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[Just Some Guy]

I build a coffee plantation.

[Aseaheru]

i buy controlling interests in the tea stall and coffee plantation. my drink.

[Montopolis]

I destroy the universe with a spoon.
Not really, I was kidding. I did it with a spork.

[Aseaheru]

i gasp and die

[Montopolis]

I laugh at you for thinking I actually tried to destroy the universe.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

I limit ownership of the tea stall to myself only.

[Kestrel_6]

I make Truebirth Coffee.

My better Coffee.

[Aseaheru]

i kill off everyone who owns stock in all the companys and buy them for 2 cents each.

ALL MINE!

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Haha, fool.

My tea stall is not a company, and therefore I survive.

I provide tea to everyone who died, then put up a second branch near the hill with Cacame himself heading it.

[Aseaheru]

i buy the land the tea stalls are on, impound them, and force you to work for me selling tea in your tea stalls.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

You are shot in the back by an anti-shadow weapon I put together in my spare time.

You die after the paralysis stops you from breathing.

I reclaim my stalls and run them independently, buying the land and keeping the deeds with me.

[Aseaheru]

my relatives repeat the process, giving you a frontal lobomitry in the process. and no i cant spell.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

I simply replace my brain with a Papillon Heart.

I kill your relatives the same way I killed you, then reclaim and buy the land around the stalls.

Then to make absolutely sure, I summon an avatar of Toady himself to bless my stalls against unwanted interference.

[Aseaheru]

i employ the toad to make a new dwarf fortress, give you a copy and while you are engrossed buy everything and lock you in a small room with only a computer JUST able to play dwarffortress. with no internet or anything else. the room is impossible to leave and i then kill all the people who like you. the toad then talks to marven the robot who is on guard outside your room and gives him a copy of dwarffortress to occupy his planet sized brain.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

I break out, kill the robot, rip his CPU out, and escape.

I use my charisma and shapeshifting to regan popularity. Then I kill you the exact same way you trapped me.

I return to my tea stall.