Sorry for the late turn. Didn't notice ggamer had posted.
"fookin ritards dravin tha ship, Ah say."
Use grappling hook to go up another level
Damn zombies. Best just to get out of here. Now where's that ladder... (2) You swing around your grappling hook, but you don't find the ladder. (6) At least those zombies aren't attacking you anymore... That's a good thing, right? (6) Hey! The lights came on! And all of the zombies are gone... Even the ones you cut into tiny pieces... That's odd. The room you're in has empty cages built into the walls. There are no portholes. There's a ladder up into the hold and two doors on either end of the room, on the fore and aft (front and back) sides. (2) The boat rocks, like it's been hit with a cannonball! No water is rushing in, so the hull must be fine.
Ax rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Like I want to meet up with my gods-damned dad. I wouldn't even BE here if I didn't have something important to do." He glared at the female Tiefling. "Besides, isn't it hypocritical for you to be calling me out on being a Tiefling?" He held up his left hand and moved it in an imitation of a mouth, mirroring his right hand. "Oh hi Mrs. Pot, my name's Kettle, so good to meet you. Say, aren't you awfully black? There, that funny enough for this guy or what?" he asked. "Anyway, if you mean the one idiot who jumped me in the alley, it was his own damn fault. I wasn't necessarily out to kill him but if one of us was going to have to die it wasn't going to be me, that's for damn sure."
He sighed. "That guy claimed he was the best of your guild... and you know I killed him. So, if I felt inclined to try... what's to stop me from taking that knife away from you and cutting off your ears and sticking them up your nose?" he asked the man behind him, going for the intimidation route.
(1+1-1(He's got a knife to your throat.)) He's not impressed. He grabs you around the chest with a lizard-like hand, and his talons scratch you enough to draw blood. Guess that isn't a knife at your throat after all. The woman says, "Maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Naktinna. Thieves' guild boss here. There's one in all big cities in the planes. We stay away from the material, because they tend to have less crime-friendly governments there. Xanthrak there is a half-dragon. So don't piss him off any more than you already have. Now, we're gonna make a little deal. You're gonna acquire an item for us, and we'll give you a guild license -
after the job is done, of course. Are you gonna pay up, or are you gonna bleed out right here?"
SAM. GOGOGOGOGOGO
You draw SAM from his holster/sheath/thingy and fire(?) at the insect. (3) (dodge:1-1(back turned)) It hits the beetle on its (BP:5)
sword arm right set of legs, and (damage:1+1) does nothing except make it mad. It turns around, and - OH GOD WHY DOES IT HAVE A FACE! It snarls at you, revealing some
very sharp teeth, and says, lisping slightly due to the pincers (which also protrude from its mouth), "You dare to attack one of the shistersh? You will die for this insholenshe!" It flies at you, with its pincers outstretched, and (3) (dodge:1) impales you in the (BP:[damn you Riccto making me use a d8!]5) bottom left arm! (damage:4) The arm is hit pretty badly!
Falcon punch the rest of the vampires.
FALCON PUNCH! (3+2, 5+2, 4+2, 2+2) (dodge:2+1, 5+1, 5+1, 3+1) You charge at a group of vampires! You hit one, bash one solidly (+1 damage), and nick two more (-1 damage). (damage:3+2, 2+3, 4+1, 2+1) Three go down, but one takes the punch easily. He (or she, hard to tell with that mask) takes a stab at you with some dagger he had up his sleeve. (1) And misses. Horribly. He stabs another vampire who was sneaking up on you in the chest. That dagger appears to have been made of wood, since the other vamp bursts into flames and quickly crumbles to ash. (1) Your sleeve catches on fire. (damage:1) It doesn't hurt you, (3) and you put it out. Stabby McStake is looking in horror at his friend, and you smack him in the head to knock him out. There are two more vampires advancing on you slowly, as well as one who's waving his hands in fancy gestures while chanting.
GO DOWN. ACTIVATE STONE. WIN GAME, I GUESS.
What do we do after this?
You deactivate your jets, and start to fall. (3) You crash kind of heavily into the mountain, but are unharmed. You landed a little bit down the mountain from the short building with the glowing windows that probably houses the stone, so you start to walk up. (2) And then a pair of large, lizard-like creatures jumps out. They look like large bipedal red frogs, and they appear to be guarding the peak. With those big claws. (6) Hey, you know what these are! They're Slaadi! Humanoid creatures native to Limbo, the plane of chaos! Which is on the exact other side of the multiverse from Mechanus, the plane of pure order. There is no reason they would be here. Charging at you. (5, 4) (dodge:6,3) You easily sidestep one of them, but the other one hits you in the (BP:2) chest with its claws. (damage:6) And cuts you nearly in half. You are missing a lot of metal from your right side. -1 to rolls after this fight until you fix yourself up. You turn around and see the Slaadi glaring at you. One grins, showing very sharp teeth. It says, "
N'khaaav rak!NkkreShe'l Haaakderr!sski'll!lii." The other, slightly taller on replies, "
Vreek!ggDaarkamm!ithk cH'kllee!zz't Hoobr!d! Nkka!"
What?
...
Nirur ... succeeded?
Admirably.
Huh.
"Don't you even have the use of my brain, moron? They weren't even attacking yo- me. The lich probably sent them out to greet us, now we'll have to do things the hard way. The stone's probably well-guarded in the dungeon."
Torir looks for a poorly defended back entrance to the castle.
Not all evil rulers have read those "100 mistakes most BBEGs make", have they? There must be a back entrance! (4) And indeed there is. The music is louder over here, and it fills you with a sense of mild fear. (5) Hey! It's unlocked, too! This is great! You push open the door and walk in. You are standing in a narrow hallway. The door slams shut behind you, and you hear a click as it locks. A voice booms through the speakers, "It seems you have fallen into my trap, hero. The Maze of Terror is the only way through to my lair. Nobody has ever triumphed over the undead guards, and their bodies have been used to strengthen the defenses. Now, learn why you do not cross the Lich-king of the Plane of Death! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Wow. Someone's got issues. The hall goes straight ahead into a small round room. (6 vs 2) Nirur takes over the body and prepares to get through this fiendish maze.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-ReadMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses)
Spells:
Spined Hands,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Black Leather Armor,
Magic Ring, 75 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifebane,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops)
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Health: Fine
Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people. Permanantly disguised as a beautiful woman.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations:
Rhinocerous Skin,
Claw HandsAbilities:
Alcoholism,
Brawler,
Material Plane Denizen,
Curse of BeautyInventory:
Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles,
Gloves,
Dress Cursed Brass Knuckles,
Bionic ArmsThis character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy PilotInventory:
Good Rapier,
Grappling Hook,
Pirate Outfit,
Magic Coin Necklace,
Paralyzing Poison (3 uses), Hand Cannon (no powder), 20 gp
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
12 corrosive gas shells, 25 normal cannonballs
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √
Mechanus √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √