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[penguinofhonor]

Man, I already know about most of my friends' sex lives and this is comically untrue. Are you basing this "can't go without sex for three days" thing on college freshmen?

[Criptfeind]

Well, at least that'd have about the same validity of most psychology experiments.

[penguinofhonor]

A) most psychology experiments are performed on undergrads

B) people lie very often on surveys about their sex lives

[Solifuge]

Spoiler: Just to make a few points on the derail discussion: (click to show/hide)

1. When people turn to you and say "Wasn't that person hot?" what they're saying isn't "Is my attraction to that person normal? Do you approve of my feelings?" They're trying to bond with and understand you. They share their opinions with you so you'll understand that part of who they are and what they're into, in hopes that you'll share your feelings and they can get to know you in return. They're seeking to build mutual understanding and common ground. They're socializing.

2. I think it's important to try to understand and appreciate different people's viewpoints, different ways of life, and the reasons and motives behind each individual's feelings and choices. I think judging people for having different viewpoints than you, especially when you don't care to understand the reasons for those viewpoints, is silly.

3. Being able to appreciate aesthetic beauty, enjoying physicality and sex, liking the sound of someone's voice, or whatever else does not somehow exclude people from being able to appreciate someone's kindness, scientific aptitude, tenacity, or other personality traits. There's absolutely nothing exclusive or binary about being able to appreciate extrinsic beauty versus intrinsic beauty, and drawing a distinction between them- as though you have to pick one or the other- is silly.

4. I gotta agree. Actions or beliefs without reasons are a bad habit at the very least, and opening yourself up to irrational and harmful behavior at worst. If we're using whether or not you like Asparagus as a metaphor, there's kids who would say "I don't like it" without having ever tried it. What if they really would like the taste, or learned that it's got a lot of nutritional value that'll keep them healthy, and yet still refused to eat it for no reason? Even if it's not doing serious harm, it's still lowering their quality of life, and doing that for no purpose. This is one simple reason why Reasons are important.

[wierd]

it blinds you to stunning things you would otherwise notice about people, like how horrible that devil in prada really is (but damn does she look hawt!), or how amazing that dumpy fat guy is aside from looking fat and dumpy.

Not in my experience.

maybe i am clairvoyant or empathic or something, but it most certainly is mine.

it causes you to stare at asses and breasts intead of talking to people.

I like to look in people's eyes.

me too. i also like to hear what people really think, and dispense with all the aires and masks.

and, it gives a negative body image complex its power to destroy truly beautiful people.

Because they aren't being ogled? Oh, I expect you probably mean beautiful minds.

yes and no. a beautiful person is beautiful because they are genuinely transcendent. say, mother theresa. i doubt anyone here without a fetish would say she was physically attractive, but she was a genuinely beautiful person. a person need not be famous to be beautiful like that. a beautiful soul shines through anything.

then there is the whole "i cant wear pink, thats a fucking gay assed color! i gotta wear a mans color, like black."  and similar pathologies, like "being smart isnt womanly, so i wont persue my childhood dream of being a scientist." and pals.

idgi
I don't feel constrained to or away from particular colors. I particularly like red.

see the term, "machismo"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machismo

then re-evaluate things like "truck nuts", the dos equis 'most interesting man', and yes, getting all crazy over a man wearing pink.  this is not my imagination.

smart, independent woman scientist is freaking hawt. flaunt that methyl blue stained labcoat! woo!

Strong women in general are hot! Whether mentally or physically.

strong PEOPLE are hot. the gender is not really important. however, the "brains arent sexy on women" trope is sadly very real (or at least, still ruining lives and dreams), and seeing it rejected is sexy as hell.

as for the statement about being enslaved by hormones being offensive, just ask all your friends if they think they could go a week without sex. a month? a year?

I've gone 34 years without sex~
Voluntarily
But I am not averse to the possibility.

celebacy is rare. like, 1% of the population, just as good a chance as meeting mark cuban, rare.
cherry picking and all that.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[spoiler=off topic food preferences]

Not really. I have contemplated that pretty strongly.

Say you don't like asparagus. Do you really need a reason for not liking it? Say you love it instead, do you really need a reason, other than that you love it?

Preferences are just that. You don't need reasons for them.

I vaguely think I may have tried asparagus once and disliked it, but I have reasons for disliking things even if I don't remember them.
I don't like popcorn because it gets in my teeth and that's annoying. (Also it doesn't even taste like anything unless you add butter or w/e)
I liked root beer but don't drink it anymore because I quit drinking all soda about 16 years ago. Same for cream soda. Never really liked the taste of any other soda that I tried.
I like spinach because it isn't sometimes randomly bitter like lettuce.
I don't like things with caffeine in them, because they have caffeine in them. That's the closest thing to 'no reason'.

I expect you have a reason for liking popcorn, if you really do.

[/quote]

i like the taste and texture of buttered popcorn. no other reaason. when i want some, i pop it and eat it.

[TempAcc]

:U thats why I keep telling people to try things before they decide its not for them.

Sure, there's the social interaction part, and thats pretty important (well, I guess it depends on each person's feelings and tastes, for me its pretty damn important anyway), and yea it can be pretty awkward, BUT HEY, its basically supposed to be pretty awkward unless magic happens, so if you want to try it, you'll just have to deal with it. Its a barrier for many people, though.

Maybe its really not for you, but it might be! And its not like drugs in which there's a very obvious and proven downside to even trying (and its not illegal unless you have some very specific tastes, in which case I invite you to visit the closest psychiatrist). Life's scary, people are scary, but scary things can be pretty enjoyable once you get past the first few bumps, kinda like DF :U _{(jesus infinite christ I just made a DF sex analogy someone please find me in the next life and punch me)}

So yea. Do the impossible, see the invisible, row row, fight the butt.

[Shadowlord]

Mother Teresa?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/krithika-varagur/mother-teresa-was-no-saint_b_9470988.html

[Solifuge]

Wierd, if I may point you to the spoiler I just posted? You dun gotta reply, but it was largely for you.

a beautiful person is beautiful because they are genuinely transcendent. say, mother theresa. i doubt anyone here without a fetish would say she was physically attractive, but she was a genuinely beautiful person. a person need not be famous to be beautiful like that. a beautiful soul shines through anything.

When she was an appropriate age for the majority of this forum's members, she was pretty dang Conventionally Attractive actually.
That's not to say that she didn't have problematic personality traits and prejudices, according to Shadowlord's link, though. That's unfortunate. :I

Anyway, beauty comes in a lot of forms both internal and external, and either are great.

[wierd]

Interesting. I was unaware of that side of her. However, the articles author is not understanding the concept of being mendicant.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mendicant_orders

it is also important to seperate the woman, from her order.

less beauiful, but still not as ugly as depicted, and the article goes through great pains to dispel the aura of beauty she presented. if not the actual person, examine the concept sshe represented in terms of such beauty.

also, very much pegged an 11 sized ad hominem.

[wierd]

Wierd, if I may point you to the spoiler I just posted? You dun gotta reply, but it was largely for you.

a beautiful person is beautiful because they are genuinely transcendent. say, mother theresa. i doubt anyone here without a fetish would say she was physically attractive, but she was a genuinely beautiful person. a person need not be famous to be beautiful like that. a beautiful soul shines through anything.

When she was an appropriate age for the majority of this forum's members, she was pretty dang Conventionally Attractive actually.
That's not to say that she didn't have problematic personality traits and prejudices, according to Shadowlord's link, though. That's unfortunate. :I

Anyway, beauty comes in a lot of forms both internal and external, and either are great.

from your spoiler--

1) i can accept that the first time i meet somebody, and they do it. however, when i tell them that i dont find anyone attractive, they do one of two things, usually. one, they will be cool with it and not ask me about such things again, or two, they will be convinced that i am sexually repressed, and need to be "liberated", or worse still, think if i try it, i will like it. {protip, i have not lived under a rock, and am not a virgin. i dont find sex appealing after trying it. i dont want you to find me a date.}

2) i agree. i also insist on reciprocity. i understand thaat other people are sexual. i want others to reciprocate that understanding, and not wax philosophical about how awesome that gay 4some was last night, and no, i dont want to see pictures. {true story. really happened.}

3) i have seen  "the ugly girl" get excluded from everything more often than you can count. there is also real research that less attractive people get passed up for jobs, get less pay, and get hassled needlessly, despite being better qualified, being more essential to productivity, and being good people. the world fixates on physical hotness way too much, and yes, this demonstrably blinds people.

4) i always try things to see if i do indeed dislike it.  the kid refusing the asparagus is not making a decision on known preferences, but instead on "reasons".  eg, "asparagus is a vegetable, and vegetaables are gross tasting, so i wont try it, and assert it is gross tasting." this is not the same as "i dont like asparagus", which is a true statement after tryig it, and not liking it.

[TempAcc]

Pah, madre Theresa, I still remember  that dear xavier lost the Nobel prize to her. I guess her work was simply too relevant at the time.

[Criptfeind]

Fuckit then. This is now the asparagus thread, Dozebôm if you would be so kind to change the title.

"I don't like Asparagus" could or could not be a true statement, but it's not a rational statement or a valid statement.

"I don't like Asparagus because I have an informed dislike of the taste" could or could not be a true statement, but it's a rational and valid statement.

Of course this metaphor is pretty ridiculous because most of the time we don't really need to know your reason for disliking a food, indeed, we don't need your reasoning for disliking most things, so long as it's easy enough for us to conceive why you dislike something and the reason doesn't actually matter we can simply fill in the blanks with our imagination, it's not perfect, but for many things it'd better then giving a background for all the obvious and non important reasoning.

The important bit of what I said was that when you don't have such a reason in the back (As you claimed you did not need!), your feeling is irrational, even if it's true. If your actions are informed by that feeling, then your actions are irrational, even if they turn out to be the correct action to have taken.

[wierd]

I think there is a failure to communicate.

when I say "you dont need a reason to dislike something", i mean it like this:

1) there is this thing that most people like. Let's say chocolate. its everywhere, its even cultual at valentines day. but when you eat it, it tastes horrid vile, like eating old used tampons vile. you hate it.

2) you politely decline the chocolate when offered, and people demand a reason why you hate the chocolate.

3) short of going all commander data on them, and exhaustively exploring why your tastebuds are different (which they might not be), you politely tell them that you just do not like the taste of chocolate, and really dont need a reason why, because you simply find it horrible vile.

substitute chocolate for sex, and you have me.

[Starver]

substitute chocolate for sex, and you have me.

Combine chocolate and sex, and you have messy.

(It had to be said.)

[wierd]

Only if you use syrup. Use crackle instead. must be used when cold.