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[Montopolis]

Sadly, the soaps are actually soul-devouring demonic abomination visual application deployment devices in that universe. Your soul is eaten, and your body a lifeless lump of a organic matter. Additionally, because I was dead, you can't blame me for the hydrogen bomb. That was my clone's doing.

We set up a giant tower made of adamantine on the hill, claimed in my name.

My hill.

[Baneling]

I cast Wish five times, using the multiplicative power of each spell to create a feedback loop of infinite magical energy with which I can cast Wish. Forever.

I then proceed to use this magical energy to remove all the other hill-combatants from existence in actuality - no alternate universe selves, no past/future selves. They never existed.

I then build a bouyant hill and place 50 decanters of endless water at the top, producing 250 gallons of water a second to eventually flood the universe. I use the wish-loop to cast Endure Elements and Water Breathing on myself and then Permanency so that I can live in space forever with my infinite supply of fresh water and one unit of Everlasting Rations.

Ma colline!

[Montopolis]

Because you removed all other hill combatants from existence, this thread is pointless.

You are alone.

[Baneling]

Well, people who join after this point will become hill combatants, but they're not at the moment, so they're not effected anyway.

[Just Some Guy]

I find a bay with a river flowing into it. The bay is shallow enough to be a harbor and the land is fertile. I settle here and found a trading outpost, which eventually grows into a small, prospering, city.

[Montopolis]

Not to be a killjoy, but I killed you, JSG, and then Baneling removed you from all existence. That makes it kind of hard to found a city.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Angry at being forced out of retirement again, I simply screw it and erase all existence, then recreate it so that I am immune to all and any attempts to kill me, torture me, or otherwise in any form harm me, simply so I can enjoy nice, tasty tea in my peaceful, non-booby trapped home.

My couch.

[Just Some Guy]

Not to be a killjoy, but I killed you, JSG, and then Baneling removed you from all existence. That makes it kind of hard to found a city.

Good point.

[Montopolis]

Well, this thread has progressed past all points of insanity. It was good fun though.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

...why can't I enjoy my tea? D:

[Montopolis]

It was more the rewriting of the universe twice.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

To be fair, all of it was in pursuit of peaceful tea-drinking.

Has it come to the point where I have to kill every living person in the universe TWICE to drink a FUCKING CUP OF TEA?

If it has, then yep, we're all loons here.

[Montopolis]

All I wanted to do was plant a flag on a hill.

I destroyed all sentient life in a universe and then put down a communist revolution.

I STILL never got to plant the flag.

We are all insane, definitely.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

*sigh*

*takes Montpolis' flag and plants it on a small hill*

There. Now PLEASE let me drink my FUCKING tea. I'm going mad, damn it!

[Montopolis]

Alright! I win!

I am the nonexistent King of the Hill!

I've never felt more accomplished in my nonexistence.