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[wierd]

The residents of lakespire suggest that you attempt the creation of <*RumRaisin Icecream*> using <*dark rum*>, <*heavy cream*>, <*vanilla extract*>, and <*gourmet golden grape raisins*>.

[Grendus]

Dear miners,
I get it, you're finding a lot of damp stone. There's a reason for this, if you may recall the floor above you temporarily flooded when the lakes you were digging through suddenly thawed for spring. You are not about to dig into an aquifer, nor are you suddenly going to tap the river. Please, quit your whining!

[Sus]

Dear Merchants,

If the goblin siege ambushes you just outside my front gate, it's generally more advisable to run towards the fort entrance rather than away from it; That way, I'll be able to effectively protect you and as a bonus, it draws the invaders to my specially designed Hallway of Pointy Death. I sure as HFS am not going to send my squads to their deaths just to rescue your stupid ass (or horse, or hammerdwarf, or yourself) from all the way across the map. 

-'Sus' Bridgedpits, Turtle Mode Fort Overseer

..Oh well. They left all their goodies behind, and the outpost liaison survived. Not a bad outcome, all things considered. :3

[JDRingo]

Hey, friends from the Mountainhomes! Next time you lead a bunch of goblins to our peaceful little fort, do you think you could lend a hand with killing them? Y'know instead of watching them murder all of our livestock.

[Vehudur]

Dear UristMcStupidWoodcutter

Please, stop idling in an unsecured part of hell.   Seriously.  There are no trees down there.  You're just being really stupid.  When a demon inevitably strolls along and ridiculously murders you, we will not even attempt to retrieve your body.

Sincerely, your annoyed overseer.

[Chipperbane]

Dear Avuz Onshenurvad,

When you find yourself in the middle of a goblin pikeman ambush, and you are able to gain distance, don't try to juke around and crap. If you are faster than them, run in a straight line. Don't try fancy diagonals or hiding behind trees. If you are able to gain distance, run home. Don't run into the shell of the Microcline Mansion that is currently under construction and has a 3 tile-wide section of unfinished wall. Because that entrance is the only exit.

I thank Armok that you have no friends, no children, and no lover. You're a non-entity. You will not be missed.

I have sent Rovod to clean up after you. He's already tearing into the ambush squad.

Truly,

Your Benevolent Overseer

[Urist_McArathos]

Dear Urist McCrippledSoldier,

Please report to the hospital for your new crutch.  I'm really, really sorry about that lost foot.  I was positive that all the prisoners had been stripped of their weapons prior to being unleashed in the training room, but apparently that scimitar-wielding goblin got past me.  Good job on not passing out or anything elfy like that, but fighting on until he was dead.  It set a good example for your squadmates.

Sincerely, Your Embarrassed Overseer.

PS: You're rather pale; get something to eat.

[wierd]

Dear Udib sezukdatan, duke of whipsack,

Please stop mandating the construction of armor stands. You have 73 of them in your quarters now. You couldn't possibly use them all, considering there aren't that many suits of armor in the whole fortress.

Further mandates for these things will result in your becoming trapped in you quarters by their addition. No, you will not just get a bigger room. You will become trapped, because I refuse to remodel an entire level of the fortress to accommodate your fettishistic hoarding.

Stop mandating the construction of armor stands. You have been warned.

Candidly yours,
Avatar of Armok.

[Chipperbane]

Dear Sigun Asmellurit,

I'm sure you're tickled with the artifact crutch you just made, but did you REALLY need to name it Sigun Asmellurit?

How conceited can you be?!

Flabbergasted-ly yours,

God

[Wannazzaki]

Dear Sigun Asmellurit,

I'm sure your tickled with the artifact crutch you just made, but did you REALLY need to name it Sigun Asmellurit?

How conceited can you be?!

Flabbergasted-ly yours,

God

That is one for the record books to be sure.

[Reudh]

I had a dwarf make adamantine chain leggings, who named it Meng Oarsounded after himself.
It made for very odd engravings.

This is a superior engraving by Urist McEngraver. On the image is Meng Oarsounded the dwarf and Meng Oarsounded the adamantine chain leggings. Meng Oarsounded is raising Meng Oarsounded.

[OldPrussia]

Dear Urist McNewGuy

I know you came to my fort to make a name for yourself. To become somebody, to be the BEST! But how in your long life have you fail to become anything more than just a novice Wood-Burner. I mean come on man give me something to work with.

Lovingly yours
A Friend

[uwaiawu]

Dear miners,
I get it, you're finding a lot of damp stone. There's a reason for this, if you may recall the floor above you temporarily flooded when the lakes you were digging through suddenly thawed for spring. You are not about to dig into an aquifer, nor are you suddenly going to tap the river. Please, quit your whining!

Go into data/init/announcements.txt
Search for

Code: [Select]

[DIG_CANCEL_WARM:A_D:D_D:P:R]
[DIG_CANCEL_DAMP:A_D:D_D:P:R]and remove the last two letters in both of these lines (P and R respectively)
Your dorfs will still cancel the designation, but the game won't pause and neither will it zoom to the cancelled designation. Makes digging under a lake so much more comfortable.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Dear Ast Tannish, Mason.

If you don't hurry up and build that bridge, you'll be the first one to test out how well it lowers.

Regards, Overseer Yuuko.

[Sus]

Dear Urist McNewGuy

I know you came to my fort to make a name for yourself. To become somebody, to be the BEST! But how in your long life have you fail to become anything more than just a novice Wood-Burner. I mean come on man give me something to work with.

Lovingly yours
A Friend

No, no, no!

"Dear Mountainhomes,
Give me your peasants, your novice soap makers,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming halls.
Send these, the fish dissectors, the clerks to me,
I'll tell them to shut up, dorf up and start hauling rocks!"

- 'Sus' Plagiatedarts, "the New Masterwork Statue of a Bronze Colossus"