Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[crazysheep]

Hey, I got a physicist joke - but there's quite a few of them around here, and I wouldn't like to have to explain it three or four times...

Do it anyway :3

[Arx]

Hey, I got a physicist joke - but there's quite a few of them around here, and I wouldn't like to have to explain it three or four times...

Do it anyway :3

Not sure if joke or not joke.

Any way, here's one shamelessly lifted from somewhere else I can't remember:

What do you call a snobbish crook going down a flight of stairs?



A condescending con descending.

[Yoink]

I've got a really awful one, stolen borrowed from a friend. Who may have stolen it from somewhere else first, no idea.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Q: A lesbian couple and a gay couple are the only guests at a small motel by a highway. Late one night during their stay, an electrical fault in the kitchen starts a fire, setting off the fire alarms and causing the building to be evacuated. Which couple gets out first?








































A: The gay couple, because their shit's already packed.

[Sheb]

Ahah, that one made me cringe. :p

[Helgoland]

What do you call a snobbish crook going down a flight of stairs?



A condescending con descending.

Yeah, I'm gonna steal that

EDIT:

Hey, I got a physicist joke - but there's quite a few of them around here, and I wouldn't like to have to explain it three or four times...

Do it anyway :3

QED.

[squidgen]

Q: Have you ever eaten Somalian food?

A: No.

Well, neither have they!


_{That was terrible.}

[TheDarkStar]

A statistician is sent to death row for egregious use of statistics. He is tied to a chair and the firing squad gets ready.

"THREE"
"TWO"
"ONE"

*BANG*

Half the bullets go to the right and half go to the left. The statistician pauses, looks around for a moment, and then drops over dead.

[scrdest]

A statistician is sent to death row for egregious use of statistics. He is tied to a chair and the firing squad gets ready.

"THREE"
"TWO"
"ONE"

*BANG*

Half the bullets go to the right and half go to the left. The statistician pauses, looks around for a moment, and then drops over dead.

Sounds more like a thermodynamics guy. A statistician would complain that the bullet distribution is non-Gaussian.


Also, a painfully lame joke I thought of while sitting through a lecture:

What do you call a science of interactions of substances in the blood?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hemistry.

* scrdest sees himself out.

[Noel.se]

A bunch of science enthusiasts talk about what to wear for a Halloween party.

"Hey guys, i think going as Einstein would be a relatively good idea. What about you?"
"Well, I've selected Darwin. Naturally."
"I frequently go as Hertz."
"Gauss, of course. That's a real chick magnet."
"What about Tesla to electrify the party?"
"Nah, Edison is much more direct."
"I'm always uncertain. I may go as Heisenberg this year."
"Currently, Ampere seems like the best choice for me."
"I like the idea of James Prescott Joule, but I don't think I have the necessary energy."
"I'm being pulled towards Newton."
"I'm considering Copernicus, but I'm to humble to go as a scientist. After all, the universe doesn't revolve around me."
"I'l go as Doppler. They will hear me coming."
"Losers. Hubble is the most Stellar costume!"

[Baffler]

Very long joke. Not mine!

The buildup to this was interesting enough that I had forgotten it was even a joke until the very end, I was even a little surprised when the punchline actually came.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Less surprised that it was a

























lame pun.

[WealthyRadish]

I actually laughed quite a bit at the end.

[Yoink]

I scrolled down to the end, but that's because I was pretty sure I'd read it before.
Turns out, I was right! It certainly was entertaining the first time I read it. Pretty sure I forgot about the joke by the end, too.

[Redzephyr01]

What's Doge's favorite game?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WOW

[JackOSpades]

 Why did the monitor lizard take Viagra?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He had a Reptile dysfunction.

 Whats the generic form of Viagra?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MyDixadrill

 Did you hear about the criminal who broke into pharmacies to steal Viagra?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He was a hardened criminal.

 What pill helps old men get layed the most?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Rohypnol

sorry about the last one. rape jokes are never funny, they always seem forced.

[pisskop]

^^^ He put 5 terrible jokes in that.