[...]Why be friends with me when you could be friends with someone not-fucked-up.
It's not that I need someone else to take responsibility for me. It's that I'm lonely. I wish that there was somebody other than me who cared about my getting better.
Maybe I do need to make a pact with myself to never talk about this stuff with anyone other than my therapist. I'd probably fuck myself up a lot less often.
Well, I'll probably come down soon enough, and this post will sound just crazy.
No. :I Friends aren't pre-defined by the problem-status of others. The purpose of friends are to be with each other no matter how f*'d up they are. In which I can totally relate with you up there because the exact thing is happening to me .-. Being a friend to yourself to contact your friends who may-not-really-know-of-your-condition right now helps, as I learned the hard way.
But people do care about you no matter who or where you are :O Just contacting em to give a heads-up helps a ton! (I don't know how to ask 'How're you doing' and my friends do that to me every time we can possibly meet.
).
Maybe keeping it confidential with your therapist (since confidentiality is the thing
) will help--but voicing out your woes with friends or a safe place
also helps. Voicing things out lets your mind travel along those thoughts, and while it gets you focused on them at the time of typing and thinking, it also lessens your burden of keeping it all 'bottled up'.
Ya ain't crazy, and your post ain't crazy! I: It's the voicing out of what bothers oneself there.
And if that's crazy, then I'm crazy. :I (But yeah. You're not saying your friend-value is low; them's are not-really-good thoughts saying that. It just sounds like you're saying that because it's in the mind :O and that's where external+internal experiences get processed together.)
...I wish I had friends like that years ago.
this country is getting too damn scary.
Kal is in Canada. Not in America. ._. Also wondering how she's doing and if she's ok .-.