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[Desiderium]

As far as punishment goes, I would catch some turtles and assign them to a cage with a lever linked to it, in an arena.  Draft Turtle and station him in the arena.  Save and quit, and mod the turtle entry to make them size 2 normal critters, with a normal bite attack, and [liKES_FIGHTING].  Reopen the game, lock the arena door, and pull the lever.  After the fight is over, mod them back into harmless vermin.  I think that will work.

If he dies, he gets a turtle-shaped tomb.  If he lives, he stays in the military as a wrestler and is outfitted with turtle shell armor (made from the slain turtles from the arena), and is sent out first to deal with the next siege.  And then the turtle-shaped tomb.

If he survives that, he's clearly redeemed himself by sheer awesomeness.

This.

[expwnent]

How about this (incorporating some other ideas here):

You have a walled-off section of lake where there are some turtles breeding. Have a long path to a place with a craftsdwarf's workshop and fishery. Trap the path with spikes that are all linked to a lever in the main fortress. Force Turtle to catch turtles to eat (sustainably harvesting them; this means starving him if the turtles get too low). He has to drink from the lake, too. And he should craft turtle shell armor from the turtles he catches. Every year or so (with a few years for him to get a head start), have someone pull the lever and impale him as he walks through the path. He will be forced to catch turtles and starve himself if he wants to live, and craft as good armor as he can get if he doesn't want to be impaled. Have a small channel where he can dump his old armor, and thus be useful. If he is impaled and injured to the point where he cannot work, make a 1-wide floor over the lake, build a bed on it, have someone enter and drag him into the bed, and deconstruct a floor on the path. He will drown in the lake that gave him life. Once he dies (through drowning, impalation or whatnot), recover his body if necessary, then bury him in a Royal tomb with as much turtle bone/shell decoration as possible (make sure to put all his creations in there; possibly have him produce some sort of turtle-bone studded things to decorate it).

+1 for this.

It seems to me that he needs incurable brain or spinal damage.

I'm going to challenge myself to use sentence this in a conversation in real life.

I approve this message.

[Satarus]

I prefer the whole "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MONTRESOR!" bit as punishment, but that's me.

[The Dog Delusion]

Quick update...

Turtle had a secretive mood, and ended up crafting a piece of rather lame armor...but he is now my "chief armorsmith" on account of being the only legendary armorer. I replaced all of my military's armor with top-quality stuff, and I have to say, my anger has subsided...a bit.

[kilakan]

hah, turtle now makes armor so your military can wear shells just like turtles!!!

[GrafZeppelin]

How long has it been since you first took notice of him?

[NRN_R_Sumo1]

Turtle shall now forge the greatest turtle plate armor on the planet.

[Sutremaine]

Turtle had a secretive mood, and ended up crafting a piece of rather lame armor...but he is now my "chief armorsmith" on account of being the only legendary armorer. I replaced all of my military's armor with top-quality stuff, and I have to say, my anger has subsided...a bit.

Lucky, lucky dwarf.

[Cheddarius]

Idea! Have an immigrant wave socialize with him, one by one, and then force him to armor for each one. Have them run around and have him spike them some predetermined number of times - if he fails to craft good armor, he is forced to mass murder his dearest friends. Even if he crafts masterwork, he impales them repeatedly, and probably has to care for all of them; then if he doesn't care well enough, they die.

[Argonnek]

I'd hate to burst your bubble, but turtle shell armor uses the bonecarving skill, not armorer. Also, only vermin drop shells, so modding turtles to be a size larger makes them only drop bones.

[kilakan]

It was turtle armor in the figuaritive sense, he's still making it out of metal, it's just like a "shell" for dwarves. 

[The Architect]

You can't stretch it much farther than that Kilakin.

[SkyRender]

 This topic has truly shown that we are far worse than the nobles we so loathe.  When a noble is dissatisfied, they punish a random usually-innocent Dwarf with prison time or a swift death.  When we are dissatisfied, we severely punish one or more almost-always-innocent Dwarves with a horribly prolonged and painful death or a lifetime of suffering, and the victim is lucky if he is the only one who suffers.  Even worse, our mandates are the ones that get "violated" the most often, meaning we do the most arbitrary punishing.

 We're more than just Armok.  We are the most demanding and vindictive nobles of the lot on top of all that.

[expwnent]

When a noble is dissatisfied, they punish a random usually-innocent Dwarf with prison time or a swift death.  When we are dissatisfied, we severely punish one or more almost-always-innocent Dwarves with a horribly prolonged and painful death or a lifetime of suffering, and the victim is lucky if he is the only one who suffers.

While that is true, at least we provide the service of managing all the dwarves so that they don't all die. Take the player away from (almost) any fortress, and it will crumble. Take the nobles away from the fortress and it works just fine.

[SkyRender]

While that is true, at least we provide the service of managing all the dwarves so that they don't all die. Take the player away from (almost) any fortress, and it will crumble. Take the nobles away from the fortress and it works just fine.

 At least when the player is watching the fort.  Forts made during worldgen survive just fine without our ever-present gaze.  It is only when we force them to build a fortress that Dwarves suddenly need us to guide them.