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[DrKillPatient]

Good fun! My platinum-minecart-powered goblin pulverizer is now constructed and entirely functional. It operates as follows: if I so desire, any creatures wishing to enter my fortress must pass through a large slate structure, 7z high, with a winding path (much like a standard dodge-me trap) at the 5z mark. The far end of the chamber houses my marksdwarves' training room behind a fortification, so any incoming invaders will get perforated upon first rounding the stairway. Any who dodge while on the bridge fall onto iron spikes. On top of that, the top two z-levels are dedicated to a complex series of gear assemblies and rollers running down to a water reactor (with the conduit nestled safely in a protective slate covering); these rollers accelerate nine platinum minecarts and drop them onto alternating ends of the the precipitous bridge (also covered in rollers, by the way), cycling every 20 ticks or so. (So as to protect the machinery, the points where the carts drop and reenter the ceiling via ramps are all protected by hatches which open only at the last moment via on-track pressure plates.) Before ascending into the ceiling, the carts slam into fortifications on the side of the tower — if they hit enemies with such force as to carry them along, the poor creatures will be shot ~10 tiles outward and fall ~5z to the ground below. It seems the minecarts, being constantly accelerated on each bridge tile, can actually combo enemies since (I suppose) they slow down briefly upon a successful strike and are immediately sped into whatever creature they've just launched forward.

Some preliminary tests indicate that the device can kill a whole squad of steel-armored dwarves in only a few cycles, though it invariably incapacitates them on the first via either falling, crushing, or occasionally impaling. Pain knockouts are virtually guaranteed unless a creature dodges or takes a silly hit (e.g. one on the cheek); the former results in impalement and/or fall damage at a height of 5z, and the latter still results in propulsion from the tower. The effect of extruding enemies out the sides is actually quite common, which is pleasant... I now hope to fashion myself a liquid simulation with goblin particles and minecart pumps.

My one worry is how trolls and other building destroyers will deal with the device; I need to make sure they can't stand on any sort of safe spots while smashing the gear assemblies (which need to be exposed, unfortunately). I think they'll end up on the tracks when doing so, but have no hard data as of now.

[Lielac]

‼Village Shieldfuture, Late Autumn 511; 60 48 46 43 40 38 37 35 33 29 26 1 beards‼

Okay. So I got bored and decided to set one of the surface trees on fire just to see what happened. Then I set everything on fire, trees and shrubs, for completeness's sake.

For my own safety, I hope I never meet you in real life.

Aw, c'mon, I only set things on fire when there aren't any consequences! (Also, you made me cackle.)

Anyway. New world, new fort.

Outpost Pricetrades, Early Winter 201; 15 beards

This fort is a 3x3, departing from my usual 2x2 plots of land. It also has three layers of soil; black sand, silt loam, and fire clay. And nobody's died yet! This time I brought a breeding pair of sheep instead of pigs, for the purposes of woolgathering. And since I've got fire clay, I'm building a wall.

I've successfully traded with the dwarven caravan, although I oopsed and changed the expedition leader without realizing that would piss off the diplomat. Eh, whatever.

[Larix]

Good fun! My platinum-minecart-powered goblin pulverizer is now constructed and entirely functional.

Nice, but you know this is massively overconstructed? I've experimented with paring minecart grinders down to the compact setups, and this design is more than sufficient (even smaller ramp-based grinders are possible, but have a limited capacity and ramp-based designs can be hard to control):

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║║║║║║.
║║║║║║.
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R- Rollers pointing inwards, one minecart per roller pair. Goblins, war dragons and merchants enter from the east. With sufficiently heavy minecarts (you can load them with ore), nothing gets through. Everything hit will get pushed into the wall and minecarts returning on the rollers still crush critters against the walls.

Due to the walls, building destroyers cannot touch the rollers without stepping on the track first.

Before ascending into the ceiling, the carts slam into fortifications on the side of the tower — if they hit enemies with such force as to carry them along, the poor creatures will be shot ~10 tiles outward and fall ~5z to the ground below. It seems the minecarts, being constantly accelerated on each bridge tile, can actually combo enemies since (I suppose) they slow down briefly upon a successful strike and are immediately sped into whatever creature they've just launched forward.

Creatures hit over flat floor usually only fly a few tiles. I think the cart throws them three or four tiles, then catches up with them before they recover (carts move _much_ faster than any creature) and gives them another nudge. Once they're over open air, they can fly a bit further to the side, because they don't get stopped by floor almost instantly.

Some preliminary tests indicate that the device can kill a whole squad of steel-armored dwarves in only a few cycles,

(double-take) You're getting attacked by steel-armoured dwarfs?

[Lielac]

Some preliminary tests indicate that the device can kill a whole squad of steel-armored dwarves in only a few cycles,

(double-take) You're getting attacked by steel-armoured dwarfs?

I strongly suspect that the preliminary tests may have involved the Overseer murdering some of their dwarves.

[ImagoDeo]

Some preliminary tests indicate that the device can kill a whole squad of steel-armored dwarves in only a few cycles,

(double-take) You're getting attacked by steel-armoured dwarfs?

I strongly suspect that the preliminary tests may have involved the Overseer murdering some of their dwarves.

Standard operating procedure.

_hehehehehe

[TheCoolSideofthePIllow]

I keep getting Forgotten Beasts made entirely of water coming in through the underground. The 1 dwarf I have guarding the door down there just keeps kicking them into mist. I am not sure if there is 1 and it keeps changing it's name or if this world generated a lot of weak, water monsters.

Update: Just spent the last hour on the stocks screen, manually selecting every broken piece of garbage my dwarves were keeping for some reason, to be dumped in the magma tubes. There has got to be a better way to clean up their filth.

[Baffler]

Farconstructed is dying, and it isn't dying quickly. I've been dealing with riots that are approaching the one year mark, and 70 civilians and 14 of my 30 man military have been killed so far. The only reason it didn't go fully to shit is that the guard cut down any berserkers quickly, and the mayor had nearly legendary social skills. I shut the gate long ago, so goblins won't be an issue, and no migrants have dared come here.

Now that the mayor's dead though, 3/4 of the dwarves who were still kicking along are miserable too. I have maybe 12 reliable minions left, mostly in the military. I've got them guarding the mason and the route to the catacombs while the two others, a metalcrafter, a mechanic, and a carpenter who just finished his mood bury the dead. I folded the remaining troops into the fortress guard, and the captain of the guard is now the mayor. They shouldn't be going insane anytime soon, but I'm worried about my civvies. Is this salvageable? Or should I abandon and reclaim?

[the1337doofus]

CobaltStricken's noble parasite vampire problem is soon to be solved with the newly constructed drowning chamber! It is a marvel of dwarven engineering, my finest accomplishment!

Wait........ bollocks. Nobles vampires don't need air. Well, at least we'll weed them out easier now. BEWARE, FOUL NIGHT CREATURES! NO LONGER SHALL YOU REIGN IN TYRANNY!

[fortydayweekend]

Wait........ bollocks. Nobles vampires don't need air. Well, at least we'll weed them out easier now.

Does this mean drowning every migrant as they arrive, and if they survive, they're a vampire?

[the1337doofus]

Wait........ bollocks. Nobles vampires don't need air. Well, at least we'll weed them out easier now.

Does this mean drowning every migrant as they arrive, and if they survive, they're a vampire?

I only go vamp hunting after a draining. Whoever has a suspicious looking bio gets the chamber. If I drowned all the migrants, I'd be quite low on masons and stone haulers. Buuut, you just gave me an idea. An evil, terrible, horrible idea. Muahahah.   

[Echostatic]

I have a little labyrinth for our resident minotaur. He gets fed goblins every now and then. One such goblin was a thief that I forgot to strip of their possessions. The minotaur killed her, picked up one of her socks, and now wields it in combat against other goblins thrown to him. He chases them down, pummels them until they pass out from pain, and then the combat report is filled with pages and pages of the minotaur repeatedly whacking the goblin in the head with the sock until they eventually die.

[SixOfSpades]

For the past few days, I've been playing FANTASY Dwarf Fortress. That's where I tally up the scores and abilities of every dwarf in the castle, and segregate them into 5 equal groups, with the goal of finding the arrangement that gives each 5th of the population optimal functionality as a completely separate, independent fort all on its own. My current "Dwarf Fortress" game is actually a couple of Notepad windows, all covered with numbers.

[ImagoDeo]

For the past few days, I've been playing FANTASY Dwarf Fortress. That's where I tally up the scores and abilities of every dwarf in the castle, and segregate them into 5 equal groups, with the goal of finding the arrangement that gives each 5th of the population optimal functionality as a completely separate, independent fort all on its own. My current "Dwarf Fortress" game is actually a couple of Notepad windows, all covered with numbers.

Did you have to split up any families?

Also, you must be a maniac. I'd go crazy trying to keep track of all the burrows and supply lines.

[Lielac]

Outpost Pricetrades, Mid-Summer 203; 54 55 beards

A migrant wave ran into a pair of goblin ambushes. Everybody got inside safely except for a one-year-old child, who's been somehow dodging everything two squads of speargoblins can stab at her. Vucar Holymanor is a skilled Dodger, competent Fighter, and adequate Armor User. If she survives to get inside the fort, she's going into my military once she becomes an adult.

Edit: Level 7 dodger. By the time she gets inside she's gonna be legendary, isn't she...? -puts on the Yakety Sax-

Edit2: Nope, wait, someone did get killed. Muthkat Boatwheel, a new migrant. Eh, nobody cares. And a beardling just got born, sooooooooo

Edit3: I'm 90% certain the reason Miss Vucar is doing so well is because she's too tiny for speargoblins to effectively attack her.

Edit4, 27th Malachite: She's flashing. She's frikkin' flashing like a legendary or an FB or any notable creature. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Edit5, 5th Galena: Fukkit. I'm sending in the marksdwarf that came with the last migrant wave.

6th Galena: Goddammit. There were goblins in the HFDP and the hunter walked right onto the bridge. Goddammit.

13th Galena: Okay. The ranger died in the HFDP, but the goblins finally got bored and wandered off, so Vucar managed to get inside. Good thing, too, because she's complaining of thirst.

Aaaaand a final edit:

Spoiler: Our legendary beardling (click to show/hide)

Wait no no no I DIDN'T SEE THE "DOESN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE" BEFORE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD <33333333 SHE IS GOING TO BE THE PERFECT SUPERSOLDIER WHEN SHE GROWS UP

[fortydayweekend]

This just made me do a double-take

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The dwarf in the middle is a vampire. This is his jail cell (he was witnessed draining a spearmaster). For some reason all the other dwarves decided to come hang out in the cell on their break. I guess the statue garden just isn't exciting enough.

The saddest part is that all these new friends will miss him when he gets out and is made to stand in front of the flamethrower