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Author Topic: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]  (Read 25629 times)

King Zultan

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #90 on: August 22, 2020, 02:53:00 am »

WE DON'T NEED EQUIPMENT AS WE ARE FILLED WITH A RIGHTEOUS FURY!
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Kilojoule Proton

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #91 on: August 22, 2020, 05:22:11 am »

Quote
HAVE OUR PEOPLE THROW SOME ROCKS AT THEM UNTIL THEY GET TO CLOSE, THEN ONCE THEY GET CLOSE TO OUR GUYS WE KILL THEM WITH OUR WEAPONS.
YES, ALSO REMEMBER TO GUARD THE LEADER! HIS SAFETY IS PARAMOUNT SINCE IF HE DIES THEY'LL PROBABLY MAKE US LEAD AGAIN.
charge at them and peck them
INSIST THAT THIS IS NOT A FAIR FIGHT AS THEY DO NOT HAVE METAL ARMOR. OFFER TO FIGHT THEM LATER WHEN THEY ARE BETTER EQUIPPED.
BACK AWAY FROM THE BOOKS AND TELL THEM THEY CAN HAVE THE LOOT.  THEN WHEN THEY HAVE PICKED UP THE BURDENSOME PAMPHLETS WE CAN PULVERIZE THE PLEASANT PEASANT PHEASANTS.  NO ONE COULD FIGHT EQUIPPED WITH SUCH TROUBLESOME TOMES!
WHAT'S OUR EQUIPMENT LIKE? HOW ABOUT THE EQUIPMENT OF OUR CHICKEN SQUIRES?

YOU REEL IN CONFUSION AND DREAD AS YOUR VOICES INTERRUPT TO DISPENSE THEIR SAGE ADVICE ALL AT ONCE. THEY SEEM TO BE DRAWN TO THIS BATTLE IN PARTICULAR, PERHAPS THE FIRST INTERESTING EVENT SINCE YOU FIRST STOOD AT THE EDGE OF YOUR HOMETOWN ONLY A FEW DAYS AGO. YOU STAGGER FORWARD AND TRY TO APPEASE THEM IN THIS FIGHT FOR MONEY AND/OR LIVES EVEN AS THEY CONTINUE TALKING AT CROSS PURPOSES.

YOU CALL FOR A VOLLEY OF ROCKS BEFORE REMEMBERING THAT YOU CEDED YOUR LEADERLY POSITION TO DOODLE-CROW. DOODLE-CROW SEEMS SLIGHTLY HURT AT THIS NOMINAL INSUBORDINATION, BUT TWO OF THE RECRUITS FOLLOW THROUGH REGARDLESS AND FLING ROCKS AT THE BANDITS. OH WELL. YOU GUARD DOODLE-CROW TO MAKE UP FOR IT...

...AND ARE SUDDENLY SEIZED WITH THE URGE TO CHARGE AT AND PECK THE PHEASANTS. LOWERING YOUR SHINY VISOR, YOU BOLDLY RUN FOR THE PHEASANTS AND PECK AT THEM, SCATTERING THEM! THE REST OF YOUR PARTY FOLLOWS YOUR LEAD IN PECKING THE BANDITS, ALBEIT WITH GREATLY REDUCED EFFECTIVENESS ON ACCOUNT OF NOT HAVING SUITABLE HELMS. PREDICTABLY, YOUR MOTIVATION TAKES A HARD SWING AND YOU FIND YOURSELF RETREATING AND CONCEDING THE BOOKS TO THE PHEASANTS, WHO SHOW NO INTEREST IN THEM WHATSOEVER.

IT IS AT THIS TIME YOU INEXPLICABLY DECIDE TO TAKE AN INVENTORY OF THE PARTY'S EQUIPMENT. CLEARLY YOUR TACTICAL RETREAT WAS AIMED AT ENABLING THIS ALL ALONG! YOU ASSESS THE AMBIENT GEAR:

Quote
Chicken Recruit Doodle-Crow: Cap, ragged shirt, chipped sword, round shield
Chicken Knight with no name: Visored bascinet, mail hauberk, leather boots, saber, RIGHTEOUS FURY, round shield, wooden war horse with festive cloth barding, decorative lance, and no name
Chicken Recruit BAWK-Cluck: Tunic, hatchet, carving knife
Unconscious Pheasant Bandit 1: Mask, large mammal dress (dirty), rusty shortsword, money pouch
Chicken Recruit Cluck-Squawk-Cluck: Cap, tunic, club, rocks
Chicken Recruit Bawk-Bawk-BAWK: Ragged shirt, bent shortsword, rocks

Dead Pheasant Bandit Leader: Cap, mask, expensive shirt, cape, bent shortsword, money bag, hardtack
Dead Pheasant Bandit 2: Mask, torn tunic, ornate dagger, unloaded crossbow, money pouch, fermented-smelling waterskin

HUH. IT APPEARS THE BATTLE IS OVER NOW. DOODLE-CROW CALLS A MEETING TO DISCUSS COUNTING THE MONEY AND SPLITTING THE LOOT. DOODLE-CROW TAKES THE SECOND BANDIT'S ORNATE DAGGER, WHICH LOOKS TO BE AMONG THE MORE EXPENSIVE ITEMS. IT IS NOW YOUR TURN. YOU HOPE THE VOICES WILL TRY TO REACH SOME SORT OF AGREEMENT THIS TIME SO YOU DON'T END UP GETTING STUCK WITH ONE OF THE LESS USEFUL ITEMS. IN CASE THEY'RE LISTENING, YOU ASK FOR A LIST OF THREE FAVORED CHOICES (THAT AREN'T MONEY BAGS/POUCHES) OPTIONALLY INCLUDING A REQUEST TO PASS YOUR TURN FOR A DOUBLE SHARE ON THE NEXT ROUND.

SPEAKING OF MONEY, DOODLE-CROW IS CONFIDENT THAT HIS SHARE OF THE CASH WILL BE ENOUGH TO PROMOTE HIMSELF AND RECRUIT CLUCK-SQUAWK-CLUCK TO CHICKEN MILITIA AND HAS DONE EXACTLY THAT.
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Maximum Spin

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #92 on: August 22, 2020, 05:52:45 am »

HALT ALL PROCEEDINGS AND SUGGEST THAT, INSTEAD OF DIVIDING THE LOOT, WE FORM A 501(c)(3) CORPORATION, PERHAPS CALLED THE HOLY EXALTED ORDER OF THE KNIGHTS OF MANANNAN AND OTHERS, TO HOLD OUR WORLDLY GOODS IN COMMON FOR THE COMMON BENEFIT OF THE ORDER. AS WE ARE RECENTLY FREE FROM OUR PREVIOUS LEADERSHIP DUTIES, WE WOULD BE HUMBLY HONOURED TO TAKE ON THE POSITION OF ORDER TREASURER, CHARGED WITH GUARDING AND INVESTING THE KNIGHTLY CASH. THIS VOICE ESTIMATES THAT FORMING A HOLY ORDER WOULD RESULT IN AT LEAST A 30% INCREASE IN KNIGHTLY PIETY AND KNIGHTLY RENOWN, AND WOULD ALLOW OUR KNIGHTLY CASH TO BE EXEMPTED FROM MOST TAXES SHOULD WE EVER FIND OURSELVES IN A POSITION OF PAYING TAXES. NEEDLESS TO SAY, THIS WOULD IN NO WISE PREVENT OUR EXTREMELY PIOUS AND DEBONAIR LEADER FROM EQUIPPING THE ORNATE DAGGER, WHICH IS PROBABLY A HOLY ARTEFACT, AT LEAST AS LONG AS HE REMAINS A MEMBER OF THE ORDER.

ADD THAT HOLY ORDERS ALSO GET COOL MEDALS.

IF THIS PROPOSAL DOES NOT ATTAIN APPROVAL, BEGRUDGINGLY ACCEPT THE CROSSBOW AS IT WILL ALLOW YOU TO BETTER SERVE AS THE LEADER'S BODYGUARD. THIS VOICE'S THREE CHOICES IN ORDER ARE CROSSBOW, EXPENSIVE SHIRT, BATCAPE.

WHILE WE'RE TAKING INVENTORY OF OUR RECRUITS, ALSO FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE WE HAD THAT DRUNKEN ENCOUNTER WITH FOR FUTURE ROMANCE SIDEQUEST OPTIONS.

OH, ALSO, ONE LAST THING: RECOMMEND EITHER RECRUITING THE LAST SURVIVING PHEASANT BANDIT OR SACRIFICING IT TO THE CHICKEN GODS DEPENDING ON WHETHER THE GENERAL MOOD FEELS ACCEPTING OF OR RACIST TOWARD PHEASANTS RESPECTIVELY.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2020, 05:57:03 am by Maximum Spin »
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King Zultan

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #93 on: August 22, 2020, 06:07:46 am »

+1 TO ALL OF THE ABOVE, AND MY CHOICES FOR STUFF ARE THE SAME.

ALSO EQUIP THE CAPE AS IT WILL MAKE US A BETTER KNIGHT.

IS OUR HORSE ALIVE OR IS IT JUST WOOD?
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Naturegirl1999

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #94 on: August 22, 2020, 11:33:01 am »

Crossbow, bent short sword, and water skin
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Superdorf

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #95 on: August 22, 2020, 11:36:37 am »

APOLOGIZE TO DOODLE-CROW FOR INSUBORDINATION.
INSPECT RIGHTEOUS FURY.
OUR NAME IS NOW SIR HORATIO. IN CHICKEN, THIS TRANSLATES TO: AWWWK AWK AWK AWK AWK B-KAWK. TAKE NOTE OF THIS.

CHICKEN KNIGHTS HAVE NO NEED FOR LAST NAMES.
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klonk
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Maximum Spin

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #96 on: August 22, 2020, 12:31:37 pm »

OUR NAME IS NOW SIR HORATIO. IN CHICKEN, THIS TRANSLATES TO: AWWWK AWK AWK AWK AWK B-KAWK. TAKE NOTE OF THIS.
THIS VOICE REJECTS THIS FUNDAMENTALLY. NAMES ARE FOR PEASANTS AND PHEASANTS. TRUE KNIGHTS ARE KNOWN BY PIOUS AURA ALONE.
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VoidSlayer

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #97 on: August 22, 2020, 09:41:59 pm »

OUR NAME IS NOW SIR HORATIO. IN CHICKEN, THIS TRANSLATES TO: AWWWK AWK AWK AWK AWK B-KAWK. TAKE NOTE OF THIS.
THIS VOICE REJECTS THIS FUNDAMENTALLY. NAMES ARE FOR PEASANTS AND PHEASANTS. TRUE KNIGHTS ARE KNOWN BY PIOUS AURA ALONE.

Yes let us be named PIOUS AURA ALONE translated loosely as AWWWK AWK AWWWK AWK AWK B-KAWK

For the loot:
cape
expensive shirt
Cap

Need to look dashing as a knight.

I would suggest we divide the current loot according to the current system but suggest the 501(c)(3) CORPORATION for future ventures.

Stirk

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #98 on: August 22, 2020, 09:47:53 pm »

WE HAVE LEARNED OUR NEW RECRUITS EVERYTHING WE CAN. WE CAN NOW SAFELY DEPART ON OUR ON QUEST. WITH ALL OF THE LOOT.

GRAB THE LOOT AND RUN SAGELY, KICKING OUR RECRUITS OUT OF THE NEST AND ALLOWING THEM TO LEARN TO FLY ON THEIR OWN.
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This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

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Naturegirl1999

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #99 on: August 22, 2020, 09:49:21 pm »

WE HAVE LEARNED OUR NEW RECRUITS EVERYTHING WE CAN. WE CAN NOW SAFELY DEPART ON OUR ON QUEST. WITH ALL OF THE LOOT.

GRAB THE LOOT AND RUN SAGELY, KICKING OUR RECRUITS OUT OF THE NEST AND ALLOWING THEM TO LEARN TO FLY ON THEIR OWN.
-1
We are a team. We must not betray them, it seems that only 3 of us followed our shared body’s suggestion
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Stirk

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #100 on: August 22, 2020, 09:54:57 pm »

WE HAVE LEARNED OUR NEW RECRUITS EVERYTHING WE CAN. WE CAN NOW SAFELY DEPART ON OUR ON QUEST. WITH ALL OF THE LOOT.

GRAB THE LOOT AND RUN SAGELY, KICKING OUR RECRUITS OUT OF THE NEST AND ALLOWING THEM TO LEARN TO FLY ON THEIR OWN.
-1
We are a team. We must not betray them, it seems that only 3 of us followed our shared body’s suggestion

THEY WILL NEVER GROW IF YOU KEEP CODDLING THEM LIKE THIS. WE MURDERED EVERYTHING THAT HAS TRIED TO GIVE US ADVICE BEFORE. EVEN WHEN THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.
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This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

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Superdorf

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #101 on: August 22, 2020, 10:11:42 pm »

Yes let us be named PIOUS AURA ALONE translated loosely as AWWWK AWK AWWWK AWK AWK B-KAWK

+1
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Falling angel met the rising ape, and the sound it made was

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Naturegirl1999

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #102 on: August 22, 2020, 10:43:20 pm »

WE HAVE LEARNED OUR NEW RECRUITS EVERYTHING WE CAN. WE CAN NOW SAFELY DEPART ON OUR ON QUEST. WITH ALL OF THE LOOT.

GRAB THE LOOT AND RUN SAGELY, KICKING OUR RECRUITS OUT OF THE NEST AND ALLOWING THEM TO LEARN TO FLY ON THEIR OWN.
-1
We are a team. We must not betray them, it seems that only 3 of us followed our shared body’s suggestion

THEY WILL NEVER GROW IF YOU KEEP CODDLING THEM LIKE THIS. WE MURDERED EVERYTHING THAT HAS TRIED TO GIVE US ADVICE BEFORE. EVEN WHEN THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.
We’re not coddling them, we’re distributing the loot from the pheasants we all helped to kill
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Stirk

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #103 on: August 22, 2020, 10:46:16 pm »

We’re not coddling them, we’re distributing the loot from the pheasants we all helped to kill

THAT SOUNDS LIKE COMMUNISM. COMMUNISM IS THE OPPOSITE OF PIETY, RENOWN, AND COIN.
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This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

This is my waifu, this is my gun. This one's for fighting, this ones for fun.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: CHICKEN KNIGHT [SG]
« Reply #104 on: August 22, 2020, 10:53:06 pm »

We’re not coddling them, we’re distributing the loot from the pheasants we all helped to kill

THAT SOUNDS LIKE COMMUNISM. COMMUNISM IS THE OPPOSITE OF PIETY, RENOWN, AND COIN.
We are chickens, why are you, a fellow chicken, letting human events and human political systems determine what we do and don’t do?

To the shared body:
We have seen many suggestions, I will bring them all here
Maximum Spin: Crossbow, Expensive Shirt, Cape
King Zultan: Crossbow, Expensive Shirt, Cape, equip cape upon acquisition
Me: Crossbow, Bent Shortsword, Waterskin
Voidslayer: Cape, Expensive Shirt, Cap
Given this, you should pick Crossbow, Expensive Shirt, and Cape, as it agrees with as many of us as possible. I implore you to not listen to Stirk, as he intends to betray the team we’ve created
« Last Edit: August 22, 2020, 11:03:03 pm by Naturegirl1999 »
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