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[Kastrol Aslaasri]

Dear Urist McHammerdwarf:

No, you CAN'T grab a barrel of delicious booze with your two arms broken.
Please go to your nearest hospital.

Sincerely, the Overseer.

[OMGTANGERINES]

Dear Urist McNoble,

Please don't pull that lever. It's the one that floods the entryway from a highly pressurized major river.

Sincerely, The Overseer.

[Sarda]

Dear Urist McHammerdwarf:

No, you CAN'T grab a barrel of delicious booze with your two arms broken.
Please go to your nearest hospital.

Sincerely, the Overseer.

Yes he can. Look at how dorfs forge stuff, after all.

[FrankMcFuzz]

Dear Urist McThresher, ex Urist McSwordsdwarf.

You have received treament for the wound to your wrist years ago, why do you still flood the messagebox with cancellations of "Too injured"? You only injured one hand, damn it. Use the other one.

Sincerely, the Overseer

[Sarda]

The doctor probably sucked at treating him. Wound him again.

[Lielac]

HEY! Urist McOnlyDecentWeaponsmith!

You may have noticed I made a few military squads. You may have noticed they are unarmed. You definitely noticed the forges, as you built them.

I guess what I'm saying is MAKE ME SOME ARMOK-DAMNED WEAPONS INSTEAD OF PARTYING AND BOOZING, YOU LAZY @#$%!

Only not magma'ing you because you're the only decent weaponsmith and I need you,
Overseer Lielac

P.S.: Making one battleaxe and then going on break only makes me want to break your face in.

[HoleyDam]

Attention all Urist McGlitches,

Next time I see a dwarf slip past the plumbing grates (that I'm sure were installed properly and don't let dwarves through) I'm turning the water supply on full blast...

- Your baffled Overseer

P.S.: Swim practice at the Fun Room has been canceled.

[PCpaste]

Dear Urists,

The fish that has taken residence under our bridge isn't going to do anything to you. Just cross it, you'll see, you'll be fine.

Patiently, the Overseer of "The Blood-Halls of Mortality".

[evileeyore]

Dear Urists,

The fish that has taken residence under our bridge isn't going to do anything to you. Just cross it, you'll see, you'll be fine.

Patiently, the Overseer of "The Blood-Halls of Mortality".

Dear Overseer,

HAVE YE LOOKED IT IN THE EYES?  IT'S A MAD CARP I TELL YE!  MAD!  IT'S GOT THE WITCHY EYE!


Spooked as all get out,
Urist, Urist, and Bomrek

[Niccolo]

The doctor probably sucked at treating him. Wound him again.

Only in Dwarf Fortress is the solution to bad surgery to wound them again.

Dear Elves:

I have been gleefully butchering your caravans for as long as my fortress has stood here. Admittedly it's only been two years, but hey. Now look here. Bring something other than piles and piles of cloth; the dwarven capital is getting sick of all the pig-tail-fibre clother I'm foisting off on them.

Sincerely, Administrator of that place none of your brethren return from.

[DrKillPatient]

Dear Imush Paddlenose the Duties of Obeisance,
I wish to congratulate you on your recent destruction of Ufalo the forgotten beast. Despite the feathery snail spewing poisonous spittle at you, you managed to block the venom and charge across a small bridge toward it, somehow managing not to fall off as you were batted around by its wings. In addition, although your companions failed to come along for the fight, you singlehandedly (literally, as I recall you lost your right arm a while ago) removed both its wings and sent it crashing to the cavern floor some 25 Urists below with a third and final axe blow to the head. You may have noticed that at the time it was destroying the only support that held the Mayor's office from the roof of the cavern. In killing this beast, you've managed to save the Mayor's life, as well as over one million Urists in wealth-- including several artifacts-- that would have otherwise plummeted downward to its doom. I should hope that this letter gets to you soon, although you may be a bit occupied with strangling the speargoblin squad outside with your bare hands hand.

Excellent work.

- Overseer KillPatient

EDIT: She just bit a goblin's arms off and kicked his skull in. She'd be getting the mayor's office if it hadn't been engineered to kill whoever's inside it easily in case of slade mandates.

[Syrup Roast]

The doctor probably sucked at treating him. Wound him again.

Only in Dwarf Fortress is the solution to bad surgery to wound them again.

You know what I'd like in this game? Regular checkups from the doctors on the hospital's previous residents. It's not like the doctors are doing much.

[Samuel]

Memo to Pet Owners of Roastring:

If you're able to identify which chunk of crushed goo used to be your pet, you're welcome to keep the goo.

-Management.

[MantisMan]

Note to Miners:

When mining out a series of designations, please try to mine out one room at a time. That way, I can start designating stockpiles, or building workshops without having to hover over your shoulder and micromanage all of your digging designations.

-Overmind

[gentgeen]

Dear Pansy Elfs:


Yes, I know that shortly after your caravan's arrival Ololil was besieged by goblins. (Interesting coincidence, hmmm) However, your merchants were already much closer to the entrance of the Caņon of Death then the closest gobbos, who were otherwise busy chasing down a puppy that had been allowed to wander around. Had they just continued on into the Caņon and then to the trade depot, they'd be safe, and we'd be trading happily whilst the gobbos and trolls ground themselves into ribbons in the Caņon. Instead, they decided to flee, right into a squad of trolls. Good luck with that.

The Missing Count of Ololil