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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6091698 times)

SpiritArmor

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44715 on: December 20, 2015, 08:14:56 pm »

(I like to imagine they're wearing reinforced wolf pelts and heads for armor.)

Okay, I'm not going to lie, the wolf pelts with heads make this sound really damn metal, like some stoic Viking-flavored Wild West frontier settlement drama.

"I reckon we got ourselves 'nother goblin infestation."
"Reckon so. How 'bout you take on the three on the left, and I'll take the three on the- oh."
"Huh. That's a sight more than six gobbos."
"Right, well, you take the TEN on the left, and I'll take the TEN on the right."
"You got yourself a deal, old-timer."
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44716 on: December 20, 2015, 08:24:39 pm »

(I like to imagine they're wearing reinforced wolf pelts and heads for armor.)

Okay, I'm not going to lie, the wolf pelts with heads make this sound really damn metal, like some stoic Viking-flavored Wild West frontier settlement drama.

I do so love me some metal imagery.

And those numbers are... Actually more accurate than I'd like. But the two of them have left a trail of 22 goblin corpses in their wake and the count is still mounting as the duo fight their way through the cave to reach the resource-rich caverns below. By the end, there's going to be a minimum of 30 dead goblins, with only a mangled ear in return.

One particular incident in the constant skirmishes is Iden charging down a ramp, breaking the ribs of one foe, the leg of another, and one-shotting a third, before finishing the other two by caving in a torso with his buckler and smash the other to death.

It will not even be summer, and already two soldiers will be hardened murderers.

EDIT: And not just hardened. The sight of dying sapients no longer horrifies either of them.

EDIT II: A large rat tried to pick a fight with the two dorfs who just spent the better part fo three days killing everything else in the cave. It didn't survive the encounter.

Detros

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44717 on: December 20, 2015, 08:52:32 pm »

The War Tiger bites the Titan in the Left Upper Arm, bruising the muscle and tearing the muscle
The War Tiger latches on firmly
The War Tiger #2 bites the Titan in Right Lower Arm, bruising the muscle
The War Tiger latches on firmly
The War Tiger #3 bites the Titan in the Right Upper Leg, tearing apart the muscle and bruising the bone
The War Tiger latches on firmly
The Titan punches the Axedwarf in the head, and the injured part explodes in gore

So yeah, the jerk has 3 War Tigers literally hanging from his appendages, and still casually smooshes my militia :(
Nice, send that to one of those "we draw your reports" forum threads.
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Iamblichos

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44718 on: December 20, 2015, 08:52:37 pm »

What's going on in my fort is I had a laughing fit so severe I had to leave the computer after I found a bookcase with two works on it:

"The Screw Without Limits" and
"Give Me Hardness"

I mean... come on, midgets.  Come on.
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

SpiritArmor

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44719 on: December 20, 2015, 09:25:52 pm »

One particular incident in the constant skirmishes is Iden charging down a ramp, breaking the ribs of one foe, the leg of another, and one-shotting a third, before finishing the other two by caving in a torso with his buckler and smash the other to death.

It will not even be summer, and already two soldiers will be hardened murderers.

... I think your fort has become a Quentin Tarantino film.
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cochramd

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44720 on: December 20, 2015, 09:57:06 pm »

50+ wardogs and 850+Stonefall traps....I think my fort is safe for now. Time to get the metalworkers working. First thing to do: smelt all that native aluminum and turn it into instrument components. Second thing to do once we're out of aluminum: smelt the various silver ores we have lying around and start making giant axe blades out of them until we have 300 masterworks. The weakest point in my trapline is a 5x6 block where I stuck my first mechanisms (which were low quality), so we'll upgrade that part first. Third thing to do: make steel, and from that steel shit tons of large serrated discs. Oh, and somewhere along the line we need to build bedrooms, a tavern, some libraries, some temples.....
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Amperzand

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44721 on: December 20, 2015, 10:53:41 pm »

Interestingly, my dwarves keep trying to "Give Water". I don't think any dwarves are injured, what the heck is going on?
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

FortunaDraken

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44722 on: December 20, 2015, 10:56:23 pm »

Interestingly, my dwarves keep trying to "Give Water". I don't think any dwarves are injured, what the heck is going on?
They'll do that if a dwarf gets thirsty in the middle of a job and thus can't go get a drink because he's in the middle of doing something. It's handy for when Urist McIdiot decides to carry a piece of tetrahedrite s l o w l y down 100 z-levels to the magma forges.
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I just had a "lord consort" visit and decide to stay. Preparing for Trojan war reenactment.
Protip: statues cannot be made out of wood unless they're artifacts. If you see what appears to be a wooden statue outside your fort and it's not an artifact, destroy it immediately.

Amperzand

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44723 on: December 20, 2015, 11:01:36 pm »

That's actually a really interesting feature I didn't know existed. I should probably make them an actual source of water, instead of stagnant pools, then.
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

cochramd

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44724 on: December 20, 2015, 11:20:35 pm »

My cooks refuse to touch my roc meat for some reason, even though it's perfectly fresh. We'll see if changing some kitchen settings will change that....oh look, it did.

Didn't get as many masterwork aluminum instrument pieces as I hoped, but then someone went and made an artifact instrument, so I guess my tavern will have some high quality music right off the bat.

Oh, great, someone went and made himself king.

I'm eagerly awaiting the goblins now. I know my defenses are sufficient.....by not showing up, they're putting all my effort to waste! Not to mention I'm curious to see how far they would make it before they all perished...
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AMTiger

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44725 on: December 21, 2015, 02:42:23 am »

I made my prisons too nice as the dwarfs who were convicted falsely as part of the cover up to keep the captain of the guard vampire out of trouble, are really happy about being near a masterwork chain, and a fine bed and a fine door and being in a nice room and all the rest.

Also, when I returned after retiring for a time, someone had ripped out all the containers and filled two of the levels up with water.
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Iamblichos

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44726 on: December 21, 2015, 07:46:18 am »

The world of Dalebridge contains a vile menace.  He is the scourge of the continent, slaughterer of thousands in his lust for conquest.  From his home in the Crewed Spider, he sets forth to decimate all in his path. 

His name is Bamud Declineblossom the Barricaded Orange of Wilt.

I'm sorry, it's just difficult to take that seriously.
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

Henry47

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44727 on: December 21, 2015, 08:53:44 am »

After my previous fortress was destroyed by the hidden fun stuff, i downloaded the new version and began building a new fortress on a new world. My founders quickly built a basic fort, and discovered the land below contained vast amounts of iron and coal. There seemed to be no flux(despite what the embark screen said), but they soon after discovered some marble in the carven. The process of building the true fortress began, and all seemed to be going well. Yet while the carven came, there was no outpost liaison. And as the snow melted at the end of my first winter, i got this rather surprising message.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It seems that at only a year old, my fortress is the capital of my dying civilisation.(The status screen still refers to me as a hamlet, however)

<edited for spelling>
« Last Edit: December 21, 2015, 08:29:05 pm by Henry47 »
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cochramd

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44728 on: December 21, 2015, 02:12:20 pm »

The goblins finally showed up.....right when my broker had a strange mood and claimed the magma forge! I think I'll let the gobbos kill whatever idiots go outside to get this mood complete.
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Button

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #44729 on: December 21, 2015, 02:12:56 pm »

My fort was attacked by a weresquirrel. Two idiots died.

They were a stonecrafter and a mason, and instead of grabbing rocks laying only a dozen tiles from their respective workshops, they decided to go out the fortress back-door and trek across the map to pick up microcline and kimberlite respectively from the wagon entrance. Then, instead of hightailing it back to the safezone, they continued lugging their boulders.

Turns out, the stonecrafter was part of the civilization's big family tree, and has lots of relatives at the fort. The shock of seeing Grandpa die was enough to cut through the booze-deadened nerves of his family, and caused a few to cancel their jobs. Hadn't had job cancellations due to dead things yet this version, so I'm glad to see them.

Also also, I have a bunch of hydra-worshippers in this fort, but I haven't seen anyone pray to the hydra or have any thoughts related to the hydra. Not sure if intended.
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