OHGODAGAIN
1.Sluts became extinct in England in 1486.
2.Women shoplift four times more frequently than sluts!
3.The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of sluts is blue.
4.Sluts were banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
5.Four-fifths of the surface of sluts is covered in water!
6.India tested its first nuclear sluts in 1974.
7.Finding sluts on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck.
8.Sluts can not regurgitate.
9.There are more than two hundred different kinds of sluts.
10.Ideally, sluts should be stored on their side at a temperature of 55 degrees.
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? I CANT STAHP!
1.While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their children.
2.Children can't drink - they absorbs water from their surroundings by osmosis!
3.In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become children on New Year's Day.
4.Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing children.
5.About one tenth of children are permanently covered in ice.
6.During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear children had to pay a special children tax.
7.Children once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest!
8.If you toss children 10000 times, they will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because their head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.
9.The only planet that rotates on its side is children.
10.The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of children is blue!
OBAMA
1.The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Obama.
2.Obama is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons.
3.Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Obama in a day.
4.Women shoplift four times more frequently than Obama.
5.Obama cannot burp - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in his stomach!
6.Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Obama'!
7.The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Obama!
8.By tradition, a girl standing under Obama cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
9.Obamaomancy is the art of telling the future with Obama!
10.The most dangerous form of Obama is the bicycle.
TOADY ONE!
1.Toady One can squeeze his entire body through a hole the size of his beak.
2.The only Englishman to become Toady One was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Toady One from 1154 to 1159!
3.Toady Oneicide is the killing of Toady One.
4.Toady One can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time!
5.More people are killed by Toady One each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
6.Toady One kept at the window will keep vampires at bay.
7.A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Toady One.
8.The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on Toady One.
9.Toady Oneomancy is the art of telling the future with Toady One.
10.In Vermont, the ratio of cows to Toady One is 10:1.
THIS IS GETTING REALLY BAD
1.Finding vagina on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck!
2.Czar Paul I banished vagina to Siberia for marching out of step!
3.The only Englishman to become vagina was Nicholas Breakspear, who was vagina from 1154 to 1159.
4.If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn into vagina.
5.Vagina is the sacred animal of Thailand!
6.Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw vagina into a volcano it would stop erupting.
7.Plato believed that the souls of melancholy people would be reincarnated into vagina.
8.Astronauts get taller when they are in vagina.
9.The deepest part of vagina is over 35,000 feet deep.
10.Native Americans never actually ate vagina; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
Obligatory
1.Most bottles and jars contain at least twenty-five percent recycled penis!
2.Penis cannot jump!
3.Abraham Lincoln, who invented penis, was the only US president ever granted a patent!
4.Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on penis.
5.If you put a drop of liquor on penis, it will go mad and sting itself to death.
6.Ostriches stick their heads in penis not to hide but to look for water.
7.Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are penis.
8.The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of penis is blue.
9.Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than penis.
10.Over half of Americans are officially penis.