Behind fourth wall Pirate Gibberish mode
OFF
Fuck. Stab all of those zombies. or just one.
It's time to slay undead! (6) You lash out in the dark with your sword and (dodge:3, 5, 3) Smack two and hit one a glancing blow (-1 damage) (BP:3, 1, 6) You hit one in the left leg, cut at one's head (+1 damage), and sliced the last one hard in the neck (+1 damage) (damage:6, 1-1+1, 2+1) You cut the first one in half, taking it out of the battle, barely grazed the head of another, and slashed at the neck of the third. (4) It sounds like they might be moving away from you. (3) You still can't see or find the ladder. The ship tilts, and it seems like it's turning hard to the left (port, in piratey terms).
Climb back up and look for any nearby garlic.
Damn. Vampires. And they're wearing those costumes, so you can't rely on the sun. Maybe garlic? There must be a kitchen here somewhere. (2) Damn. The dojo's kitchen must be on a lower floor. All that's here are bedrooms (1) and a little church! There must be some holy symbols in there! But there aren't. There are vampires. Sleeping upside down on the ceiling. (1) And you woke them
all. Most of them just fall down to prepare to attack, but one flies at your face. (2) (dodge:5) You step out of the way of his kick and (1) he smashes into a wall and stops moving. (4) The vampires look a little awed by your skills.
I hear ya. It takes about an hour for me to run a CvRTD turn and 30-45 minutes for Roll to Alter Someone's Life, which is significantly easier than the CvRTD. >.>
"Jesters, huh?" Ax sighed. It's those stupid honky noses. Who in the hells ever thought that was a good idea!? Clowns didn't frighten him... they just greatly annoyed him... and greatly annoyed might be an understatement. He took a deep breath through his nose and released it the same way, then looked around for the tavern. Hmm, how should I approach this idiot? Maybe I'll just walk up and honk him on his stupid little red nose and let him know I mean business here.
Where's that tavern... the Fallen Angel? Real imaginative guys. (1) You can't find it. You seem to have gotten lost and ended up in an alley. You hear footsteps behind you and as you turn around a knife goes to your throat. You feel some horns brush the back of your head, and a female voice says "Well, if it isn't a Tiefling. Here to beg a favor from mommy or daddy? Well they won't help. They never helped any of us. And they didn't help Dranvras when you gutted him in the Nexus." Oh. That one thieves' guild guy. The knife stays at your throat, and the woman who was speaking moves around in front of you. She is a few inches shorter than you, and has blue-gray skin and orange eyes. Her horns stick out from the side of her head and curl upwards, like a bull's. She is obviously another Tiefling. "Any funny business and Xantrak will cut your head off. So don't try it," she snarls at you. "Now, who sent you to kill our man? Was it the cops? The Court? Who?"
I do like to STUDY.so its off to the STUDY.
Up the stairs! (2) The study is very nicely furnished, and there are walls full of bookshelves. There is also a beetle the length of your leg, with pincers as long as your arm. So there's where his abominations went off to! (4) It doesn't look like it's seen you, and it's turned away from you, apparently chewing on a large tome. (1) A spell discharges from the book as it eats, and it grows to be the size of a grown orc, with pincers as long as a halfling. Oh crap. (4) Still hasn't noticed you at least. It's too buried in its food.
Nirur attacks the undead with his sword of undead slaying, ignoring Torir's complaints about needing to ingratiate themselves with the lich.
It's smiting time! You rush at the skeletons with your sword drawn. (3+1) (dodge:3) You smite the nearest skeleton with your sword, hitting it right in the (BP:6) neck (damage+1) (damage:4+2) Its head flies off in an arc, (5) smacking another skeleton (5) and snapping its spine, causing it to fall to the ground. (4+1) You rush at the last skeleton, and (dodge:4) hit it in the (BP:5) sword arm
, (damage:3+1) cutting it off. (4) The monster swings at you with its left arm, (dodge:5) but you duck and (5) swipe up through its body, cutting it in two. (6) No more monsters are coming out of the castle, and the organ music is nearly inaudible. (2 vs 6) Torir takes control of the body with a burst of will power.
FLY TO STONE. WIN.
Using a very direct approach, you fly straight at the stone. (5) And make it more than halfway there. (6) Without seeing a single monster. Gravity has shifted so that the stone's mountain is directly "below" you, so you could probably just fall there if you used your jets right.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-ReadMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses)
Spells:
Spined Hands,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Black Leather Armor,
Magic Ring, 75 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifebane,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops)
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Health: Fine
Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people. Permanantly disguised as a beautiful woman.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations:
Rhinocerous Skin,
Claw HandsAbilities:
Alcoholism,
Brawler,
Material Plane Denizen,
Curse of BeautyInventory:
Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles,
Gloves,
Dress Cursed Brass Knuckles,
Bionic ArmsThis character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy PilotInventory:
Good Rapier,
Grappling Hook,
Pirate Outfit,
Magic Coin Necklace,
Paralyzing Poison (3 uses), Hand Cannon (no powder), 20 gp
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
12 corrosive gas shells, 25 normal cannonballs
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √
Mechanus √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √
Author
Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun. (Read 89765 times)