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[MaximumZero]

Stuck doing a midnight event at work for a game I have zero interest in and probably won't sell terribly well in my locale due to demographics, but will be a smash hit nationwide.

[Max™]

Just found our porch spider, Valkyrie, fell at some point this morning and busted her abdomen open. I was able to get to her before the ants, and have her cleaned up and posed in a more dignified fashion but it's still a super bummer, didn't even get to leave an egg sac behind like Skarlett did.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

That makes me feel weird. On the one hand, the arachnophobe inside me is screaming and cheering at the same time. On the other hand, people were squicked out when I said my pet rat had died, so I feel sorry for your loss.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Noooooooo!

You are awesome!

*hugs*

invokes TBF for more hugs

Besides, there's no way you're as awful a person as I am. You have an awful mother, I have a great one that I push to the edge of insanity myself. That means I have to be worst. Plus I have zero responsibility and am only getting A's because of my innate intelligence, not any sort of effort or anything.

...great, now I feel awful. Not your fault, obviously, Caroline. Still - misery loves company, right?

[Max™]

I can offer sympathies but I'm not sure how to respond to an awful mother instead of a wifebeating father, take a cue from spiders and ride around on her back before eating her maybe? No, that wouldn't work, you're probably too large to ride around like that...

That makes me feel weird. On the one hand, the arachnophobe inside me is screaming and cheering at the same time. On the other hand, people were squicked out when I said my pet rat had died, so I feel sorry for your loss.

Rats are adorable little buddies, and I am totally sorry to hear about that too. There isn't much that actually triggers a "yeeuch" reaction from me besides cockroaches after having a house get infested due to someone bringing over a large soup pot and lid for something, opening it, and kinda chuckling when a couple of little roaches came out. "Ha ha, whoops." Yeah, whoops, thanks a lot. I still freak out if I see a little black dot on food that I didn't expect to be there. We got rid of the fuckers finally but yeah, those'll trigger the "fuck it, pass me the flamethrower" response in me.

I was able to get her in an improvised mount so it looks like she's just walking around instead of curled up in an undignified and permanent cringe, arachnophobes look elsewhere: http://imgur.com/gallery/74b5Z but if you are interested in perhaps looking at our little spiderbros differently there are links to the various albums I had of Val and our porch spiders last year.

Mother-in-law was bummed out for me, and herself I think, as she's gotten used to having a spider there in the summer now, but these things happen. It's the main reason I was always excited and nervous when I needed to relocate her web. Rather than have it get walked into accidentally I just used a great big rake to scoop it up so the center remains taut and she doesn't freak out, then I can set the rake down flat and encourage her to scoot off the side and just let her walk up onto my hand for pictures and such.

It's really fun handling them, you can feel them tiptoe around and wobble a bit like a little old lady with a walker. Just like all little old ladies these gals like to hang out on the porch, weave, and eat flies. Though of course you have to be careful when picking them up, not because they'll bite you, well, some little old ladies might, but the spiders wouldn't... no, you have to be careful to not let them fall, and this morning is why.

Glad she didn't fall from me handling her, but man that sucks.

[hops]

[]

[BlackHeartKabal]

I don't deserve anything.

You don't deserve to be hurt, you don't deserve to be mistreated, you don't deserve to be abused, you don't deserve to be anxious, you don't deserve to be depressed, and you certainly don't deserve to be hurt. I really just wish I could offer something that'd help you out, but you have my sympathies. The opportunity to escape it all will eventually come up. Just withstand until it comes.

[NRDL]

@Caroline, please believe that people see value in you.  Nobody deserves to be treated like that, you are just as good and important as anyone else.  Your mother is wrong. 

I really really really hope you're circumstances change for the better.  Until then, please remember that there are people who think you're great, and worthwhile.

[Spehss _]

I hate my life. I can think of multiple reasons why. Some of these reasons I could actually change or improve, if I worked at it.

But I don't. I should start, and I want to start, but I haven't. And I tell myself I'll start tomorrow. I've had moments like this in the past. But I don't start.

I think that's the biggest thing that saddens me about my life. I want to improve, I can clearly see there's issues and problems that I need to change or improve, but I don't really make any effort to start, or keep going.

And now I stayed up past midnight looking at pointless internet shit again. Another thing I try to improve on and regularly fail at. My sleep schedule is complete garbage.

[chaotic skies]

@Caroline:
I can't say I know how to help, or that I can help. I don't know. But I do know one thing. There's only one person like you, and that's you. You're awesome. You're a lot more responsible and kind and important than you see. You're not a failure; it sounds like you're being held to a standard of absolute perfection. If you manage to meet that standard at all, or even get close, you're so far from a failure that I'm not even sure what to say. And, you're wrong when you say you don't deserve anything; you deserve better, but right now you're being held back from getting that. There's nothing wrong with you; showing emotion isn't a sign of weakness, trust me when I say it takes more strength to share your emotions that to hide them. You're not an idiot; you seem incredibly intelligent.

I know I'm just some random person on the internet, and I can't know everything about what's going on; I'll never know 1% of what's going on in your life. But...if you smiled at all, or even felt the tiniest bit better from anything I've ever said...then maybe one day all the little bits of happiness and feeling better will eventually add up until you don't remember what it's like to have to worry so much, because you've been so happy for so long.

[NRDL]

I hate my life. I can think of multiple reasons why. Some of these reasons I could actually change or improve, if I worked at it.

But I don't. I should start, and I want to start, but I haven't. And I tell myself I'll start tomorrow. I've had moments like this in the past. But I don't start.

I think that's the biggest thing that saddens me about my life. I want to improve, I can clearly see there's issues and problems that I need to change or improve, but I don't really make any effort to start, or keep going.

And now I stayed up past midnight looking at pointless internet shit again. Another thing I try to improve on and regularly fail at. My sleep schedule is complete garbage.

Hey, you're admitting and getting through to the core of the problem.  That's a step forward.  Doesn't matter how many times one backslides, simply desiring to move forward is a step in the right direction. 

For slightly more practical advice, don't make the problem entirely your own.  Find people in your life who care, and there more likely than not are people, and ask for help.  It's so much harder to change when you have to do it on your own, and being accountable to others and relying on them for whatever support is needed can make all the difference.

[TheBiggerFish]

@Caroline:
*hugs*

I don't deserve anything.

You don't deserve to be hurt, you don't deserve to be mistreated, you don't deserve to be abused, you don't deserve to be anxious, you don't deserve to be depressed, and you certainly don't deserve to be hurt. I really just wish I could offer something that'd help you out, but you have my sympathies. The opportunity to escape it all will eventually come up. Just withstand until it comes.

I'll write you a PM, but I will tell you now, your mother is completely and utterly wrong about you.

@Caroline:
I can't say I know how to help, or that I can help. I don't know. But I do know one thing. There's only one person like you, and that's you. You're awesome. You're a lot more responsible and kind and important than you see. You're not a failure; it sounds like you're being held to a standard of absolute perfection. If you manage to meet that standard at all, or even get close, you're so far from a failure that I'm not even sure what to say. And, you're wrong when you say you don't deserve anything; you deserve better, but right now you're being held back from getting that. There's nothing wrong with you; showing emotion isn't a sign of weakness, trust me when I say it takes more strength to share your emotions that to hide them. You're not an idiot; you seem incredibly intelligent.

I know I'm just some random person on the internet, and I can't know everything about what's going on; I'll never know 1% of what's going on in your life. But...if you smiled at all, or even felt the tiniest bit better from anything I've ever said...then maybe one day all the little bits of happiness and feeling better will eventually add up until you don't remember what it's like to have to worry so much, because you've been so happy for so long.

...I want to say: This, too.

@Cinder:*hugs, just in case*

@Spehss_:Make a schedule and stick to it.

[Yoink]

I'm incredibly hungry and sitting in front of the TV.
These food ads are killing me.

[sprinkled chariot]

I want to play some lovecraftian horror tabletop gaems
But I dont know any people, who will not go WOOO NEEEEEERDDDD, when they would hear tabletop gaems. 

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

Start a forum game, if you can.