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[RedKing]

I meant in terms of enormous amounts of stupid emotional baggage.

Most people have this, why should it make you of all people less attractive when you have so much to make up for it?

This.

To some extent, getting older is just about learning to ignore/forget your baggage. After which, it's gone. You only carry that baggage which you refuse to let go of.

Damn, I wish I had a better way of explaining it without sounding like a slightly condescending fortune cookie. 

[Vector]

Yeah, well.

I'm only 21.  Got lots of time to burn on that.

[Nadaka]

Everyone has stupid emotional baggage. Going through serious problems can give you is perspective. Perhaps that perspective can let you see just how small the rest of that baggage can be.

[Vector]

I guess I will say that being lonely really doesn't feel as soul-crushing as it used to, because I've learned about some of the less palatable alternatives.

[kaijyuu]

Phew. I gather the nerve to return to this thread after blowing up in it, and I see that I was mostly ignored. Good; I was being overly emotional. Apologies all around.

Kaijyuu, was that directed at me? I am sorry if I stepped on your toes.

Nope. TBH I was just skimming the thread, saw some comments that enraged me, and started spewing my opinion. None of them were yours.




Re: emotional baggage.
Yeah everyone has it. Just gotta learn how to deal with it; don't bottle it up, don't dump it on everyone else all the time. Find an avenue to deal with it.
Only an extremely unrealistic person would expect you to have no problems.

[GlyphGryph]

I have no emotional baggage from past relationships, at least.

But, like most other people who lack that particular flaw, I make up for it by being fucked up in other areas, yay.

And man, you're really only 21, Vector?
I thought you were... like... my age, at least. Woah.

I didn't even go on my first date until I was around that age.

[Truean]

. . .

That was another thing he told me.  You know--that rationally speaking, he was probably the only person who'd find me attractive.  That was before he decided I was evil and hell-bent on his destruction, and before he informed me that he'd adopted me as a fixer-upper project but I just was too intractable a problem for anyone to fix.

Thank you for reminding me of that.  Sometimes I forget.

Welcome to Truean's Bullshit to English Translator, please deposit a $0.25. No? O well:
Bullshit:

he was probably the only person who'd find me attractive.

English:
"I don't want you to think you're pretty because then YOU might find someone better than ME.

Bullshit:

That was before he decided I was evil and hell-bent on his destruction,

English:
"I want you to feel bad and to blame you for alllll my problemseseses."

Bullshit:

he informed me that he'd adopted me as a fixer-upper project

English:
"I'm pretending I was never attracted to you so it doesn't look like I'm losing anything. This is me blatantly and badly trying to cover my own ass while harming you!"

Bullshit:

I just was too intractable a problem for anyone to fix.

English: "You no do everything I tell you to without question or thought! Why you no do everything I tell you to? Imma hurt you emotionally cause you don't mindlessly obey me!"

At the risk of sounding stereotypical or against men, this is the kinda thing women say "men suck" about. Form personal experience, bad dates/relationships with guys sting. It just really hurts being with a jerk, or dumped by one, etc. Sentimental or the dental, it's all pain and it all hurts. Hopefully this might have helped in some way.

Well, I'm going to go dig up some quarters or otherwise get change for laundry somehow.

[Vector]

Yeah, thank you, Truean >_<  I can't really tell you how much I appreciate having a gal-pal right now.  It's actually making me all warm and chocolate-fuzzy coated :3

I thought you were... like... my age, at least. Woah.

Man, I have no idea why everyone thinks I'm so much older than I am.  My teachers, the people I meet, etc., for some reason it's pretty much always 30-40 years old.

Anyway, unless one of those many times when I woke up and wondered which year it was had more fruit than I thought, I should still only be 21 =)

[Truean]

[cuddles nicely] Happy to help hon. I'm always here for that. What are girlfriends for?

[GlyphGryph]

Vector, I think its because you're always talking about pretty advanced math topics - I thus assume you are a grad student, and the assumption then runs that since grad students tend to be older than 21, you are probably older than 21.

Mind you, I'm only, like... twenty... something...? five? 25? I think thats right. So I figured you were like 23-26 or something.

[G-Flex]

I agree with Truean; that guy sounds like he was being manipulative and dickish.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I have a story that's relevant to the thread's purpose.
Another child beaten to death because of the book To Train Up A Child. Here is the Wikipedia article.

They beat her for seven hours until she started vomiting and choking. She died in the hospital, of a condition usually afflicting earthquake victims. They did this because of the teachings of To Train Up A Child, which claims that it is the will of God to beat your children into submission to you. Her parents did this to her because she mispronounced a word. Their other eight children are alive, but they still suffered the same kind of abuse. Lydia Schatz was seven years old when she was murdered by her adoptive parents.

Her father received 22 years in prison, her mother, 12.
 
I get asked a lot, off the internet and on it, why I have a problem with religion and Christianity. This is why.

Tell me, if you can, why it's alright to physically assault children, but not adults? Because they're smaller than you? Because you have legal control over them? Because they're "too difficult to teach"? I used to be on the fence about this issue, but I know what I support now. Corporal punishment should be a crime.

[Kay12]

Find me a good one and I'll take it back.

What you're basically saying is unless I can find a good book about relationships, such books can't exist?

I seriously doubt all relationship books are crap, although I also believe that the more they base the book on "this is how you should live your life", the worse outcomes they may yield. But that's not the only way to write one, as far as I know.

[GlyphGryph]

Kay12, assuming they exist, they are statistically rare (at the least), and its probably likely he doesn't even need a good one, so...

[Lysabild]

Her father received 22 years in prison, her mother, 12.

.. Why does she get 10 years less?

Edit: Also, hitting children is illegal here in Denmark. Completely.