as a world ending rain of lava will even slow you guys down.

choobakka

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Dude. They're some big clawed frogmen. Your -1 doesn't affect you until you beat them or flee, at which point you can heal yourself easily. Your hammer has life-banning properties. YOU CAN CRUSH THEM.
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