Well, I think the EU as it is now is the project of an elite that strongly believes in it and wants to realize a political union without bothering to convince the actual population. For example while there are clear advantages to a borderless Europe, there are also some bad consequences, but if you talk about them you're called a right-wing populist and told that no, there really are no downsides.
Then most southern European states want a fiscal union, because they're in debt. I think it's too soon for that, so I would like to see some more scepticism there.
Then there are the non-sensical small things, stupid regulations and such. I think the EU needs a major democracy overhaul ASAP and should stop messing with my light bulbs or the measurements of fruit and stuff like that.
I also think the EU is expanding too fast for it's own good. If you take it down a notch with the speed and consolidate first you might get better results in the long run.
Also generally I think now too much depends on what France and Germany negotiate between each other, so a stronger country like the UK could make for a bit of a better balance.
I'm going to disagree with you one one point, it's that the EU is not so much the project of the people up in Brussels as a scapegoat used by the governments. Right now, nothing get done without the Council (the organs made up of the relevant ministers). What happen is that this Council decide of stuffs in Brussels then each minister come back home and blame "Brussels" for what they just decided. Europe is largely a scapegoat for national governments.
Now we do need more democracy in there I'd agree with this. (Anyone remember the Irish referendum? Can you imagine Putin for example saying "I didn't like this result, you'll have to vote again."? But this is not what the UK wants. The UK has been pushing for less integration and see a democratic Europe a dangerously legitimate.
As far as the fiscal union goes, it's going to be negotiated inside the Eurozone anyway, so the UK will have no influence on that.
The expansion to Eastern Europe was, as far as I'm concerned, a complete success. Just compare the post-soviets countries that made it into the EU with those that didn't.
Finally, the UK has also been a major stumbling block as far as financial regulations are concerned. I'd be glad to see them out just for that.