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[xdarkcodex]

Grant, you rule a small $2 shop called the world and you become very successive.

I wish for a $20 iTunes card.

ninja'd

You get your tissues but they're all used and gooey.

[Sirus]

Oh yes, you're having fun trying to measure the world, all right. But you lost count halfway in the measuring thing you're doing, and now, you have to start over.

Did I tell you it took you 9 years to get halfway?

I wish for a bunch of tissue

Clever bastard

[jetex1911]

Grant, you rule a small $2 shop called the world and you become very successive.

I wish for a $20 iTunes card.

ninja'd

You get your tissues but they're all used and gooey.

Granted. The iTunes card was already used up on Rick Astley music.

I wish that I could stop real-life problems just by thinking about it. 

[Truean]

Grant, you rule a small $2 shop called the world and you become very successive.

I wish for a $20 iTunes card.

ninja'd

You get your tissues but they're all used and gooey.

Granted. The iTunes card was already used up on Rick Astley music.

I wish that I could stop real-life problems just by thinking about it. 

Granted. You can and you do. You are pestered by everyone every second of the day about every problem they ever had and they want you to fix all of them. Your entire life is spent as the world's complaint department and nothing else. Then you wear out or die eventually and and everyone shortly dies after you do, because they got so used to you doing everything for them, that they forgot how to take care of themselves at all.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then people notice your ability and its great-at first.... They even build you a nice, kinda cool place where you can be in contact with every person on earth.... No one wants you to leave this place and even if you did, they'd follow you, because you are constantly bombarded by every complaint in the world as people spend every waking second pestering you with their problems. They complain about every problem no matter how personal and embarrassing, or how sad, or how trivial and this goes on day after day for years. You eventually even start to think you get a handle on things and you really honestly do make a difference for a while there. You have no life whatsoever, because everyone is constantly complaining to you to solve their problems.

That doesn't even touch how you have to deal with people who want mutually exclusive things. Men fighting over a woman. Women fighting over a man. Men fighting over a man. Women fighting over a woman. Things for research scientists to do with their lives now that there are no diseases to cure or problems to solve. People who are otherwise OK being constantly bored and wanting you to invent new ways to entertain them. It goes on and on and on....

But then you eventually grow old, feeble and wear out, or are otherwise not able to continue for all time, if the lifetime of complaints hasn't gotten to you and you even want to.... For whatever reason, you become unable or unwilling to grant every wish and then the whole human race dies, because they became dependent upon you and forgot how to do things themselves. Without you around, they are helpless....

I wish I had a single slice of cherry pie.

[Happerry]

The slice is infested with ants.

I wish we had more good godzilla movies.

[Truean]

The slice is infested with ants.

I wish we had more good godzilla movies.

Granted. Several excellent Godzilla movies are made. Unfortunately they are all true documentaries now.... Japan will never be the same.

I wish for a peaceful world where people get along nicely and have long happy lives.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. Everyone's dead, so nobody argues against each other. You are all alone now...

I wish for a matter-creator-replicator machine thingy.

[obolisk0430]

Granted.  However, upon activating it, you are informed you only have 4 minutes and 13 seconds before a meteor hits your house.

I wish I could think of what to wish for.

[Argonnek]

Granted, but you are ninja'd and can't post it.

I wish I had indestructible teeth.

[xdarkcodex]

Grant, Scientist harvest your teeth from your still destructible gums and clone your teeth to make armor plating for war and buildings. No one cares that your left with your gums and no teeth and everyone thinks your crazy.

I wish cows would produce chocolate milk.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. Farmers now milk cows from their behinds for "chocolate milk". Of course, it doesn't look, smell, or even taste like one. You yearn for the better days when farmers milked cows for their milk.

I wish the next wish wasn't about scat.

[adasdad]

granted. the wish previously going to be about scat is now about severe hemorrhaging.



I wish that I could cause severe hemorrhaging in anyone i want.

[terkiey]

You cause severe heamorhidgeing in yourself.

I wish for moar scat.

[kaijyuu]

A zombie Scat Man arrives at your door and starts singing.


I wish for an uncorruptable wish.

[obolisk0430]

Granted.  However, because nobody can corrupt the wish, the game stops.  Everyone hates you.

I wish I didn't have to wear a retainer.