Turn TwelveRun up the stairs and spin like some sort of bloody adventure-dervish, hopefully losing the fungus at that. If successful, throw the bastardly thing down the stairs. If not successful, try to staunch the bleeding on my bloody ankles with something available. Say, a bandage. Ask Medha very, very kindly if necessary.
"You've got something on your leg, Messenger...ewww!"”Crikey.”…Many years of running have, clearly, taken their toll on Gervedder Vietzo: horrifically bleeding from the anterior tibial artery, swollen with decades of exercise until it has evolved into a major and vital blood superhighway keeping his precious ankles pumped full of oxygen and stuff, the messenger spins round like some sort of adventure-dervish with rabies, bleeding at the megafungus so hard its wrestler-like grip loosens, and slips, and finally fails.
Gervedder dashes up the stairs, slides on his own blood, bashes his head on a step, and rolls back down, bump by bumpity bump. He rolls over onto his back, staring the awful mushroom in the… face?
It seems to stare right back at him.
Medha, carrying an enormous sack of bandages over her shoulder, starts screaming as she sees the severed major artery spray blood like some kind of terrible wound, and in a horrifying possible premonition of the end of the turn Gervedder sees, in his mind’s eye, the young curse-crafter strip naked and run up and down the corridor vomiting and trying to commit arson.
He acts fast.
”Medha, my lovely dear? Do you think you could possibly spare me one of your bandages? I’m a little too busy bleeding to death from the ankle to acquire one myself, so I thought, I know, Medha Correo – that’s a most obliging terribly polite lovely young woman! I’ll ask her! Very very kindly!”Medha is stunned into agreement – she takes a bandages from her collection, wangs it the short distance over to Gervedder, and turns, screaming but fully dressed, down the corridor to the left, arms and legs flailing both.
…Displaying considerable medical prowess under pressure and a towering death-fungus, Gervedder bandages his near-fatal ankle bite with something like actual competence.
Action: Hike back up the stairs and borrow some salt from the armorer. Or get it in some other way. Then, douse liberally the evil fungus with the acquired salt, killing it with osmotically induced shock!
SCIENCE
…Shrieking and wailing at the idea of getting giant mould over her new shirt, Lady Foxglove follows Gervedder’s lead in escaping back up the stairs, slipping over in the messenger’s blood, rolling back down the stairs with a bump bumpity bump, and coming to a halt at the superfungus’s… feet?
Where she differs though, where she no longer follows Gervedder’s lead – and how was she to know that shrieking and wailing are the two things that most antagonise megafungi in their natural habitat – is in shrieking and wailing with such tremendous force that she antagonises the superfungus into attacking her.
Perhaps she should have tried bleeding on it instead.
…She can’t quite remember
why she wanted any salt as the poor fungus wraps its mushroomy arms around her, enveloping her in its musty grip and bending down to bite her like a mouldy ghoul, but she knows she definitely did.
…As it rummages about ineffectively for somewhere nice to gnaw her, Lady Foxglove feels, rather than the sharp puncturing fangs of legend, a slight twinge of disappointment: she
still doesn’t know how fungus bites.
Perhaps she’ll find out next turn.
SISSY SLAP FIGHT the fungus!
Or perhaps not!
"It's just a fungus!" bravely shouts Tackov the wind-mage, advancing on the mushroom,
"The teeth don't even look that menacing!"”They look menacing enough from here! Stop prattling on and come and rescue me, you blithering idiot!”…As Tackov flings his arm into the air and then in his turn slips over in Gervedder’s extra-lubrifying blood, he has just enough time before his face hits the floor to, he swears, see the fungus sidestep out of the way and then
…aim a kick at his head.
Jump back and attempt to copy Adelige's method of shooting crossbows to attack the fungus.
"Bloody Fungi!" cries Whiz,
"And bloody Tackov! Your feeble slapping is so bad you’ve taught the fungus locomotion! Watch and learn, windmage: I’ll show you how to take down a giant mushroom!"…He raises his crossbow in the flashy Foxglove style and totally hits the evil mould growth with a slight glancing blow that does nothing at all.
"Perhaps you need to stand slightly further away!" shouts Tackov helpfully from the floor.
"You know, further than five feet!"Go punch the fungus.
Having been staring at his feet – a rather strenuous activity, even after half a jug of coffee – for most of a turn, Bukkar, at the whooshing sound of crossbow fire, looks up in a state of great fatigue.
He kindly offers to fry the giant mushroom mocking his comrades but instead walks up to it and falls victim to its newly taught dodging skills.
…He totally misses with a series of devastating hooks to the chin.
Suddenly a staggering drunk lurches out of nowhere:
…he punches Bukkar in the chest and insults his mother, inflicting severe pain!
Severe Pain Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Severe Pain!In the present... check the basement for any other fungus monsters. Or non-fungus monsters. From a safe distance.
… Meanwhile Medha screams and flails down the corridor to the left, soon taking another left, then a right, and then spying two wooden doors just ahead of her, and then falling prey to a monstrous rattipede that leaps out of the shadows and
…trips itself up in front of the poor girl before she can even realise what’s going on.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Wind Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 50/50]Abilities: Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, 3 Yuros.
Name: Whiz
Class: Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status:Health: [HP: 75/75]Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 2 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Curse Crafter
Status:Health: [HP: 75/75] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib!Abilities: Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 80 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug).
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Opportunistic Messenger
Status:Health: [HP: 59/75]Abilities: This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 Yuros.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable and
Held by a fungus!Health: [HP: 75/75]Abilities:Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 Yuros.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Ragin' Mage
Status: Severe Pain -1 to rolls next turn.
Health: [HP: 75/75]Abilities: Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Minor Health Potion x1, 2 Yuros.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 193426 times)