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[ledgekindred]

My current fort, near a Necro tower.  After the gobbos and zombies got together and had a great big ole shindig, I sent my dorfs out to clean up the refuse once the party was over.

There was an elf upper arm in a tree that got reanimated before the necro scampered off that was scaring my dorfs as they exited the fortress, preventing them from a) picking anything up, b) going back in the fort, before I finally got a marksdwarf to shoot it to death.

So: an elf arm bone in a tree, causing several dozen of my dorfs to run around in circles.

P.S.  This is one of the most win threads I've had the pleasure to read.   

[GoombaGeek]

I have one, a classic:

I don't know what they're supposed to actually look like.

This isn't a report but
It's an artifact statue of an elf getting its nose torn off

Ceci n'est pas une nez

No comment necessary.

I think this one actually is bad because for some unknowable reason I didn't center the action, so it's a huge waste of space. Also it's rated R for nudity.

So the recruit strips him of his shoes for some reason and then he shoots my dwarf in the face

That was the last thing he did though, the other dwarf finished stripping it and had it's way with the nasty little thing

PRIORITIES

ok... i just had a friggen unconcious dwarf decide it would be a good idea to "withdraw from society", in a dreamworld maybe? that would be away from society! She has a broken leg too! so she needs help getting to where she wants to go anyway.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but your husband... He may never walk again."
"No! All those hours we spent hauling together... gone... it can't... no... *sob*"
*thought bubble* "Hey, I just thought of a great idea!"

Anyway, I'm not doing the latest one (directly above this post) juuust yet because I present to you The First Ten Pages of Badness! Now you can download every picture I've made previously in one convenient file! I even kept the spelling mistakes in the filenames!

[Kofthefens]

Anyway, I'm not doing the latest one (directly above this post) juuust yet because I present to you The First Ten Pages of Badness! Now you can download every picture I've made previously in one convenient file! I even kept the spelling mistakes in the filenames!

Added to my wallpaper folder.

[PaleBlueHammer]

This one's not combat, but it should be entertaining:

[Kamin]

This one's not combat, but it should be entertaining:

^This.

[Sus]

I just remembered one from a friend playing Adventure mode:
His adventurer had returned to town after dispatching a group of bandits (biting an arm off the bandit leader in the process).
It was after selling the loot from the bandits and walking out of the shop he checked his inventory and found out his adventurer was still latching on to a rotting bandit arm with his teeth...

Imagine the look on the shopkeeper's face.
"Whaf, do I haf somffing im my feefh? "

[ab00]

-snip-

I think this one actually is bad because for some unknowable reason I didn't center the action, so it's a huge waste of space. Also it's rated R for nudity.

Needs more blood:

[Scelly9]

FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

[Trickman]

I had this LEGENDARY moment when I, as a spearhuman, attacked a badger in adventure mode with my spear.

You charge the badger with your silver spear!
You bite the badger in the left back paw, tearing the skin and tearing the fat!
You shake the badger around in the air!

Yes, I went running towards a badger with both hands gripping my spear and for some reason my first attack was biting him on the back paw and shaking him around with my muscular human mandible, finally tossing him a few squares away.

[GoombaGeek]

-snip-

I think this one actually is bad because for some unknowable reason I didn't center the action, so it's a huge waste of space. Also it's rated R for nudity.

Needs more blood:

Not even that +crystal glass window+ and ☼steel battle axe☼ can cheer Urist McOnlooker up today!

[MrWillsauce]

My avatar. Urist McCartass.

[Mura]

Crossposting from the Facepalm thread:

I tried to set up a minecart repeater in my last fortress using a novel (read: buggy) design, but after many problems trying to drop the minecart onto the track from above, finally decided to have a sacrificial dwarf go and push it instead to jumpstart the process. I then unpaused the game and busied myself checking on some crundles who were lingering near my cage traps.

The first dwarf went to go push the minecart. It accelerated as planned, reversed direction as planned, and mowed him over before he could move an inch, grievously injuring the poor sap. Then another dwarf decided to go "recover the wounded" and walked right into the high-speed minecart as it ran him over a third time, bowling her over as well. Then someone decided to go rescue her... This blossomed into thirty dwarves out of fifty dying in the accidental meatgrinder.

At least, that's how I reconstructed the scene after finding a ceiling-high pile of bodies in the minecart oscillator.  Never again shall I leave the game unattended.

[keyreper]

commenting to keep this alive (I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!)

[Mura]

While I am sure Goombageek enjoys (and he does deserve) the adulation, the thread does not need resuscitation. You are performing the Heimlich Maneuver on a rosy-cheeked and trim businessman; your necromantic rites have no effect on its living tissue.

[lxnt]

The dangers of dust attacks in confined spaces.

Code: [Select]

The Forgotten Beast breathes a cloud of forgotten beast frozen extract!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a burst of forgotten beast frozen extract!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!
The Stray Dog is caught in a burst of forgotten beast frozen extract!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!
The Stray Dog is caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!
The Forgotten Beast slams into an obstacle!
The Forgotten Beast's left pincer takes the full force of the impact, tearing apart the fat and bruising the muscle!
The Forgotten Beast's right first leg takes the full force of the impact, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!
The Forgotten Beast slams into an obstacle!
The phyllite strikes The Forgotten Beast in the right pincer, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
The Forgotten Beast is caught in a burst of forgotten beast frozen extract!
The {Kogan's bone [140]} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the right first leg, bruising the muscle!
The flying {copper bolt} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the right first leg, tearing the muscle!
The flying {<F0>copper bolt<F0>} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the right first leg, tearing the muscle!
The flying {<F0>copper bolt<F0>} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the right fourth leg, tearing the muscle!
The flying {<F0>copper bolt<F0>} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the body, tearing the muscle!
The flying {copper bolt} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the right first leg, tearing the muscle!
The {Stray Cat mutilated corpse} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the left fourth leg, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
The {Stray Cat right front leg} strikes The Forgotten Beast in the head, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle and bruising the brain!
The Forgotten Beast slams into an obstacle!

TLDR: the FB decided to dust the bait dog, fell into adjacent channel, breathed dust a couple of times there and was killed by {Stray Cat right front leg} that was left there by some previous FB. Don't breathe dust in the vicinity of cat legs.