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Author Topic: Elf punishment.  (Read 8214 times)

Shinotsa

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #30 on: November 01, 2011, 11:24:25 am »

Query: if magma breaches the surface, it becomes lava. Is the opposite true?
Incorrect. Magma is not lava on the surface, lava is magma with impurities in it. Lava has more stone in it, magma has more metal.

Volcanoes=lava.
Magma tubes and magma sea=magma.
Actually, ASCIt is correct. Magma is underground lava, lava is aboveground magma.

Sooo I'm confused. Is it lava because of the impurities it gets while going to the surface, or is it lava because it's on the surface and the impurities are just from reaching the surface? Or are both always true since no one's ever been dorfy enough to create an artificial volcano? To be honest I always thought that magma was underground lava and lava was magma on the surface, but it is kind of hard to argue with Necro about magma.

Re-railing, I recently got butchered by an early wave of war grizzlies and giant eagles. On a volcano embark. My one survivor waited it out until migrants came and then croaked, but the fort is in pretty good shape with enough stores to last through my planned project. Next time the hippies and their beasts visit the magma lava will flow freely.
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Wannazzaki

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #31 on: November 01, 2011, 11:32:04 am »

In unrelated news, I always imagine Necro saying the Big M-Word in a prayer-like hymn tone. That's probably wrong but who cares.
I say it closer to this.

Huh? You mean you've actually said magma out loud? I always thought you simply showed what you meant at that point.

That's like you assume i have never said outloud "I declare exterminatus on this-*" *Insert thing i declare exterminatus on*

I just assumed he always carries a bucket of magma/lava around, and shows it when he refers to it. I guess you then have Ordo Malleus on line all the time  :-\

(Did I spell it right?)

I have this guy on speed dial



When there's something elf in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call? That guy.
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Necro910

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #32 on: November 01, 2011, 11:36:14 am »

Query: if magma breaches the surface, it becomes lava. Is the opposite true?
Incorrect. Magma is not lava on the surface, lava is magma with impurities in it. Lava has more stone in it, magma has more metal.

Volcanoes=lava.
Magma tubes and magma sea=magma.
Actually, ASCIt is correct. Magma is underground lava, lava is aboveground magma.

Sooo I'm confused. Is it lava because of the impurities it gets while going to the surface, or is it lava because it's on the surface and the impurities are just from reaching the surface? Or are both always true since no one's ever been dorfy enough to create an artificial volcano? To be honest I always thought that magma was underground lava and lava was magma on the surface, but it is kind of hard to argue with Necro about magma.
From wikipedia:
Quote from: Magma article
Magma (from Greek μάγμα "paste") is a mixture of molten rock, volatiles and solids that is found beneath the surface of the Earth

Quote from: Lava article
Lava refers both to molten rock expelled by a volcano during an eruption and the resulting rock after solidification and cooling.
Magma is also hotter.

Shinotsa

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #33 on: November 01, 2011, 12:00:54 pm »

Thanks Necro! You should teach volcanology at the local community college purely to keep the students awake. You'd be like the surprise symphony, only dorfier.

Oh, dwarven music as a form of torture. Cage elves in the dining/meeting hall and have instruments stockpiled everywhere. Try not to imagine the torture though, lest your ears bleed.
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Necro910

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #34 on: November 01, 2011, 12:13:45 pm »

Thanks Necro! You should teach volcanology at the local community college purely to keep the students awake. You'd be like the surprise symphony, only dorfier.
Oh god. Just picture that.

"Settle down, settle down. Today we will be discussing the proper application of magma."
"Professor, are we going to talk about ANYTHING ELSE?"
"No."
"What kind of pro-"
*lever*
"Next question."
"How do we solve war with ma-"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"..."
"Next question."

Oliolli

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #35 on: November 01, 2011, 12:51:51 pm »

So let me get this straight...

Necro doesn't carry a bucket of molten rock around with him all the time?
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Necro910

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #36 on: November 01, 2011, 12:58:41 pm »

So let me get this straight...

Necro doesn't carry a bucket of molten rock around with him all the time?
Unfortunately I do not have the funds to purchase a magma-safe bucket, then dig several thousand feet, and get magma.

I'm satisfied with making everyone shit their pants whenever someone brings up magma, though  :P

Tevish Szat

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #37 on: November 01, 2011, 01:58:41 pm »

Oh, dwarven music as a form of torture. Cage elves in the dining/meeting hall and have instruments stockpiled everywhere. Try not to imagine the torture though, lest your ears bleed.
So, dwarves write the music and Vogons do the lyrics?  That really would be horrifying.

And I always assumed the M-word to be yelled in the style of "Leeroy Jenkins"  It just seems to capture the excessive just and right enthusiasm of it all.

do caged nondwarf sentients starve/Dehydrate?  I didn't think they did.  Certainly, goblins don't: I've had snatchers bricked up behind walls for YEARS.  Furthermore, can you transfer nonhostile prisoners to other restraints, like chains?  It might be possible to build an elf zoo (or harem -- I'm sure the idea would delight ASCIt) without provoking elves to siege and thus turning the attractions hostile.  Send 'em home with good profits, but down an elf or two.  Experiments are required.
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Necro910

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #38 on: November 01, 2011, 02:33:04 pm »

Oh, dwarven music as a form of torture. Cage elves in the dining/meeting hall and have instruments stockpiled everywhere. Try not to imagine the torture though, lest your ears bleed.
So, dwarves write the music and Vogons do the lyrics?  That really would be horrifying.

And I always assumed the M-word to be yelled in the style of "Leeroy Jenkins"  It just seems to capture the excessive just and right enthusiasm of it all.

do caged nondwarf sentients starve/Dehydrate?  I didn't think they did.  Certainly, goblins don't: I've had snatchers bricked up behind walls for YEARS.  Furthermore, can you transfer nonhostile prisoners to other restraints, like chains?  It might be possible to build an elf zoo (or harem -- I'm sure the idea would delight ASCIt) without provoking elves to siege and thus turning the attractions hostile.  Send 'em home with good profits, but down an elf or two.  Experiments are required.
The whores attractions would go insane, with some of them berserking. Cue Fun

malroth

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #39 on: November 01, 2011, 02:36:18 pm »

Wall them up untill they go insane then unleash them on next years elven caravan before repeating the process
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Oliolli

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #40 on: November 01, 2011, 03:13:05 pm »

So let me get this straight...

Necro doesn't carry a bucket of molten rock around with him all the time?
Unfortunately I do not have the funds to purchase a magma-safe bucket, then dig several thousand feet, and get magma.

I'm satisfied with making everyone shit their pants whenever someone brings up magma, though  :P

Brings up magma... as in from several thousand feet below, or in speech?
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o

Necro910

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #41 on: November 01, 2011, 03:19:45 pm »

So let me get this straight...

Necro doesn't carry a bucket of molten rock around with him all the time?
Unfortunately I do not have the funds to purchase a magma-safe bucket, then dig several thousand feet, and get magma.

I'm satisfied with making everyone shit their pants whenever someone brings up magma, though  :P

Brings up magma... as in from several thousand feet below, or in speech?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

JDF117

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #42 on: November 01, 2011, 03:23:29 pm »

Oh, dwarven music as a form of torture. Cage elves in the dining/meeting hall and have instruments stockpiled everywhere. Try not to imagine the torture though, lest your ears bleed.
So, dwarves write the music and Vogons do the lyrics?  That really would be horrifying.

And I always assumed the M-word to be yelled in the style of "Leeroy Jenkins"  It just seems to capture the excessive just and right enthusiasm of it all.

do caged nondwarf sentients starve/Dehydrate?  I didn't think they did.  Certainly, goblins don't: I've had snatchers bricked up behind walls for YEARS.  Furthermore, can you transfer nonhostile prisoners to other restraints, like chains?  It might be possible to build an elf zoo (or harem -- I'm sure the idea would delight ASCIt) without provoking elves to siege and thus turning the attractions hostile.  Send 'em home with good profits, but down an elf or two.  Experiments are required.

  I know from experience that elf-enslaved tigermen will starve if left caged.
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Tevish Szat

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #43 on: November 01, 2011, 04:48:45 pm »

Oh, dwarven music as a form of torture. Cage elves in the dining/meeting hall and have instruments stockpiled everywhere. Try not to imagine the torture though, lest your ears bleed.
So, dwarves write the music and Vogons do the lyrics?  That really would be horrifying.

And I always assumed the M-word to be yelled in the style of "Leeroy Jenkins"  It just seems to capture the excessive just and right enthusiasm of it all.

do caged nondwarf sentients starve/Dehydrate?  I didn't think they did.  Certainly, goblins don't: I've had snatchers bricked up behind walls for YEARS.  Furthermore, can you transfer nonhostile prisoners to other restraints, like chains?  It might be possible to build an elf zoo (or harem -- I'm sure the idea would delight ASCIt) without provoking elves to siege and thus turning the attractions hostile.  Send 'em home with good profits, but down an elf or two.  Experiments are required.
The whores attractions would go insane, with some of them berserking. Cue Fun
Well, we just need a processing system then -- leave 'em caged until they go nuts: berserkers stay in cages and become part of the zoo -- look but don't touch.  melancholy, stark raving mad, or somehow made of stern enough stuff to not go insane in captivity?  That's when we need the details about transferring to chains.

@ JDF: the starvation might be mod-related, or perhaps tameness related.
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Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.

Zarhon

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Re: Elf punishment.
« Reply #44 on: November 01, 2011, 05:18:11 pm »

Clearly the elves need to be punished and shown humility. For this, we need a trap that incorporates all things dwarven: Magma, grievous injury, more magma, plenty of irony, sadism and magma.

Construct 4 tiles wide hallway. Make it very long. One end of the hallway has 4 floodgates (controlled with lever, magma-proof), holding down a LOT of unpressurised magma (or slightly pressurised, just in case the magma is too slow for your liking). The other end leads outside. Construct weapons traps, equipped with blunt weaponry that won't instantly kill the elves, but *will* grievously  harm them or break bones (magma-proof weapons will make reseting the trap less tedious, but might make the traps too powerful). Place them randomly (or if you don't want to put things to chance, make about 2-4 unavoidable lines of em) inside the hallway. On the other end of the hallway is a 1 tile wide tunnel, leading to the surface outside. Put a door/bridge/other locking & unlocking mechanism on that part of the tunnel, again magmaproof. Dig a hole 2-3 stories above the hallway, next to the floodgates. This is where you will drop the elves from into the hallway.

Once the hallway is built, the fun can begin. For best effect, try to capture the elves as they are retreating from a siege (so they try exit the map rather than attack), although regular prisoner elves will do too.

1) Drop your prisoners down the pit into the hallway (make sure the hallway is locked at this point). This will land them near the magma (still held by floodgates) and probably break several of their bones due to the fall damage.
2) Open both the floodgates and the exit at once. The magma will be released, and the elves will run for their lives down the exit. Those who are too slow due to broken bones/injuries/unconciousness (caused by the fall) will be baked.
3) While running, they will probably get hit by the hammer traps, breaking additional bones (thus slowing them enough for the magma to catch up).
4) If an elf managed to get past through the hallway, quickly lock the door behind him (or use pressure plates do to it for you).
5) All the slow elves will be burnt to a crisp, while the survivor will flee for his life and live to tell the horrors you inflicted upon them to his foul kin.
6) Cut down a tree for every elf killed this way. Decorate exit of hallway with remains.

For extra laughs, put plenty of wooden weapon traps in the hall (you'll have to replace them though).
« Last Edit: November 01, 2011, 05:29:33 pm by Zarhon »
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