Basically my graduation from MCTI, a government trade school, in Customer Service, is kind of not worth alot. For all the jobs I trained for, there's approximately one advertised job for my city, and every city around me. Just one each.
No biggy, except I'm once again reduced to living with my disabled Mom who offers only the most perfunctory of functional support, who happens to live in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people I hate, in what is probably the most economically depressed spot in the entirety of Michigan.
And getting out requires that I get absurdly lucky, or die in a ditch trying.
And I come on here, and I see everyone else struggling with their higher education, and I feel like a dull philistine. I sometimes wonder if I could pursue higher education, I always feel that I could be really educated, and that I have the talent for it, but I've been too plagued my entire life by an abusive family, in a defeatist and servile mindset, with no emotional or any kind of support, piss poor, and the longest string of breakdowns that my teenage prospects got flushed down the drain.
I'm so scared. I always feel like I could die in my sleep everyday, and the whole world would be completely unchanged. I've done nothing noteworthy, attained no fame or infamy, left nothing behind, and would only be dragging my endless regret to hell with me.
I could also comment on the 'nice guys' and relationships thing, but then I remember that I'm so pathetic that I don't have room to even comment.