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[Stirk]

In staying true to our neutral nature I say we choose the path of vengeful forgiveness and intentionally take longer than needed to wash the goats clothes, then as we put them up to dry we "accidentally" drop them in the dirt and start the whole process over again, but this time we do a really poor job.

+1 OH WAIT WE ALREADY WENT WITH THE GENOCIDE THING NEVER MIND

[VoidSlayer]

True neutral means doing terrible evil then inexplicable good at random.  Not like avoiding evil and good or whatever. Thus we should go for the abby of goodness or whatever.  Then we can get a cushy job for an evil questgiver!

[Kilojoule Proton]

D SUMMON VAST RESERVES OF WILLPOWER TO THE PURPOSE OF EATING ANNOYING FLIES NO MATTER HOW ECTOPLASMIC, THEN SETTLE IN FOR A LONG DISCUSSION WITH OUR RECRUITS ON THE SUBJECT OF MORAL PHILOSOPHY, THE RIGHTS OF GOATS, AND THE REALISTIC PROBABILITY THAT THAT OTHER GUY/CHICKEN DIED OF NORMAL CHICKEN STUPIDITY INVOLVING FIRE AND ALCOHOL (AND BUTTER FOR SOME REASON). THEN SEGUE INTO THE TOPIC OF KNIGHTLY HUMILITY AND CONVINCE WHICHEVER RECRUIT SEEMS MOST CHIVALROUS TO TAKE OVER LEADERSHIP OF THE GROUP, FREEING OURSELVES FROM THE BURDEN OF MAKING DECISIONS WHILE WE GRAPPLE INTERNALLY WITH THE QUESTION OF OUR DECAYING SANITY.

BOLSTERED BY A BURNING RAGE, YOU EVENTUALLY MANAGE TO EAT ANNOYING (BUT, CURIOUSLY ENOUGH, NOT ENCOURAGING) FLIES REGARDLESS OF THEIR CORPOREALITY. YOU SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY EXPOUNDING ON MORAL PHILOSOPHY, THE RIGHTS OF GOATS, THE LEGAL DEFINITION OF CHICKENSLAUGHTER AND/OR DEATH BY MISADVENTURE (WHICH INITIALLY DRAWS SOME SKEPTICISM), AND KNIGHTLY HUMILITY. THE DEEP INSIGHTS IMPARTED BY YOUR LONG LECTURES HAVE ENHANCED YOUR RECRUITS' ABILITIES. IT IS NOW PERMISSIBLE TO PROMOTE THEM TO CHICKEN MILITIA WHO WILL NATURALLY EXPECT A MORE SUBSTANTIAL SALARY FOR THEIR SERVICE.

AS PART OF AN OBJECT LESSON IN HUMILITY (AND NOT, FOR EXAMPLE, A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO CEDE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PARTY'S WAGES/MISADVENTURES), YOU PASS THE MANTLE OF LEADER ON TO RECRUIT  DOODLE-CROW. DOODLE-CROW DIRECTS YOUR PARTY TO THE NEARBY TOWN OF BREADLAMB FOR PROVISIONS AND ASSIGNMENTS, AND YOU ARRIVE THAT EVENING. AFTER SEVERAL ROUNDS OF HAGGLING, DOODLE-CROW ANNOUNCES THAT THE PARTY WILL BE STAYING IN THE CURRENTLY EMPTY STABLE AT A LOCAL INN FOR THE NIGHT. TIRED AFTER A LONG NIGHT OF STRUGGLING TO EAT THE ECTOPLASMIC FLIES, YOU QUICKLY FALL ASLEEP IN THE COMFY HAY.

THE NEXT DAY, AFTER A LIGHT MEAL OF FLAVORLESS GRAY GRUEL, YOU MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE MARKETPLACE. DOODLE-CROW IS DISMAYED TO FIND EVEN THE LOWER END WOODEN HORSES OUTSIDE HIS LIMITED FINANCIAL REACH. THE REST OF THE DAY IS SPENT SPLIT UP IN A SEARCH FOR JOBS. TOGETHER, YOU MANAGE TO FIND THE FOLLOWING BY THE TIME THE PARTY MEETS UP AT A BUG-AND-BREAD-TOAST:

• BRING AN ORDER OF BOTANICAL BOOKS TO A MONASTERY NEAR THE VILLAGE OF INKSWORTH
• ESCORT A MESSENGER TO EPHOR'S REST WITHOUT GETTING STOPPED
• PROVIDE PROTECTION FOR A CARAVAN HEADING FOR THE DISTANT TOWN OF CLAYLESS
• DISCREETLY REPORT ON TROOP MOVEMENTS UP TO HALF A DAY AWAY FROM BREADLAMB
• PARTICIPATE IN A MINOR TOURNAMENT HELD IN THE CASTLE OF THE EARL OF SILTMAGE
• JOIN THE LOCAL BURGHER'S MILITIA
• HELP WITH THE HARVESTS IN NEARBY FIELDS

DOODLE-CROW ASKS FOR YOUR ADVICE ON WHICH JOB WOULD BE GOOD FOR BUILDING KNIGHTLY EXPERIENCE.

[Maximum Spin]

EXPLAIN TO THE NEW LEADER THE THREE ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS OF ANY KNIGHT'S SUCCESS: KNIGHTLY PIETY, KNIGHTLY RENOWN, AND KNIGHTLY CASH. CURRENTLY WE ARE LOW ON ALL THREE. THE DUTY OF THE LEADER IS TO CHOOSE A BALANCE BETWEEN THE COMPONENTS TO BECOME AN ACCOMPLISHED KNIGHT WITHOUT FALLING INTO CORRUPTION [COUGH EMBARRASSEDLY AT THIS POINT]. SUPPLY THAT YOUR KNIGHTLY INSTINCTS INFORM YOU THAT HELPING THE MONASTERY WILL LIKELY INCREASE OUR PIETY RATING MOST, FOLLOWED PERHAPS BY HARVESTING, AND THE TOURNAMENT OUR RENOWN (PROVIDED WE DO NOT FAIL MISERABLY). TRULY, THE MOIST VOICE THINKS THE MONASTERY JOB IS LIKELY TO BEAR FRUIT, BUT THE OTHER LESSER JOBS ARE ALSO VALID CHOICES AND WE CEDED LEADERSHIP FOR A GOOD REASON SO IT MAY BE BEST TO INFORM WITHOUT FAVOURING ANY PARTICULAR CHOICE. HOWEVER WE ARE PROBABLY NOT READY FOR THE TOURNAMENT AND SHOULD BUILD RENOWN (NOT TO MENTION CASH) WITH SMALLER JOBS FIRST.

[King Zultan]

EXPLAIN TO THE NEW LEADER THE THREE ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS OF ANY KNIGHT'S SUCCESS: KNIGHTLY PIETY, KNIGHTLY RENOWN, AND KNIGHTLY CASH. CURRENTLY WE ARE LOW ON ALL THREE. THE DUTY OF THE LEADER IS TO CHOOSE A BALANCE BETWEEN THE COMPONENTS TO BECOME AN ACCOMPLISHED KNIGHT WITHOUT FALLING INTO CORRUPTION [COUGH EMBARRASSEDLY AT THIS POINT]. SUPPLY THAT YOUR KNIGHTLY INSTINCTS INFORM YOU THAT HELPING THE MONASTERY WILL LIKELY INCREASE OUR PIETY RATING MOST, FOLLOWED PERHAPS BY HARVESTING, AND THE TOURNAMENT OUR RENOWN (PROVIDED WE DO NOT FAIL MISERABLY). TRULY, THE MOIST VOICE THINKS THE MONASTERY JOB IS LIKELY TO BEAR FRUIT, BUT THE OTHER LESSER JOBS ARE ALSO VALID CHOICES AND WE CEDED LEADERSHIP FOR A GOOD REASON SO IT MAY BE BEST TO INFORM WITHOUT FAVOURING ANY PARTICULAR CHOICE. HOWEVER WE ARE PROBABLY NOT READY FOR THE TOURNAMENT AND SHOULD BUILD RENOWN (NOT TO MENTION CASH) WITH SMALLER JOBS FIRST.

+1 Sounds good to me.

[VoidSlayer]

    BRING AN ORDER OF BOTANICAL BOOKS TO A MONASTERY NEAR THE VILLAGE OF INKSWORTH
             I bet this is actually a smuggling operation.  We should turn them in to the guard.

    ESCORT A MESSENGER TO EPHOR'S REST WITHOUT GETTING STOPPED
             If we attack everyone we meet on the way then we are stopping others not getting stopped ourselves so I bet it would count.

    PROVIDE PROTECTION FOR A CARAVAN HEADING FOR THE DISTANT TOWN OF CLAYLESS
             More smuggling, what a seedy town we are in.  Lets not tell the guards they are probably in on it.

    DISCREETLY REPORT ON TROOP MOVEMENTS UP TO HALF A DAY AWAY FROM BREADLAMB
             Yeah lets be honest nothing about our group is discreet.

    PARTICIPATE IN A MINOR TOURNAMENT HELD IN THE CASTLE OF THE EARL OF SILTMAGE
             Just need to participate not win?  Sounds like a good job!

    JOIN THE LOCAL BURGHER'S MILITIA
             Yeah join the corrupt guards complicit in all the smuggling we read about above? no thanks unless they pay well.

    HELP WITH THE HARVESTS IN NEARBY FIELDS
             Those other peasants liked us so much when we helped they led us out of town in a parade, maybe we can find more goats to fight.

[Kilojoule Proton]

EXPLAIN TO THE NEW LEADER THE THREE ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS OF ANY KNIGHT'S SUCCESS: KNIGHTLY PIETY, KNIGHTLY RENOWN, AND KNIGHTLY CASH. CURRENTLY WE ARE LOW ON ALL THREE. THE DUTY OF THE LEADER IS TO CHOOSE A BALANCE BETWEEN THE COMPONENTS TO BECOME AN ACCOMPLISHED KNIGHT WITHOUT FALLING INTO CORRUPTION [COUGH EMBARRASSEDLY AT THIS POINT]. SUPPLY THAT YOUR KNIGHTLY INSTINCTS INFORM YOU THAT HELPING THE MONASTERY WILL LIKELY INCREASE OUR PIETY RATING MOST, FOLLOWED PERHAPS BY HARVESTING, AND THE TOURNAMENT OUR RENOWN (PROVIDED WE DO NOT FAIL MISERABLY). TRULY, THE MOIST VOICE THINKS THE MONASTERY JOB IS LIKELY TO BEAR FRUIT, BUT THE OTHER LESSER JOBS ARE ALSO VALID CHOICES AND WE CEDED LEADERSHIP FOR A GOOD REASON SO IT MAY BE BEST TO INFORM WITHOUT FAVOURING ANY PARTICULAR CHOICE. HOWEVER WE ARE PROBABLY NOT READY FOR THE TOURNAMENT AND SHOULD BUILD RENOWN (NOT TO MENTION CASH) WITH SMALLER JOBS FIRST.

    BRING AN ORDER OF BOTANICAL BOOKS TO A MONASTERY NEAR THE VILLAGE OF INKSWORTH
             I bet this is actually a smuggling operation.  We should turn them in to the guard.
    PARTICIPATE IN A MINOR TOURNAMENT HELD IN THE CASTLE OF THE EARL OF SILTMAGE
             Just need to participate not win?  Sounds like a good job!
    HELP WITH THE HARVESTS IN NEARBY FIELDS
             Those other peasants liked us so much when we helped they led us out of town in a parade, maybe we can find more goats to fight.

YOU EXPLAIN THE FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES BEHIND KNIGHTLY SUCCESS AND SUGGEST FINDING A SUITABLE BALANCE OF PIETY, RENOWN, AND CASH THROUGH THE JOBS. YOU ALSO PROVIDE SOME HINTS ON WHAT THE CURRENT PARTY STANDS TO GAIN FROM THE VARIOUS QUESTS DISCOVERED TODAY. DOODLE-CROW PONDERS THE AVAILABLE CHOICES, AND AFTER WAVERING BETWEEN THE BOOK DELIVERY QUEST AND PARTICIPATING IN THE TOURNAMENT REGARDLESS OF SKILL, ENDS UP GOING WITH THE MONASTERY MISSION FOR KNIGHTLY PIETY (AND POSSIBLY KNIGHTLY CASH SHOULD IT TURN OUT TO BE A SMUGGLING OPERATION AFTER ALL). AFTER ANOTHER FAIRLY LUXURIOUS NIGHT IN THE STABLES DURING WHICH YOUR WOODEN HORSE CONTINUED TO REFUSE TO EAT, YOU EACH GATHER ONE OF THE RATHER HEAVY BOTANICAL TREATISES AND SET OUT FOR THE MONASTERY.

CARRYING BOTANICAL TOMES UNDER A HOT SUN, THE TRIP TO THE MONASTERY IS LONG AND TIRING. BY YOUR ESTIMATION, IT SHOULD BE JUST ABOUT A DAY AWAY BUT FOR THE ENCUMBRANCE OF THESE DREARY BOOKS. YOU ESTIMATE THAT THE PARTY IS HALFWAY THERE BASED ON THE MILESTONES BY THIS SURPRISINGLY WELL-MAINTAINED ROAD IN THE AFTERNOON OF THE SECOND DAY OF YOUR TRIP. THAT EVENING, JUST BEFORE YOU WOULD HAVE BEGUN ROOSTING, A GANG OF THREE PHEASANT BANDITS TURNS UP!

"SQUAWK! WE ARE THE PLEASANT PEASANTS! YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIVES!"

DOODLE-CROW ORDERS FOR THE BOOKS TO BE DROPPED AND THE BANDITS ATTACKED! IT'S DARK, BUT YOU OBSERVE THAT THE BANDITS ARE NOT WEARING METAL ARMOR. THEIR LEADER AND ONE OF THE FOLLOWERS ARE WIELDING SHORTSWORDS. THE REMAINING BANDIT IS WIELDING A DAGGER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ELABORATE ON YOUR OWN ACTIONS?

Code: [Select]

      p p ~~~~~     o
        oP ~~~~~
 o        ~~~~~        o
    o     ~~~~~ o
      o  ~c~~~        o
   o    ~~~c~
      ~~C~~    o
    ~@~c~
   ~~~~~   o       o
  ~~~~~
~~~~~        o
-------------------------
P, p: pheasant
C: Doodle-Crow
c: Chicken recruits
@: Chicken Knight

~: road
o: tree


[King Zultan]

HAVE OUR PEOPLE THROW SOME ROCKS AT THEM UNTIL THEY GET TO CLOSE, THEN ONCE THEY GET CLOSE TO OUR GUYS WE KILL THEM WITH OUR WEAPONS.

[Maximum Spin]

YES, ALSO REMEMBER TO GUARD THE LEADER! HIS SAFETY IS PARAMOUNT SINCE IF HE DIES THEY'LL PROBABLY MAKE US LEAD AGAIN.

[Naturegirl1999]

charge at them and peck them

[Stirk]

INSIST THAT THIS IS NOT A FAIR FIGHT AS THEY DO NOT HAVE METAL ARMOR. OFFER TO FIGHT THEM LATER WHEN THEY ARE BETTER EQUIPPED.

[Naturegirl1999]

INSIST THAT THIS IS NOT A FAIR FIGHT AS THEY DO NOT HAVE METAL ARMOR. OFFER TO FIGHT THEM LATER WHEN THEY ARE BETTER EQUIPPED.

They wish to kill us, we shall respond in kind

[Stirk]

INSIST THAT THIS IS NOT A FAIR FIGHT AS THEY DO NOT HAVE METAL ARMOR. OFFER TO FIGHT THEM LATER WHEN THEY ARE BETTER EQUIPPED.

They wish to kill us, we shall respond in kind

ACTUALLY THEY JUST WISH TO ROB US. I'M PRETTY SURE DESPITE GIVING US THE OPTION THEY WOULD REALLY PREFER THE MONEY.

[VoidSlayer]

BACK AWAY FROM THE BOOKS AND TELL THEM THEY CAN HAVE THE LOOT.  THEN WHEN THEY HAVE PICKED UP THE BURDENSOME PAMPHLETS WE CAN PULVERIZE THE PLEASANT PEASANT PHEASANTS.  NO ONE COULD FIGHT EQUIPPED WITH SUCH TROUBLESOME TOMES!

[Superdorf]

WHAT'S OUR EQUIPMENT LIKE? HOW ABOUT THE EQUIPMENT OF OUR CHICKEN SQUIRES?
...DO WE EVEN HAVE EQUIPMENT?