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[wierd]

The fact that the mere thought of sex repulses me is probably an indication that I'm asexual, on further reflection.

Cheers bro. Join the club.

If anything, I find the constant "But I NEEEEEEEEEEEED to have (insert gregariously sexual behavior here) Or I will explode!" behavior of basically all sexual people (regardless of orientation) quite tedious.  Yes. You guys have sex. That's nice. I am sorry that you are hopelessly enslaved by your hormones. Please stop trying to tell me about how your self-identity revolves around what kind of sex you have. Next you will tell me that your self-identity revolves around what clothes you wear, or what foods you eat, rather than WHO you are as a person. Nice. So good to meet you. Now have a nice day, and go away.

I am attracted to beautiful minds. I am not attracted to boobies, asses, crotches, or any other physical attribute. Do you have a strong, independent personality, with a clever, inventive imagination? Odds are, I will find you very attractive, but not in a sexual way. Do you harp endlessly about how you like Tits and Ass? Odds are I will be repulsed by this, and want to distance myself from you.

Not that you do those things Doze, just saying that I too find the very idea of sex repulsive, and am disturbed by how much people fixate on the act.

What size fedora do you wear?

I don't. I hate wearing hats, they mess with my ability to sense what is behind me. I suspect this is related to hearing, but I dunno.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

The fact that the mere thought of sex repulses me is probably an indication that I'm asexual, on further reflection.

Cheers bro. Join the club.

If anything, I find the constant "But I NEEEEEEEEEEEED to have (insert gregariously sexual behavior here) Or I will explode!" behavior of basically all sexual people (regardless of orientation) quite tedious.  Yes. You guys have sex. That's nice. I am sorry that you are hopelessly enslaved by your hormones. Please stop trying to tell me about how your self-identity revolves around what kind of sex you have. Next you will tell me that your self-identity revolves around what clothes you wear, or what foods you eat, rather than WHO you are as a person. Nice. So good to meet you. Now have a nice day, and go away.

Well, that's hardly true for everyone. I mean, not every non-asexual person has a strong libido. And "I go insane without sex; i.e., I am psychologically addicted to it" is not the same as "my identity revolves around who I have sex with."

I am attracted to beautiful minds. I am not attracted to boobies, asses, crotches, or any other physical attribute.

...if I aesthetically favour girls slightly over boys, as long as I'm not interested in sticking myself into them, that could still be asexuality, right?

Do you have a strong, independent personality, with a clever, inventive imagination? Odds are, I will find you very attractive, but not in a sexual way.

And thus want to be in a relationship with them! Aha!

Do you harp endlessly about how you like Tits and Ass? Odds are I will be repulsed by this, and want to distance myself from you.

except this doesn't describe everybody

Not that you do those things Doze, just saying that I too find the very idea of sex repulsive, and am disturbed by how much people fixate on the act.

Indeed. I often use the indefinite you, and am misinterpreted as speaking directly to someone.

@hatstuff: I think he was saying that you were SUPER EDGY.

[TempAcc]

HELLO HUMANS

I HAVE COME FROM THE MAGICAL LAND OF SEXUALITYPROFESSIONAL WRESTLING TO TEACH YOU THE BABY STEPS TOWARDS BODY CONTACT EXPERIMENTATION AND POSSIBLE ATTRACTION IDENTIFICATION

STEP 1:

FIND HUMAN

STEP 2:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

REPEAT UNTIL ENOUGH DATA IS ACQUIRED

[wierd]

Lol!

No, if a human did that I would freak the hell out, and demand they leave.

Want to discuss deep intellectual topics, like comparing and contrasting Kant and Nietzsche? Fantastic!

Doze:
No, not all sexual people do that, no. However, nearly all have great difficulty with the concept of being sexless, and not feeling deficient about it. If I had a dollar for the number of times I've been asked about masturbation... Yeesh.

And yeah, the grey area of asexuality is bigger than just my version of it, much like any other orientation. There us both romantic and nonronantic asexuality, as well as aesthetic biased flavors. I don't have a real preference for gender, I have personality preferences, and honestly feel I could have a nonphysical romantic crush on either gender, as long as they had beautiful minds, and strong, independent personalities. This is not true of all asexuals.

From the discussion, I take it you are still young. Me? I am 37, and the hormones turned on years ago, as evidenced by the beard on my face.  It really didn't change much in my case. If I were suddenly going to lose my mind and chase after something, I think it would have happened by now.

You might find you just have a weak libido, instead of no libido, like me. That's fine, as long as you are comfortable with it.

The world likes to make a big to-do about gender expectations, but I find this is usually tied to transparent marketing, and mental laziness.  Normative females are marketed jewelry, cosmetics, shapely clothes, fancy shoes, etc.  Normative men are pitched "male enhancement", ads for tittybars, gruff merchandising for mechanical things, and the like. People expect these generic mental shapes, and get all confused and disturbed when something different shows up.

I dislike the " pink aisle madness" and "testosterone man!" Archetype roles. I also dislike the "metrosexual man", " butch girl", "raging Queen", and " burly letcherous gay man" archetypes being portrayed.

I much prefer the way people relate to food in thus respect. Does liking candy mean anything particular about you? No. Does liking pizza? No.

Why does your preference in sexual partners need to have such baggage?

I see no compelling reason, other than people just being strange about overhyping how good their sex is, and how strange that other kind of sex is.

[spümpkin]

I know next-to-nobody who actually follows those stereotypes though.

Because people are extremely multifaceted :v

Not wanting to argue, and I do agree with you on some level, although I personally think nothing wrong of discussing sexual preferences. Do you like pizza? Yes? If you want to talk about your favourite pizza, go ahead. Doesn't define who you are, because not every conversation has to be about things that define us. Talking about pizza all the time would be boring, but as said before, people are multifaceted.

also platonic snoogles r great

[wierd]

All too often I find people fixate though.

And yes, much like listening to Violet from the chocolate factory harp about gum all day gets tedious, hearing people harp about sex, or nudge you to ask if "you saw that" as somebody walks by is equally exhausting.

[Criptfeind]

Why does your preference in sexual partners need to have such baggage?

I see no compelling reason, other than people just being strange about overhyping how good their sex is, and how strange that other kind of sex is.

Although it's certainly not required, I think the distinction of why for some people this is important (and validly so!) is easy enough to see. Our relations to other people is (for many people, maybe even most people) one of the or the most important aspect of our being. And sexuality is directly tied into that. As an aside I think this is a perfectly valid way to view ourselves and our place in the world.

Ultimately sex and sexual attributes are important, not to everyone, but to some people, and that's enough, and they are as completely valid a thing to put importance on as "personally" or "imagination"

And, furthermore, simply dismissing "basically all sexual people" as "hopelessly enslaved by your hormones" is really just somewhat thoughtlessly dismissing completely valid ways to view the world (not to mention saying that basically all sexual people are annoying about their sexuality is frankly nothing more then an inaccurate insult.) and placing one's own behaviors/desires in others driven by essentially the same processes (Why is the pleasure you derive from someones personality more valid then the pleasure that someone else derives from someones body?) on some type of pedestal. Ultimately it all drives down to people being pleasured by things.

[wierd]

For one, it objectifies people when you look at their bodies, and not thier beings.

it blinds you to stunning things you would otherwise notice about people, like how horrible that devil in prada really is (but damn does she look hawt!), or how amazing that dumpy fat guy is aside from looking fat and dumpy.

it causes you to stare at asses and breasts intead of talking to people.
it makes people feel violated when a group oogles from across the room.
many pathologies.

and, it gives a negative body image complex its power to destroy truly beautiful people.

then there is the whole "i cant wear pink, thats a fucking gay assed color! i gotta wear a mans color, like black."  and similar pathologies, like "being smart isnt womanly, so i wont persue my childhood dream of being a scientist." and pals.

smart, independent woman scientist is freaking hawt. flaunt that methyl blue stained labcoat! woo!


as for the statement about being enslaved by hormones being offensive, just ask all your friends if they think they could go a week without sex. a month? a year?

you will find that most cant even go 3 days without it. that's pretty damned hooked.

[Criptfeind]

None of these are objective fact as to the inferiority of certain types of attraction. They are possible negative consequences of of negative actions tied to an over reliance on a viewpoint. It's true that in our society with an over reliance on certain criteria for attraction and biases that these are issues that have arisen, but it does not follow that your personal criteria is superior because of the existence of these issues.

[wierd]

i think you are reading too much into this, and making the leap from how i see the world, to my asserting that the world would be better if nobody was driven by sexual attraction.

no, i am saying that i get annoyed by people that base thier core, internal identity on external things, like what genitals they have, or what society expects from them.

that is an assertion of personal preference, which i have reasons fr, even though i really dont need them.

a person can like getting it on with women, and that is fine, just like liking to chew gum is fine. but fixating on that to the point where it shapes what you do, say, wear, or how you would otherwise act, is bordering on mental illness, and i wont justify that for you.  you can like those things without being a slave to them, and wihout constantly seeking outside reinforcement.  you dont need me to tell you that your attraction to that random woman is normal, by asking me if i found her hot too. really, i did not even notice her, and dont want to have such a conversation. if you found her hot, smile, and enjoy what you saw, just leave me out of it. 



 

[Criptfeind]

i think you are reading too much into this, and making the leap from how i see the world, to my asserting that the world would be better if nobody was driven by sexual attraction.

no, i am saying that i get annoyed by people that base thier core, internal identity on external things, like what genitals they have, or what society expects from them.

No, my last post was purely directed towards what I perceived was your notion that your preferences were more valid then certain other peoples preferences. As for your annoyance and lack of understanding for the reasons why people biased their identities on external things, I addressed that in my first post on this subject, and since you didn't (as far as I'm aware, it's impossible to tell for sure without quotes but from what I was able to infer from your response. From what I can see your response post was all directed at my question of why your type of pleasure is more valid) actually object to the reasoning I put forward, I had figured you either had come to an understanding on the matter or decided you didn't want to pursue it further.

that is an assertion of personal preference, which i have reasons fr, even though i really dont need them.

You probably should have defensible reasons for your thoughts and feelings, at least ones that you allow to influence your external actions, otherwise you'd be acting irrationally.

[wierd]

Not really. I have contemplated that pretty strongly.

Say you don't like asparagus. Do you really need a reason for not liking it? Say you love it instead, do you really need a reason, other than that you love it?

Preferences are just that. You don't need reasons for them.

[Criptfeind]

I must admit I immediately regret this aside, as it's wholly inappropriate for this thread and not really an important part of the conversation we were having. I'll just leave it at agree to disagree the needing reasons for actions for rationality side.

[wierd]

A preference is not an action. It is a reason for an action.

'I will eat popcorn today' is an action.

I favor eating popcorn "because I like popcorn", over eating said popcorn " because I am watching a movie". There are any number of things you can eat when watching a movie, including nothing at all, but the ultimate reason to eat popcorn is that you enjoy eating popcorn.

[Shadowlord]

it blinds you to stunning things you would otherwise notice about people, like how horrible that devil in prada really is (but damn does she look hawt!), or how amazing that dumpy fat guy is aside from looking fat and dumpy.

Not in my experience.

it causes you to stare at asses and breasts intead of talking to people.

I like to look in people's eyes.

and, it gives a negative body image complex its power to destroy truly beautiful people.

Because they aren't being ogled? Oh, I expect you probably mean beautiful minds.

then there is the whole "i cant wear pink, thats a fucking gay assed color! i gotta wear a mans color, like black."  and similar pathologies, like "being smart isnt womanly, so i wont persue my childhood dream of being a scientist." and pals.

idgi
I don't feel constrained to or away from particular colors. I particularly like red.

smart, independent woman scientist is freaking hawt. flaunt that methyl blue stained labcoat! woo!

Strong women in general are hot! Whether mentally or physically.

as for the statement about being enslaved by hormones being offensive, just ask all your friends if they think they could go a week without sex. a month? a year?

I've gone 34 years without sex~
Voluntarily
But I am not averse to the possibility.

Spoiler: off topic food preferences (click to show/hide)

Not really. I have contemplated that pretty strongly.

Say you don't like asparagus. Do you really need a reason for not liking it? Say you love it instead, do you really need a reason, other than that you love it?

Preferences are just that. You don't need reasons for them.

I vaguely think I may have tried asparagus once and disliked it, but I have reasons for disliking things even if I don't remember them.
I don't like popcorn because it gets in my teeth and that's annoying. (Also it doesn't even taste like anything unless you add butter or w/e)
I liked root beer but don't drink it anymore because I quit drinking all soda about 16 years ago. Same for cream soda. Never really liked the taste of any other soda that I tried.
I like spinach because it isn't sometimes randomly bitter like lettuce.
I don't like things with caffeine in them, because they have caffeine in them. That's the closest thing to 'no reason'.

I expect you have a reason for liking popcorn, if you really do.