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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715984 times)

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3195 on: February 25, 2016, 11:12:57 pm »
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Quote from: Eric Blank
It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
Quote from: 2016 Election IRC
<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

Culise

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3196 on: February 25, 2016, 11:16:30 pm »
Quote from: H4zardZ1 on February 20, 2016, 10:24:32 am
What will a robotic metal grinder say to a really hard thing?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ooh, that reminds me.  Real programmers don't take big bytes. They just nybble a bit.

EDIT:
Quote from: Helgoland on February 25, 2016, 10:13:28 am
Oh God, imagine skull-fucking a moray eel - those pharyngeal jaws would be nasty...
When of your dong you're divest, and it's left to digest, that's a moray.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2016, 11:26:18 pm by Culise »
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3197 on: February 25, 2016, 11:37:56 pm »
*stares*

Wrong thread, that was funny.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

If you struggle with your mental health, please seek help.

scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3198 on: February 26, 2016, 05:56:00 am »
Quote from: Culise on February 25, 2016, 11:16:30 pm
Quote from: Helgoland on February 25, 2016, 10:13:28 am
Oh God, imagine skull-fucking a moray eel - those pharyngeal jaws would be nasty...
When of your dong you're divest, and it's left to digest, that's a moray.
Culise confirmed for William McGonagal.
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Quote from: Akura on April 17, 2016, 12:06:46 pm
We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3199 on: February 26, 2016, 08:10:24 am »
Spoiler: Some dude reminds me of this joke. (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: I think i said this earlier, so if there is any, send the quote here (click to show/hide)

What do you call it when it is so dark that you can only see the light from the west?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Comrade Qwasich
Stop bullying children
I can't
I have to bully children
Sigtext and other things

Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3200 on: February 26, 2016, 08:13:06 am »
Quote from: H4zardZ1 on February 26, 2016, 08:10:24 am
What do you call it when it is so dark that you can only see the light from the west?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hey, this one is not bad, in a way.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3201 on: February 26, 2016, 09:23:03 am »
Quote from: scrdest on February 26, 2016, 05:56:00 am
Quote from: Culise on February 25, 2016, 11:16:30 pm
Quote from: Helgoland on February 25, 2016, 10:13:28 am
Oh God, imagine skull-fucking a moray eel - those pharyngeal jaws would be nasty...
When of your dong you're divest, and it's left to digest, that's a moray.
Culise confirmed for William McGonagal.
In a field there was a coo.

It must've moved, 'cause it's no' there noo.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

If you struggle with your mental health, please seek help.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3202 on: March 03, 2016, 06:43:30 pm »

The Flintstones called. They want their joke back.
What's a programmer's favorite candy? A Push Pop.

I need T.P. for my Indians.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2016, 11:19:50 pm by Bumber »
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3203 on: March 20, 2016, 05:26:06 pm »
A woman visits her shrink, and complains that she's a control freak.
The shrink tells her not to worry, because all women are control freaks.
She then complains about being insecure.
The shrink tells her not to worry, because all women are insecure.
She tells him that she's not sure whether she's reassured or insulted by this.
The shrink says not to worry, because all women are indecisive.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

IcyTea31

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3204 on: March 20, 2016, 11:26:17 pm »
So, uh...when are you going to give us the punchline?
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There is a world yet only seen by physicists and magicians.

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3205 on: March 21, 2016, 09:32:31 am »
Quote from: IcyTea31 on March 20, 2016, 11:26:17 pm
So, uh...when are you going to give us the punchline?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

If you struggle with your mental health, please seek help.

Comrade P.

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3206 on: March 21, 2016, 09:48:24 am »
Quote from: IcyTea31 on March 20, 2016, 11:26:17 pm
So, uh...when are you going to give us the punchline?

I'm trying to make a joke about the punch line  as a queue for a forced late abortion operation, but I can't arrange the words right. Have my idea and be creative.
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3207 on: March 21, 2016, 10:43:16 am »
Quote from: Comrade P. on March 21, 2016, 09:48:24 am
I'm trying to make a joke about the punch line  as a queue for murder, but I can't arrange the words right. Have my idea and be creative.

How about "I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown, but was late to the punchline"?

Or here's a criminal prank: ask someone if they wanted to get in line to hear a joke. If they say "yes"- sucker punch them, saying "sorry, but this is the punch line".
« Last Edit: March 21, 2016, 10:47:29 am by a1s »
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Quote from: Fluffe9911 on March 08, 2023, 02:45:47 pm
I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3208 on: March 21, 2016, 06:04:22 pm »
Why did the dirty limerick have to live off of food stamps?
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3209 on: March 27, 2016, 06:17:14 am »
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
Quote from: Vector on March 17, 2011, 11:50:36 pm
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.
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