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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 474675 times)

customlemon

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It's bacause of their dorfy passive-aggresivness:

"Oh, you think I should be _GRATEFUL_ for not being left outside?
Sure, next time leave me there. I don't care.
But you know what would be even better?
All of my friends throwing tantrums!
You would like that, would you not?
Yeah, that _SURE_ would be a pleasant sight.
.
.
.
Bitch."

##===##
2 of my full-time military dorfs just got announced 'Administrators'. The do nothing all day. (Gave them some time off - they got tired and stressed) Is this a bug, or a realism feature?
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Needs !!FUN!! to get through the working day

Bumber

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2 of my full-time military dorfs just got announced 'Administrators'. The do nothing all day. (Gave them some time off - they got tired and stressed) Is this a bug, or a realism feature?
Both. All bugs are actually features.

What disagreement caused the Ace Bees to disband?
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

escondida

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"Urist, we discussed this. I'm the charismatic front dwarf, you get to be the guitarist with mystique!"

"But Reg, I can't possibly be the guitarist with mystique over the constant, sourceless guitar music that plays everywhere!"

"You're not supposed to talk about that."

"What do you mean? I'm just saying--how do I play the guitar over that other guitar music?"

"Get out! Get out of here! You're out of the band! And never come back!"



What do Forgotten Beasts get up to with no dwarves around to terrorize them?
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The Big D

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They have teaparties with clowns and trolls, and ride giant moledogs on merry jaunts with their ladyfriends through the caverns.


Why is it that I invariably get statues of some guy hugging a field of barley as an artifact in my fort?
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I just have this terrible mental picture of this beet-looking thing bursting out of someone's stomach and being like "Neeeeed phosphaaaaates"
If it's magma resistant, mod it so it's not!

NESgamer190

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They have teaparties with clowns and trolls, and ride giant moledogs on merry jaunts with their ladyfriends through the caverns.


Why is it that I invariably get statues of some guy hugging a field of barley as an artifact in my fort?

Maybe the dwarf barley had any creativity for his artifact.

How is it that one of my dwarves managed to survive a giant cave spider bite?
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customlemon

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Random mutation. His offspings might be immune too - you should perform !!SCIENCE!! on them. Don't forget to post back your results.

Why a collapsed ice wall creates a cloud of loam?
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TheHossofMoss

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Random mutation. His offspings might be immune too - you should perform !!SCIENCE!! on them. Don't forget to post back your results.

Why a collapsed ice wall creates a cloud of loam?

Because it doesn't actually rain water, it rains loam. Essentially, ice is just frozen loam. So when it falls/collapses, it breaks into finer particles that fly everywhere!

Why hasn't this post been updated for almost a month?
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On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my love saved the fort from...
Five sieging Werebeasts, four Giant Dingoes, three sneaky Thieves, two drunken Black bears, and a Titan killing spree!

NESgamer190

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Mayhaps there has been a lack of unusual events?

Why in the world did elves arrive in winter to trade in my succession fort?  (Vanilla game)
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DAPARROT

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they got lost

why are undead werebeasts capable of cloning themselves?
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I should probably introduce the actual plot soon
7/11 guy, bringer of the apocabeepse. Uplifter of threads. Herald of the hive.

Skribbblie

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Because no undead werebeast arm should be without a body.

Why do ogres just like walking into my fort to knock over all of my buildings and otherwise hang out quietly?
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

GiantCaveMushroom

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They knocked over your buildings because they are snobbish architects who are offended by your designs and wants to direct the dwarves into building better, in its eyes, buildings.

Why don't elves ever figure out metal is sharper and stronger than wood?
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DAPARROT

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Because to get metal the have to burn wood

Why do dwarves think magma is drinkable?
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I should probably introduce the actual plot soon
7/11 guy, bringer of the apocabeepse. Uplifter of threads. Herald of the hive.

GiantCaveMushroom

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Because water and Magma both flow. Water is drinkable and therefore magma should be. it's scientific.

Why do dwarves make spears entirely out of metal instead of, say, making the shaft out of Goblin bones or Elven forest retreats?
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Urlance Woolsbane

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As both a means of demonstrating their sheer DORFINESS and to make a weapon that, all else failing, delivers blunt force quite nicely.

Why do non-citizens (I'm thinking of the poor, broken echidna that a flock of undead ostriches decided to play ball with) seemingly not die of thirst in Fortress Mode?
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"Hey papa, your dandruff is melting my skin. Is that normal?"
"SKREEEONK!!!"
"Yes, daddy."

Immortal-D

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For the same reason that non-citizens don't need to eat or sleep.  Entities are not truly alive until they are one with the Dwarves (circular logic at its' finest).
How come leather armor never breaks, but a leather shirt, literally the exact same material, will eventually fall apart from use?
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