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[Iapetus]

A cyclops attacked my fort, massacring a lot of my livestock, before collapsing from exhaustion and allowing my militia to kill it.

Nothing particularly notable in itself, but some of the combat logs are amusingly ridiculous, especially if you try to imagine what they would actually look like.

Opening moves:
The Rattlesnake misses The Cyclops!
The Cyclops attacks The Rattlesnake by he jumps away!
The Rattlesnake misses The Cyclops!
The Cyclops punches The Rattlesnake in the tail with her left hand, bruising the scale!
The Rattlesnake misses The Cyclops!
The Cyclops charges at The Rattlesnake!
The Cyclops collides with The Rattlesnake!
The Rattlesnake is knocked overand tumples backward!
The Cyclops grabs The Rattlesnake by the right fang with her right upper arm!
The Rattlesnake misses The Cyclops!
The Cyclops takes The Rattlesnake down by the right fang The Cyclops's right upper arm!
The Rattlesnake misses The Cyclops!
The Cyclops scratches The Rattlesnake in the head an the severed part sails off in an arc!

(Quite how the rattlesnake managed to miss the cyclops when the cyclops apparently shoved her arm into its mouth, I don't know).

It then proceded to bloodily beat up my animals and poultry:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Cyclops grabs The Stray Llama by the left ear with her right hand!
The Cyclops punches The Stray Llama in the head with her left hand and the injured part explodes into gore!
...
The Cyclops grabs The Stray Alpaca by the toung with her right upper arm!
The Cyclops punches The Stray Alpaca in the head with her right hand and the injured part explodes into gore!
...
The Cyclops attacks The Buck Babbit but he jumps away!
The Cyclops punches The Buck Babbit in the head with her right hand, but the attack glances away!
Oso Unumtod Snuko Oso, Cyclops: I have improved my fighting.  That was very satisfying!
The Cyclops attacks The Buck Babbit but he jumps away!
The Cyclops punches The Buck Babbit in the right front leg with her right hand, but the attack glances away!
The Cyclops grabs The Buck Babbit by the fourth right front toe with her left lower arm!
The Cyclops charges at The Buck Rabbit!
The Cyclops collides with The Buck Rabbit!
The Buck Rabbitis knocked overand tumples backward!
The Buck Rabbit stands up.The Cyclops misses The Buck Rabbit!
The Cyclops punches The Buck Babbit in the left front leg with her left hand, but the attack glances away!
(evidently it got frustrated with its continuing failure to damage the rabbit, because at this point it decided to attack a stray bull instead, punching one of its hoves off).
...
The Cyclops punches The Hen in the upper body with her left hand, bruising the muscle and bruising the gizzard!
The Hen is propelled away by the force of the blow!...
The Cyclops grabs The Hen by the throat with her right lower leg!
The Cyclopse punches The Hen in the head with her right hand, and the injured part explodes into gore!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The Hen is propelled away by the force of the blow!...
The Cyclopse punches The Turkey Hen in the head with her right hand, and the injured part explodes into gore!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The Turkey Hen has been knocked unconscious!
The Turkey Hen is propelled away by the force of the blow!The Cyclops collapses and falls to the ground from over-exertion.
...

Until eventually my militia arrived:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Cyclops stands up.
The Cyclops grabs The Soap Industry by the x(pig tail hood)x with her right lower arm!
The Soap Industry stabs The Cyclops in the right lower arm with her =silver spear=, tearing the muscle and bruising the bone!
A ligamnt has been torn and a tendon has been torn!
The Cyclops collapses and falls to the ground from over-exertion.The Cyclops misses The Soap Industry!
The Soap Industry bites The Cyclops in the left lower leg, tearing the fat!
The Soap Industry latches on firmly!
Oso Unumtod Snuko Oso, Cyclops: Gruesome wounds!  Begone fear!
The Soap Industry stabs The Cyclops in the head with her =silver spear=, tearing the muscle!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Cyclops gives in to pain.
[several pages of dwarves battering the cyclops follow...]
The squad leader bashes The Cyclops in the head with her =silver mace=, bruising the muscle and fracturing the skull!
The squad leader bashes The Cyclops in the head with her =silver mace=, and the injured part is crushed!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
Inod Tosidothlest, leader: Death is all around us.  I am not upset by this.
Inod Tosidothlest, leader: So easily broken... This does not scare me.
Sakzul Zegonul, soap industry: Death is all around us.  I am not upset by this.
Sakzul Zegonul, soap industry: So easily broken... This does not scare me.

[Lossmar]

Waiting for a LNP for 42.03 i started simple fort in vanilla DF.

1 week after embarking, my woodcutter drowns all by himself.

Ffs .....

[Spehss _]

I just watched my civilian dwarves stream into the caverns to mob and punch a forgotten beast to death shortly after digging an opening into the caverns. I was going to test the cave in trap I had set up but nooooo, says my dwarves, we'll just beat the giant turtle to death with our bare hands. Lost 6 or 7 of them to their stupidity.

I assigned them to stay in a burrow and have no idea why they ignored it, but whatever, the beast is dead. If it was a webber or poisonous dust beast rather than just poisonous bite, I'd probably have lost the whole fort.

Wonder if this is a result of none of them getting in a brawl or any thing like that recently. They all would've had an unmet need for fighting and excitement. I guess dogpiling a giant feathered turtle counts as excitement.

[Moonshadow101]

Had a several Goblin invasions in the past few years. Since the last one, I captured a breeding pair of Giant Cave Spiders, and now I have over 30 of the damn things. I'm eagerly awaiting the next Goblin attack, but it's been two years since the last one, and at this point I might drown in spiders before they show up!

[Spehss _]

Looking over the combat logs for what I'm now going to call "The Turtlegate Incident". Found this gem.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[kingu]

Looking over the combat logs for what I'm now going to call "The Turtlegate Incident". Found this gem.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Giant Jabberer?

[Spehss _]

Giant Jabberer?

Oh yeah, that's a mod I did. Giant versions of various cave creatures.

The emphasis was to be on the dwarf's comment on being wounded. At the bottom of the image. _{^{I thought it was funny.}}

[Astrid]

Had a several Goblin invasions in the past few years. Since the last one, I captured a breeding pair of Giant Cave Spiders, and now I have over 30 of the damn things. I'm eagerly awaiting the next Goblin attack, but it's been two years since the last one, and at this point I might drown in spiders before they show up!

In the worst case cage them and sell some away if you can.

[RickRollYou2]

Had a several Goblin invasions in the past few years. Since the last one, I captured a breeding pair of Giant Cave Spiders, and now I have over 30 of the damn things. I'm eagerly awaiting the next Goblin attack, but it's been two years since the last one, and at this point I might drown in spiders before they show up!

In the worst case cage them and sell some away if you can.

I believe sentient creatures are released immediately upon being brought to the depot, so yes... do sell them for maximum !!FUN!!

[Lordhermitcrab]

Suddenly out of nowhere, all my dwarves decide that it's a great idea to completely ignore all the food that needs to be put away. Excellent.

Yes, all the fields full of withering plants, the entire refuse pile full of masterwork apple roasts and rotting fish, because of you, dwarves.

I don't know what's going down here. The food stockpile isn't even full yet.

Did you accidentally turn off 'dwarves are allowed to haul food' in the (o)ptions menu?

Yes, after looking around for a while, it does appear that SOMEHOW...somehow...I turned off hauling food. Why is that even an option?

Good thing my refuse stockpile wasn't full!

[Spehss _]

Just had a dwarf and a human visitor die in the tavern. Guess they drank too much and got alcohol poisoning, their slabs attribute their death to suffocation.

Hmmm, guess they drank so much that they passed out and vomited while passed out, which filled their lungs and caused the suffocation. Or maybe Toady set it up so drinking too much causes one to get the syndromes for passing out and suffocating. Would be much cooler if it was the former, and DF accurately simulates the experience of asphyxiating on one's own vomit from partying too hard.

I suppose idle dwarfs who spend most of their time drinking in the tavern instead of working will be weeded out of the fortress. Drink themselves to death, as it were.

[Immortal-D]

The War Tiger bites the Titan in the Left Upper Arm, bruising the muscle and tearing the muscle
The War Tiger latches on firmly
The War Tiger #2 bites the Titan in Right Lower Arm, bruising the muscle
The War Tiger latches on firmly
The War Tiger #3 bites the Titan in the Right Upper Leg, tearing apart the muscle and bruising the bone
The War Tiger latches on firmly
The Titan punches the Axedwarf in the head, and the injured part explodes in gore

So yeah, the jerk has 3 War Tigers literally hanging from his appendages, and still casually smooshes my militia

[VerdantSF]

Came back for the December release and couldn't be happier with all the new stuff! Really loving the whole tavern/resident addition. It's Year 4 of Worshipsteels and my military consists of 2 dwarves (axedwarf and hammerdwarf) and 4 humans (3 axemen and 1 crossbowman). A big thanks to Aleksanderus for posting how to create armor suitable for big ole humans!

[Fawnek]

well there i was when the forgotten beast that was a giant tick showed up! luckily it decided to kill that mob of amphibious men in my caverns before moving on... after about 5 pages of encountering 2 of my best warriors my militia commander stabbed it in the heart from underneath. upon leaving the body to rot i saw a amphibious woman apparently knocked out by a flying body, in a pool of her/her people's blood. so i sent my hammer-dwarf to finish her off naturaly...

returning from my battle i encountered 2 blind cave ogres who mercilessly murdered 2 of my best warriors before being brought down by my ax dwarf who had a child on her back.

[Ant]

Trying to handle a Weregecko infestation. I'm going to trap few obvious suspects to the first cavern floor, but I'm not sure if they're interred in time. Survivors  of next moon will get a pick, an axe and have to dig their own little empire. Maybe, in future, first layer will become a punishment system for failing me? Drop the offender to caves in full copper armor, as it seems to prevent weregeckos from killing their victim immediately, altho bite wounds still may pass curse. Then, voilá - dwarf survives, hence becoming a nice F* U WORLD- reserve, - dwarf dies, Justice served.