THE VOICES SEEM TO AGREE THAT THE CROSSBOW IS BY FAR THE BEST ITEM OUT OF THE REMAINING LOOT, SO YOU GRAB IT AND IGNORE THE STARES OF THE OTHER RECRUITS WHO ALMOST CERTAINLY COVET YOUR SELECTION. YOU'RE NOT A CROSSBOW CONNOISSEUR, BUT YOU THINK THE HEFT IS NICE IN CASE YOU SHOULD EVER NEED TO BASH SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WITH IT GIVEN THAT YOU'RE UNLIKELY TO FIND BOLTS FOR IT IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS. CHICKEN MILITIAHEN CLUCK-SQUAWK-CLUCK IS NEXT AND EYES THE CROSSBOW AND DAGGER, CLEARLY HER TOP CHOICES. SHE ULTIMATELY CLAIMS THE BANDIT LEADER'S WONDROUS CAPE.
RECRUIT BAWK-CLUCK IS GRABBING ONE OF THE DELIGHTFUL FACEMASKS WHEN YOU ARE INTERRUPTED BY A VISION OF YOURSELF IN AN ENDLESS POOL OF SILVERY WATER WHICH YOU RECOGNIZE TO BE MANANNAN. MANANNAN SPEAKS, AND YOU GATHER THAT MANANNAN IS ENCOURAGING YOU TO FORM A HOLY ORDER OF THE 501(C)(3) NONPROFIT PERSUASION (PERHAPS CALLED THE HOLY EXALTED ORDER OF THE KNIGHTS OF MANANNAN AND OTHERS) TO HOLD THE WARBAND'S MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. YOU ARE SWAYED BY THE PROJECTED INCREASE IN EFFICIENCY AND HONORED THAT MANANNAN HIMSELF IS ENCOURAGING YOU TO POSSIBLY BROADEN YOUR SKILLSET BY TAKING ON THE DUTIES OF THE TREASURER.
WHEN YOU COME TO YOUR SENSES, IT IS EVIDENTLY DOODLE-CROW'S TURN AGAIN, AND HE APPEARS TO BE TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN A MASK AND THE WATERSKIN. URGED ON BY A COUPLE OF YOUR VOICES (ONE OF WHICH IS GRANDMOTHERLY ENOUGH TO POSSIBLY BE MAVNON), YOU LOUDLY SUMMARIZE YOUR DIVINE REVELATION AND EMPHASIZE THE PROJECTED INCREASE IN KNIGHTLY PIETY, RENOWN, AND MEDALS. THE PROMISE OF SHINY MEDALS IS ENOUGH TO GET EVERYONE'S APPROVAL FOR THE PLAN (ALTHOUGH DOODLE-CROW IS SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR MOTIVES AND REFUSES TO HAND THE DAGGER OVER FOR INSPECTION). YOU APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SUBVERSION OF HIS ORDERS IN THE RECENT FIGHT, AND DOODLE-CROW LETS YOU AT LEAST LOOK AT THE DAGGER. DISAPPOINTINGLY, THE DAGGER DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE A HOLY RELIC OF MANANNAN OR ONE OF THE OTHER CHICKEN GODS. PERHAPS FOUNDING A PROPER 501(C)(3) NONPROFIT HOLY ORDER NECESSITATES THE HASSLE OF PAPERWORK AFTER ALL. YOU LOOK BACK AT THE LOOTPILE AND ARE ANNOYED TO FIND THE CAPE ALREADY CLAIMED, SO YOU TAKE THE LARGE MAMMAL DRESS, TEAR OFF A SOMEWHAT UNDAMAGED SECTION, AND FASHION IT INTO A CRUDE MAKESHIFT CAPE. IT IS MORE FRILLY AND LESS DRAMATIC THAN YOU WOULD HAVE PREFERRED.
NEXT, YOU SCRUTINIZE YOUR WOODEN WAR HORSE AND ARE SURE IT'S ALIVE OR YOU SURELY WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HERE WITHOUT FALLING OFF OR SOMETHING. YOU SNAP THE HORSE'S JAW A FEW TIMES USING THE HANDY STRING ATTACHED TO IT AND FIND IT TO BE IN GOOD WORKING ORDER. YOU ALSO TRY FEEDING IT SOME CLOVER WHILE COAXING IT WITH THE STRING, BUT IT JUST FOLDS THE CLOVER AND TEARS IT UP A BIT BEFORE DROPPING IT WITHOUT THE COURTESY OF EVEN SPITTING IT OUT.
YOU ALSO CLOSELY EXAMINE YOUR RIGHTEOUS FURY. TO HAVE SUCH A WEAPON IS TRULY THE REWARD OF A KNIGHT WITH A PASSING GRADE IN KNIGHTLY THEOLOGY. ONLY ONE OTHER IN YOUR CLASS COULD CLAIM SUCH AN HONOR. IT'S A BIT OF A SHAME YOU TWO ARE BITTER RIVALS NOW. SOMETIMES YOU WONDER HOW SUCH A NINCOMPOOP COULD HAVE POSSIBLY PASSED KNIGHTLY THEOLOGY AND THUS WON THE RIGHT TO WIELD RIGHTEOUS FURY. ANYWAY, YOU'LL PREVAIL ONE DAY WHETHER ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE OR IN A HEATED DEBATE, AND YOU'LL SHOW THEM ALL! AND EVERYONE WILL FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT OR YOUR NAME ISN'T AWWWK AWK AWWWK AWK AWK B-KAWK (WHICH TRANSLATES TO PIOUS AURA ALONE IN THE CHICKEN TONGUE)!
AT THE URGING OF ONE OF YOUR VOICES, YOU TRY TO REMEMBER WHO YOU WOKE UP NEXT TO THE OTHER DAY, BUT WHAT HAPPENS IN ROADSIDE CART WRECKS STAYS IN ROADSIDE CART WRECKS DESPITE YOUR BEST EFFORTS. ON A WHIM, YOU UNILATERALLY DECIDE IT MUST HAVE BEEN DOODLE-CROW OR CLUCK-SQUAWK-CLUCK OR MAYBE EVEN BOTH OF THEM.
YOU CHECK ON THE PHEASANT BANDIT TO RECRUIT OR EXECUTE HIM ONLY TO FIND HIM STILL UNCONSCIOUS. HE REALLY NEEDS TO RECOVER SO YOU CAN ATTEMPT TO SWAY, ARREST, OR PUNISH HIM DIRECTLY. WITH THE REST OF THIS HILARITY TAKEN CARE OF, YOU IGNORE CAUTION AND ROOST RIGHT OVER THE PHEASANTS' HIDING SPOT WHERE YOU ATTEMPT TO EAT COMMUNEISM AND DREAM OF BEHEMOTHS PULLING PEASANTS' PLOWS OVER CITY RUINS.
IT EMERGES THAT THE UNCONSCIOUS PHEASANT, WHO NO ONE THOUGHT TO RESTRAIN, EVENTUALLY WOKE UP AND WAS PREDICTABLY UNCOOPERATIVE. HE MANAGED TO ESCAPE TO MAVNON KNOWS WHERE DURING THE NIGHT. THE EARLY BIRDS SPENT SOME TIME LOOKING AROUND FOR TRACKS BUT COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING. DOODLE-CROW COVERS HIS FACE WITH A WING IN A BIZARRE GESTURE ONE WOULD THINK WOULD MAKE LOOKING FOR LOST PERSONS MORE DIFFICULT.
YOU ALL CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY, ANOTHER THREE DAYS THAT REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN TWO WITHOUT THE BOOKS OR LOOT. AFTER AN UNEVENTFUL FEW DAYS, YOU FINALLY ARRIVE AT THE MONASTERY. THE MONKS SEEM TO BE EXPECTING YOU OR A GROUP VERY MUCH LIKE YOU AND ARE HAPPY TO TAKE THE BOOKS OFF YOUR GRUBBY FEATHERS (++KNIGHTLY PIETY, +KNIGHTLY RENOWN) AND GIVE YOU YOUR KNIGHTLY CASH (+KNIGHTLY CASH) BUT WITH A MOST WORRYING DRAWBACK FROM ONE WHO IDENTIFIES HIMSELF AS FATHER SQUAWWWWWK CLUCK:
"THANKS FOR GETTING US THE BOOKS WE ORDERED. CHICKEN GODS' BLESSINGS UPON YOU. HERE'S THE REST OF THE PAYMENT FOR THE BOOKS. ANYTHING THE BREADLAND MONASTIC LIBRARY DOESN'T KEEP YOU CAN HAVE. I'M AFRAID WE DON'T HAVE SUITABLE ACCOMMODATIONS FOR TRAVELERS, BUT YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US FOR OUR EVENING MEAL."
DOODLE-CROW IS HAPPY THAT THE PARTY RECEIVED KNIGHTLY PIETY AND KNIGHTLY RENOWN AND A FREE MEAL BUT IS RATHER CROSS ABOUT NOT HAVING RECEIVED MUCH KNIGHTLY CASH FOR THE TROUBLE AND TIME. HE ANNOUNCES THAT HE'LL BE EXPLORING THE MONASTERY UNTIL THE EVENING MEAL IN CASE ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN IN. WITH A SMALL LIBRARY, A LUSH GARDEN, A WELL-FURNISHED CHAPEL, AND A BABBLING BROOK, THOUGH, THIS ISN'T THE ONLY POSSIBLE USE OF YOUR TIME.
AS YOU DISPERSE TO DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU INTEND TO DO, ONE OF THE YOUNGER MONKS TAKES YOU ASIDE TO OFFER A DIFFERENT KIND OF BOON:
"I notice you didn't get much for your trouble from Father SQUAWWWWWK CLUCK. He means well, but he doesn't understand the value of money for laychickens. I also notice that you look like a chicken constantly bothered by...inner dialogue. I can bless you with the Lesser Clarity of Elmedo to quell THE CONSTANT SHOUTING, but this may make the laws of nature and the fine details of the world harder to ignore. Would you like me to perform the blessing?"
BLESSING? YOU ARE NOT SURE THE VOICES WILL BE VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
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Topic: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG] (Read 25632 times)