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[Radio Controlled]

I totally want to loot that Press with you, Radio.
We'll instantly go from fake sensationalist newsies to real sensationalist newsies.
Though ... maybe during the war sensationalism wasn't the route to go? People wanted comfort and encouragement more than shock and gossip. Maybe. Maybe both. Whatever, Ed's an opportunist when it comes to newsprint, apparently.

Wow, I never knew Ed was such a champion of the right to a free press!
(By which I mean, the right to get a press for free.)

As to the subject matter of our paper, I'm sure there's a market for first-hand accounts of our wartime exploits. We'll have it all: action, excitement and the occasional humorous interlude. The only thing missing is some steaming romantic side plot, but I'm sure Tala could deliver on that front. Or perhaps Alice and Simon could fill that role?

[Ozarck]

You heard him, guys! Commence Operation Steamy Sideplots!

[Ozarck]

...

Suddenly I am tempted to pose as a Jehova's Witness or Hari Krishna or something and go knocking on the Germans' door.

[Imic]

How does one join this? Does any of this make sense? Do I need to read an immense book of rules? Will I survive?
My expected answers to these questions, by the way, are, in order;
By begging, nope, almost certainly, and probably not.

[syvarris]

In order:  Post a character sheet and ask where you are, all insanity follows patterns, the points are made up and the rules don't matter, and probably not.

Congratulations!  You get an F, for Failure!  You'll fit right in.

[Doomblade187]

In order:  Post a character sheet and ask where you are, all insanity follows patterns, the points are made up and the rules don't matter, and probably not.

Congratulations!  You get an F, for Failure!  You'll fit right in.

Exactly! For example, we were told not to run in and shoot everyone. And to take then alive.

Oops.

[Radio Controlled]

How does one join this? Does any of this make sense? Do I need to read an immense book of rules? Will I survive?
My expected answers to these questions, by the way, are, in order;
By begging, nope, almost certainly, and probably not.

Well, there's some prerequisites before you can join, but most of those shouldn't be too hard, more like formalities. One important thing we need to know, though, is how good is your German accent?

[Egan_BW]

How does one join this? Does any of this make sense? Do I need to read an immense book of rules? Will I survive?
My expected answers to these questions, by the way, are, in order;
By begging, nope, almost certainly, and probably not.

1: Grab a character sheet from the OP, fill it out, post it in the thread so that PW can see it.
2: Most assuredly not, though that can be said of a lot of things so it's not really relevant here.
3: The rules aren't actually very long, but here's what you need to know: you've got numbers attached to stats and skill-type things. The bigger those are, the better. But they still won't save you from critfails or overshots, and don't actually increase your overall chance of success at level 1. So don't worry too much about those. "Risk" is code for "hitpoints" and there's little point in caring more about them than that. "GLORY" is your experience, you get that by doing GLORIOUS things and can spend it to improve your stat-numbers or get new gear. You probably can't afford anything truly exciting.
4: Depends how far away you're standing when shit hits the fan. Personally I recommend being a few miles away, eating a sandwich.

[Ozarck]

How does one join this? Does any of this make sense? Do I need to read an immense book of rules? Will I survive?
My expected answers to these questions, by the way, are, in order;
By begging, nope, almost certainly, and probably not.

Well, there's some prerequisites before you can join, but most of those shouldn't be too hard, more like formalities. One important thing we need to know, though, is how good is your German accent?

We also need to kow what kind of pies you are allergic to. It's important for the war effort.

[Ozarck]

Let me reiterate, for those who may be confused as to the state of things:

"RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!!!!"

Spoiler: What? Why? (click to show/hide)

Three things:
1) PW changed the name of the thread
2) Your demolitions man is running away.
3) I didn't even need to make an action to start running - PW has Ed running as a direct result of an action
4) Your explosives expert is running away.
5) booby Traps.

Radio, this failed roll might actually trump your failed diplomacy roll with the German in the bar. That one was at least salvageable.

[Doomblade187]

@Tiriun: you could add a conditional to throw any explosives out of the press room into the sitting room if that would work.

[Radio Controlled]

Radio, this failed roll might actually trump your failed diplomacy roll with the German in the bar. That one was at least salvageable.

Heh, yeh, it's quite spectacular to roll a 1 now of all times. But, not much to do about it, bad rolls be bad. I guess now we just hope to not get exploded into bits, escape ground zero and wait for Bone to flay us alive as an example to the next batch of recruits.

Alternatively, Tala manages to defuse the 'splosives at the very last second, but that sounds like grasping at increasingly improbable straws (then again, pw might be nice to her and not explode her completely).

@Tiriun: you could add a conditional to throw any explosives out of the press room into the sitting room if that would work.

In that case she better manage to hit a passing school bus full of war orphans when she chucks those explosives of unknown intensity out of a window in a city, or else this cock-up of a mission might not be complete.

[Radio Controlled]

Question, could my lightning rifle be used to melt that printing press into unrecognizable slag?

((B-but if you're slagging the thing anyway, what did Tala just very dramatically risk her life to save?))

Just checking really. I mean, these were our objectives:

"We've tracked the paper's distribution back to this area, but we're not sure where it originates from beyond that. I'm an old sailor; this urban skullduggery is not my strong suit. I need you lot to find these spies and shut them down without raising alarm in the area. A public gunfight or raid of some german sympathizing newsmen is bad, but admitting to the existence of German spies in the city is worse.

You'll be given police uniforms for this operation, and during it you are to make no mention of the paper. Instead, say you are hunting for counterfeiters. The needs of a counterfeiter and a printer are similar, large amounts of ink and paper, a printing press, custom etched plates, an so forth, so you should be able to investigate without drawing too much attention. And when you find the printers, try to take them with a limited amount of force. Cover story or not, a firefight in an apartment building is something we wish to avoid.

We don't really need to recover the press, far as I can see, just shut down the operation covertly. While doing this quietly already went, uhh, out the window, we should probably still get rid of the press one way or another (so steal or slag) and get rid of the bodies, and dispose of other clues that could let the police realize German spies were operating here.

[Ozarck]

remember our cover story is counterfeiters. Just get rid of the actual printings, and allow no civilians inside. When asked, the explosion was caused by a gas leak from the illegal chemicals used in teh counterfeiting operation.

Edit: this is the story Ed would come up with, were he not ... Ed.

[syvarris]

((Nothing of operational value, to be sure.  In fact she only made everything harder for everyone.  Except Simon and Alice, of course~))

((This sounds so mean to me! Why are you all in a restaurant anyway?! What happened to overwatch or looking out for your teammates before there's any confirmation of a battle being finished? WHY are you two even away from the site of operations?! >_>

Also why is there no mention of any civilians outside to the bush-hiding team?))

Sorry Tir, I didn't intend that as an insult.  To be completely fair, I myself hadn't realized that saving the printer was a bad idea until Radio pointed it out after the fact.  And you did do something arguably worthwhile--you saved the building from burning down, and therefore saved a lot of civilians, though that's completely meaningless in terms of mission objectives.

Anyway, I abandoned the sniping position because Simon was of no value up there.  He couldn't interfere in the fight regardless of its status, since the window was full of smoke, and I actually did wait for your confirmation of all hostiles being dead before I left.  At that point our mission was complete, and the only thing left to do was to dismantle or destroy the printing press, and then flee before the police arrive, neither of which Simon could help with.  Unless you wanted him to open fire on civilian police to provide a distraction, which he would refuse to do for a myriad of reasons.

Simon and alive left because the only mission goal left that they could contribute to was "Leave before police arrive", which they have now completed with flying colors.

On that topic, you should probably really not be trying to pass yourself off as police, considering how you don't act like police, you don't look like police, the actual police had no intelligence that something like this was going to happen, and most importantly: part of your mission was specifically to not let the police find out that this was a government hit.  Which is the only reasonable explanation aside from you being ridiculously supplied criminals or terrorists.

So yeah.  You should really be fleeing ASAP if you want to avoid failing the mission or butchering civilian cops, because those are really looking like your only options if you stay.

^{_{...Oh, and there is no bush-hiding team.  I cleared that up with Piecewise pretty quick, Simon was on a rooftop, not in a bush.  The other people who Piecewise shoved there decided being indoors would be more fun.}}