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[lawastooshort]

>Quit politics to become a shaman in the wilds of the North. First action: to find an animal to accompany me on my spirit journeys.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

HP: 6
Banjos: 0
£: 0000

[Maxinum McDreich]

>try to find out more! Power must be mine!


Inventory: a waitresses phone number.
Health: 18hp

[cerapa]

We aint found shit.

>Comb the desert!

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

17 HP

Skills:
thinks a bit clearer: +1 to all Logic based rolls
BATSHIT META KNOWLEDGE: Can summon batshit souls as a 5Hp Hoard! - at the cost of 1 batshit soul

Inventory:
Sword of Batshit
4 batshit souls

[Caellath]

>Use my necromantics to turn the Barman into the ultimate evil sidekick: The Death Knight! (Including a dark cape, cool armor, shield and greatsword, please)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HP:17
Inventory:
-3 Generic Beverages;
-1 Sword (+1 Attack);
-1 Necromancer's Robes (+1 Necromancy).
Passives: Necromantic Enhancement (+1 Necromancy).
Status: Fine.
Other:
Small Zombie Army
Zombie Master (ex-Barman): 10 Hp, +1 Attack
Zombie Hoard: 19 Hp

[Sinpwn]

"Let's do this."

> Take off every zig. For great justice. If we have no zigs, a helicopter will do.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status:18 HP

Skills: Body Swapping, Blatant Lies

Inventory: SIN CAVE

Factions: ULSD Mafia, not Canada, Japan.

[Tiruin]

Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20

Skills:
Celtic Warrior - +1 to battle rolls ; -1 to deep mental rolls
Decent Guitarist - +1 to playing the Guitar

Inventory:
Winged Full Helm and White-field Cloak - Negates the -1 modifier of the Warrior 'Berserker' trait
☼Guitaraxe☼ - +2 to battle rolls
Blue Warpaint
Cash - £100
Generic beer (1)

Status:
Feeling Epic.

>Challenge one of the higher powers for dominance over the region!

[raptorfangamer]

watno

>finish the fight!

Spoiler: stats (click to show/hide)

health: 11
skills: none as of now
inventory: The One Too Many (+2 to combat)
status ailments: will kill the surgeon after finishing the fight

[ExKirby]

This turn is brought to you from my brand new laptop. It is filling its role on my lap.

Lawas would like to become a shaman, but he is too busy being attacked by a mecha robot. [2] Vs [1+2] This robot is going to poke Lawas to death! (-1Hp) Meanwhile, the two-army war continues. ((Fun fact-on my DSi, I was rolling physical dice. Now I'm using RANDOM.org, I can roll 10 dice at once!)) [CAN: 3+2+6+1+3+2+4+5+5+2=33] Vs [JPN:1+4+4+3+2+4+2+4+2+4=28] With the numbers lowered, Japan is back to being one man down on 47.

Maxinum learns more about the power of batshit grammar. [1] ...Nah, the Grammar Nazi attacks him. [6] Vs [6] You both know grammarbatshit-fu! ...Grammarbatshit-fu, Kirby? Really?

Cerepa continues shit hunting! [5] He gets [5] (+5 Batshit Souls). That's cool, I guess.

Cael powers up his Master! [4] The Master is now a +2 Zombie Knight.

Sinpwn calls in the choppers! [6] They want half the pay, but a crack team of [1+4+2] 7Hp worth of choppers swoop over and boost the Japanese army to 54Hp! This is going to get slightly explosive...

Tiruin challenges the local King, who has 20Hp and +2! [5+3] Vs [3+2] On the mountaintop, the battle starts, and Tiruin gets an early facesmash/Ebm7 chord!

Raptor fights on! [1+2] [5] That is a VERY GENERIC KICK TO THE GUT! (-2Hp)

[raptorfangamer]

bucketloads of non-generical hate!

>finish the fight (again)!

Spoiler: stats (click to show/hide)

health: 9
skills: none as of now
inventory: The One Too Many (+2 to combat)
status ailments: will kill the surgeon after finishing the fight

[Caellath]

Changing my action
>Actually, if lawastooshort dies, go there and use his freshly deceased body as a flesh sacrifice to summon a Greater Demon Knight under my command; if the mecha is defeated, use its body as...uh...an integrated circuits sacrifice to summon God Machine under my command.
>If none of the former happens, offer help to Japan in exchange for a giant mecha. Armored Core style or they can lick my necromantic shoes.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HP:17
Inventory:
-3 Generic Beverages;
-1 Sword (+1 Attack);
-1 Necromancer's Robes (+1 Necromancy).
Passives: Necromantic Enhancement (+1 Necromancy).
Status: Fine.
Other:
Small Zombie Army
Zombie Knight (Barman): 10 Hp, +2 Attack
Zombie Hoard: 19 Hp

[lawastooshort]

> Do a running flying kick to the mecha's sensitive reproductive areas and then when he's floored roll him over into a nearby river, thereby shortcircuiting every circuit in him. Then flee into the wilds to become a shaman.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

HP: 5
Banjos: 0
£: 0000

[Sinpwn]

"Well now... Let's see what we can do about this Tooshort character."
>GET TO THE CHOPPA!

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Health:18 HP

Skills: Body Swapping, Blatant Lies

Inventory: SIN CAVE

Factions: ULSD Mafia, not Canada, Japan.

[Maxinum McDreich]

grammarbatshit-fu XD.

and why has my dice gone horrible for me?

>Try to entice more information from this master of the Grammarbatshit-fu! More power must be mine!


Inventory: a waitresses phone number.
Health: 18hp

[Tiruin]

Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20

Skills:
Celtic Warrior - +1 to battle rolls ; -1 to deep mental rolls
Decent Guitarist - +1 to playing the Guitar

Inventory:
Winged Full Helm and White-field Cloak - Negates the -1 modifier of the Warrior 'Berserker' trait
☼Guitaraxe☼ - +2 to battle rolls
Blue Warpaint
Cash - £100
Generic beer (1)

Status:
Feeling Epic.

>Attack the King again! Not until his death!

[cerapa]

>Attack a military base. Summon a bunch of batshit hoards first obviously.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

17 HP

Skills:
thinks a bit clearer: +1 to all Logic based rolls
BATSHIT META KNOWLEDGE: Can summon batshit souls as a 5Hp Hoard! - at the cost of 1 batshit soul

Inventory:
Sword of Batshit
9 batshit souls