Turn Seventy OneActivate Shield I ability, and also ride/tame one of the dragons while hiding safely behind my magical shield.
"Damn serfs can't run in a feckin' straight line," cries Whiz,
"I know, I’ll get meself a feckin’ dragon!"Bellowing a mighty challenge at the nearest dragon, Whiz activates his magical shield, climbs over the prone body of his serf, and charges with his own legs towards the evil lizard.
…But he’s as competent at running as his serf is, and he trips over another nearby rock and flings himself at the feet of the waddling death-wyrm! The dragon stares at him, licks his lips, and with surprising speed sits on the poor wizard’s head.
…Before Whiz can even roll out of the way everything goes dark, and there’s more than one sickening crunch.
Whiz has quite a severe headache all of a sudden.
Wound Acquired: Whiz:
Broken Head! Wound Acquired: Whiz:
Broken Chest!Activate Rage Flight and have Roñardo hurl me towards the dragons a la Olympic hurling. Flap my arms in order to gain additional momentum. Lightning punch the dragon I impact. If successful, shout out 'MASSIVE DAMAGE'.
Seeing his occasionally useful companion flattened by a fearsome dragon jolts Bukkar Crangrom into action.
Decisive action.
Roñardo! he shouts.
”Si, señor?” comes the reply.
Roñardo, HEAVE! HEAVE LIKE A… LIKE AN OLYMPIC HEAVER!”Si, señor! Muchas heavas!”Roñardo, fortunately, is a doughty Mexican peasant trained in the art of semi-olympic warheaving. He spins. He twirls. He grunts. He releases with an enormous howl of shattering peasantness!
…Bukkar and his barrel fly through the air unerringly towards
…the dragon that isn’t sitting on Whiz’s face!
As the barrel gains momentum, the lid pops off, barely slowing its gathering speed, and out of the top of the barrel shoots forth a gleaming fist.
A fist of righteousness!
A fist of lightning!
A fist of filth!
…Fist first, Bukkar and his barrel fly straight into the dragon’s head. A burst of lightning appears out of Bukkar’s fingers of death, and the whole – gleaming Bukkar, gleaming barrel and gleaming vomit – smash through the dragon’s head, shattering the brain and severing the skull!
Bits of dragon face and head shoot out in every direction, and the dragon topples over, as dead as a dead dragon can be!
As the barrel shoots off over the burning camp and into the distance, a tremendous booming voice can be heard.
MASSIVE DAMAGE!
Towards the miner's camp! Get something burning and a flask of alcohol, perhaps some bauxite too, and lie in wait. Somewhere behind the dragons and behind cover.
...Meanwhile, not so very far away...
”Holy crap!” cries Medha, ruining the tiny tiny amount of stealth charging straight into the miners' camp on a ten foot tall bone spider had left her by squealing in a horribly high-pitched voice,
”Holy crap, he's just right there! In front of me!”She manages to find a flask of alcohol from somewhere about her person just in time for the dragon sitting on Whiz to turn towards her and her mount and open its great big fiery mouth.
She totally drops the flask.
...Miraculously diving to one side at the last millisecond, both Medha and her spider avoid the biggest blast of fire – a blast that Medha is sure would have burnt her poor spider to a crisp – but as she's about to get to her feet and taunt the useless lizard she suddenly feels a little lightheaded.
She looks down, and sees that her precious mangled ribcage has been burnt clean away.
There appears to be a large quantity of blood going in many directions that, although not a doctor, she is sure it shouldn't be going in.
”Eww. Is that... is that my heart? It's pretty gross...”Medha faints a bit, and her spider looks sad.
Wound Acquired: Medha:
Severed Ribcage!OVERDRIVE MOVE ENTERED: MEDHA CORREO: 1HP
Action: Fly over, and around-sneak into the woods with my OP ninja stealth skills, and get behind the biggest looking dragon. Fire a crossbow bolt into it's unarmored rear end!
...Not far outside the miners' camp, Lady Foxglove decides to show Medha how to stealth with style and success, and, horrified by Medha's atrociously painful looking fate, nearly fails.
But Ravena's blessing is upon her!
She calls upon her ridiculous ninja stealth skills and practically makes her flying warsquid vanish behind several blades of grass, floats past a burning hut, and shoots her crossbow right up the Mehda-burning fiend's arse!
...Amazingly, the bolt shoots right through the dragon, travelling through its entire body and blasting out the other end, carrying the dragon's tiny brain with it.
The dragon keels over, as dead as its friend.
It's not much comfort to Whiz though, who is still stuck underneath.
OVERDRIVE MOVE EXITED: MEDHA CORREO: SAVED ONCE AGAIN
Run toward Whiz and Bukkar until I am in comfortable crossbow aiming range of the dragons. Examine draconic anatomy from a distance. How large are they? How many limbs? How long are the tails? How powerful are the wings?
Follow the bouncing barrel to the fight. Don't get in melee range, because that would be silly.
Just then Gervedder and Tackov stroll up. They keep a safe distance, because you never can tell with dragons, and examine the lizardy corpses. Gervedder deduces that they are both about the size of a large – nay, overweight – cow, that they have four limbs each, with tails about the size of an average human, and with wings that seem really quite ineffective. Lifeless, even.
Here be'd dragons' sheets! But they're dead, so I deleted them.
P.S. I might – I might start a new game in the near future. I know this is kind of stupid because I only just have enough time for this, but it's a really strong urge and I don't know if I can resist. But I have very long term plans for this game, so don't worry about it. This other game would be slightly experimental in any case, and would be updated less often than this.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: -1 to gut defence. +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Dressed!
Health: [HP: 60/60] |
The Vomiting! |
Severed Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 1 Green Farthing.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing. +2 to defence (one turn left). Stuck under a dragon. -1 to dodge. -1 to head defence.
Health: [HP: 40/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! |
Broken Chest! |
Broken Head!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted).
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. -1 to chest defence. -1 to dodge.
Health: [HP: 01/85] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Ribcage!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 211 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Cureall,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Extra-presentable! +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x5, Live eel x700,
Grenade of the Fool x1.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 85/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194369 times)