Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Tiruin]

"It is time."

>Play a rousing song of olden days while moving into battle! Battle for CHEESE!

Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20

Skills:
Celtic Warrior - +1 to battle rolls ; -1 to deep mental rolls
Decent Guitarist - +1 to playing the Guitar

Inventory:
Winged Full Helm and White-field Cloak - Negates the -1 modifier of the Warrior 'Berserker' trait
☼Guitaraxe☼ - +2 to battle rolls
Blue Warpaint
Cash - £100
Generic beer (1)

Status:
Feeling Epic.

[cerapa]

I demand you use another RNG! This one obviously has something against me.

>MEDITATE HARDER. BY THE GODS DUDE, ROLL SOMETHING HIGHER THAN A 1.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

17 HP

Skills:
thinks a bit clearer: +1 to all Logic based rolls

Inventory:
Sword of Batshit
 1 batshit soul

[Roundabout Lout]

Alright, now

>Tear off this damn children's superhero costume!

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

Hp = 12/20
Skills = +1 in combat
Inventory = Children's superhero costume (-1 to all rolls)

[ExKirby]

Lawas (ab)uses his powerful position. [6] He gets healed [3] [4] for (+7Hp) but sparks a large row about MPs wasting the taxpayer's money!

Raptor tells a tale and beats a guy. [3+2] [6] That is one VERY GENERIC PUNCH in danger of becoming a SEMI-DECENT PUNCH! (-1Hp)

Cael converts the remainder of the hoard. [3] It... sorta works? (+2 Hoard Hp) [3] He grabs the robes, but the soul floats off. (+1 Necrorobes(+1 to necromantics)) The battle rages on. [Cael: 1+1] [Master: 3+1] [CHoard: 5+2] Vs [1, 2, 2] The remaining zombie gets torn to shreds. You are the victor.

Maxinum tells a heartfelt tale. [5] The police are so moved that they let you go. ...That worked.

Sin tries to bluff. [5] The cop suddenly believes you! He buys your gold at £1000 a bar to say sorry. (+£110,000)

Tiruin goes and battles [2] with a cheesemaker! [2+1+1+2] Vs [4+1] Tiruin waxes his cheese. And by waxes I mean hits. And by cheese I mean face.

Cerapa does more batshit! [4+1] He gains some BATSHIT META KNOWLEDGE: He can summon batshit souls as a 5Hp Hoard!

Yougied tries yet again to remove his shirt. [6+1] BANG. He's wearing a shirt and trousers beneath. (-1 Superhero costume)

[lawastooshort]

>Use my powerful position to undergo cybernetic enhancement. Specifically, I want a banjo gun arm attachment.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

HP: 7
Banjos: 0
£: 0000

[Sinpwn]

>Head back to the mafia and tell them of how I sold the gold to the police for £900 each. Give them £90,000. Sell my house and browse for SECRET LAIRS in my price range.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status:18 HP

Skills: Body Swapping, Blatant Lies

Inventory: £110,000

Factions: ULSD Mafia

[Caellath]

>Absorb the souls of unwilling politician volunteers (they will never be missed) at the nearest politician-packed place to enhance my necromancy power.

((That is one strong cheesemaker))

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HP:15
Inventory: 3 Generic Beverages; 1 Sword (+1 Attack); 1 Necromancer's robes (+1 Necromancy)
Status: Fine and dandy.
Other:
Small Zombie Army
Zombie Master (ex-Barman): 10 Hp, +1 Attack
Zombie Hoard: 10 Hp

[raptorfangamer]

>do an obviously overpowered skill you obviously dont have while shouting one liners you obviously ripped off duke nukem

Spoiler: stats (click to show/hide)

health: 17
skills: none as of now
inventory: The One Too Many (+2 to combat)
status ailments: its time to chew ass and kick bubblegum!

[Tiruin]

((No damage on the hit to the face?))

Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20

Skills:
Celtic Warrior - +1 to battle rolls ; -1 to deep mental rolls
Decent Guitarist - +1 to playing the Guitar

Inventory:
Winged Full Helm and White-field Cloak - Negates the -1 modifier of the Warrior 'Berserker' trait
☼Guitaraxe☼ - +2 to battle rolls
Blue Warpaint
Cash - £100
Generic beer (1)

Status:
Feeling Epic.

>Attack again! With the winner of the duel gaining Cheese! Preferring Cheshire Cheese over the rest.

[Maxinum McDreich]

hehehe, stop hitting yourself Tiruin!

Ok, back to original objective!

>Head back home to sleep! I have hp to heal and a whole day to prepare for!

Inventory: a waitresses phone number.
Health: 14hp

[Tiruin]

hehehe, stop hitting yourself Tiruin!

I think ExKirby meant the Cheesemaker's face. I'm not actually sure, when you use the word 'cheese' in any sentence, the meaning gets pretty mixed up. 

[cerapa]

>Release the kraken horde! And then attack a kraken pet store, because thats where bats are. Because batshit is the universe and bats shit batshit, therefore bats are gods.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

17 HP

Skills:
thinks a bit clearer: +1 to all Logic based rolls
BATSHIT META KNOWLEDGE: Can summon batshit souls as a 5Hp Hoard!

Inventory:
Sword of Batshit
 1 batshit soul

[ExKirby]

Lawas undergoes more cybernetics. [2] Canada lacks the needed technology!

Sinpwn tries to bluff the mafia out of £10,000! [4] They believe him and take the money. (-£90,000) [6] Sinpwn's next job is to kill recent headliner and Canadian politician, Lawas Tooshort.

Cael gets some politizombies! [4+1] He gets [3] [6] (+9 Hoard Hp). The best bit is that you can hardly tell the difference! You know, because they're politicians?

Raptor commences a COPYRIGHT CLOBBERING. [4+2] Vs [3] He kicked ass and chewed bubblegum, but you can't see him because it's nice to see you, to see you, nice! ...I will never do that again.

Tiruin continues his BRIE BEATING. [4+4] Vs [1+1] Ow. No amount of cheese will heal that damage. The cheesemaker is now heavily damaged.

Maxinum heads home. [6] He is healed [4] (+4Hp) but is awoken by a grammar nazi! I suppose that's what happens when sentances don't start with a capital letter.

Cerapa releases the kraken hounds Wymar hoard. A (+5Hp Bathoard) appears! [5] A quick raid of the pet store results in [5] [6] an extra (+11Hp Bathoard) joining in!

[Sinpwn]

>Sell house and shop for a lair first, political assassinations can wait.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status:18 HP

Skills: Body Swapping, Blatant Lies

Inventory: £20,000

Factions: ULSD Mafia, not Canada.

[Maxinum McDreich]

Huh... didn't know we had grammar nazi's here!

>Well, this is the time I find out that this world is governed by English rather than Math, and that this dear Grammar Nazi controls this part of reality! I put forth my theory, hoping to be true, and if so, if I can gain similar godlike powers! The world will PH34R me!

Inventory: a waitresses phone number.
Health: 18hp