Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. you get thrown out of court for the silly ballad that you wrote for the defendant's case.

I wish for something cool to happen to me.

[Trapezohedron]

You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our love

You never take advice
Someday you'll pay the price, I know

You die of Hypothermia.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[Sirus]

Granted, but then you are [REDACTED] by a gang of [DATA EXPUNGED]. [EXPLETIVE REMOVED].

I wish for a root beer float.

[MikaTheCrazy]

You find yourself floating in a lake of root beer. You lose the ability to float.


I wish for a lance.

[Sirus]

Granted. You get lanced.

I wish for an inner tube to float in root beer.

[Argonnek]

Granted, but there is no more root beer to float in.

I wish I could drink as much alcohol as I wanted without risk of death.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. you are so blind slobbering drunk that you might as well be dead, you useless slob!

I wish for something awesome.

[Flying Dice]

Granted. A massive alien spacecraft destroys Earth from close range.




I wish for perfect immortality (control over aging, physical appearance, regrowth of part or entire body at will, ability to exist without a body, etc.).

[Sirus]

Granted. However, the universe immediately ends, leaving you afloat in an endless void without any sensation whatsoever. You quickly wish that you could commit suicide, but can't.

I wish I had fewer morbid thoughts.

[xdarkcodex]

Grant, you get no thoughts at all and become brain dead.

I wish I had a new USB to replace my broken one.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You find a jury-rigged 100kb USB, useless for anything bigger than a txt file.

I wish for ice.

[Sirus]

Granted! 10,000 years from now, aliens find your frozen body and place it in a museum.

I wish for a golden fork.

[xdarkcodex]

Granted, you spend your life savings on it to find out it was made from cheap copper with cheap paint.

I wish I had a better phone.

[Sirus]

You have a better phone, but the network goes bankrupt and it becomes a fancy paperweight.

I wish I could rule the world.

[Trapezohedron]

Oh yes, you're having fun trying to measure the world, all right. But you lost count halfway in the measuring thing you're doing, and now, you have to start over.

Did I tell you it took you 9 years to get halfway?

I wish for a bunch of tissue