TURN SIX!
Fade into the trees and stalk what is stalking us.
"Attacks from the woods?" realises
Davy Crockett,
"This is my area!"…Without so much as another word, Davy slips away from the main group of adventurers, looking to arc around and take the surprisers by surprise. Five seconds later there is no trace of him, not even the gentle whir of his Monosegway wheel rolling through the jungle.
Wait, and if needed, fire at will. Preferably at enemies.
Paul McCartney chuckles at the back of the line of bowienauts as he watches
Davy Crockett ghost off into the jungle.
"Oh, boys, don't ya see? These dinos aren't no different than us. Just lookin for a nice meal, a warm cave and as little trouble as possible!"… "Er, whatever dude," says
Archimedes.
"These bastards need to be taken down, and taken down hard!" he cries, finger on the trigger of his M60.
"Have this, you bastards!" shouts the eminent philosopher,
"You’re not takin’ me alive!!"Suddenly Archimedes of Syracuse pushes Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex aside and charges off down the jungle trail. M60 held at the hip, he opens fire, raking the undergrowth from one side to the other with an inferno of bullets.
He’s soon lost to sight, but the sound is easy enough to follow.
Paul McCartney walks out in the direction of the discovered dino-signal and begins playing an ACTUAL ORIGINAL, WRITTEN FOR THIS ADVENTURE PIECE in an attempt to serenade hidden dino foes!
… "Oh shit," shouts
Paul over the hail of gunfire.
"That’s blown it! There’s only one thing we can do. I’m gonna have to come up with a brand new song, man – a calming kinda song!" As fast as he can Paul draws his guitar and clears his throat, hoping beyond hope that he can sing louder than an M60 and thereby serenade his hidden foes.
"Call your sisters," he begins, giving a special wink to Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex. He turns to
Stevo as he continues.
"Call your mothers,
Boys, boys.
Call your fathers, call your lovers,
Boys, boys.
Meet round with me down the hill,
Meet round with me if you will,
Come down to me by the fire,
Come down here to sing-song ville.
Call your aunts and call your uncles,
Girls, girls.
Call your nephews call your nieces,
Girls, girls.
Meet round with me down the hill,
Meet round with me if you will,
Come down to me by the fire,
Come down here to sing-song ville!""Crikey!" says Stevo, as the song comes to a close. He has to shout pretty loud to make himself heard over the gunfire still coming from further down the trail.
"Nice going! I don’t know about the dinofoes, but I feel pretty serenaded, mate!""Thanks, man," says Paul.
"You know, sometimes these things just kinda come to me man, it’s like some kind of divine inspiration or something. You know, if I’d been born another time and place, I think I might’ve liked to become like a shaman or a druid or something, you know, communing with nature and all that, I really di-""Whoa, shit man!" cries Steve Irwin, interrupting and knocking Paul McCartney to the floor.
"Get down! Enemy incoming!"He glances down to make sure Paul is ok and points as he looks up again.
"Crikey mate! They look totally bloody serenaded! Shit!"Wait until there's something to wrestle that isn't friendly, then wrestle.
The gunfire from further along the trail comes to an abrupt stop; at the same time a vicious herd of dinocats burst through the thick jungle.
Just as
Stevo knocks
Paul to the ground for his own safety, the herd of dinocats stop, backs arched and fur raised.
One hisses and leaps the ten feet between him and Stevo, claws outstretched as he flies.
…Steve Irwin catches the dinocat in midair, executes a perfect Australian Suplex, throws the dinocat in the air, and catches it by its tail. With a flick of his wrist, Stevo smashes the dinocats skull against a nearby tree!
Move after Archimedes.
Shrieking with anger, another two dinocats leap forwards to attack, charging at Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex. He kicks one dozens of feet into the air and snaps the second in two with his monstrous jaws, but the dinocats keep coming!
“Shit!” shouts Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
”I don’t know if I can hold them back! Their numbers are too great! There’s too many of them! What chance do we have? They will find us! They will take us! And we will beg for death before the end!”Paul McCartney gets to his feet to see what all the fuss is about.
He comes face to face with over two dozen ferocious dinocats!
Meanwhile, further down the jungle trail,
Davy Crockett is wheeling deftly through the creepers and the vines. He’s spotted a sign. Bent double, he follows the faint track through the roots and the leaves. Suddenly, and all but silently, he comes to a very small opening in the jungle canopy.
The sun shines down through the branches.
Just as Davy notices the incessant heavy machine gun fire has stopped, he looks up to observe the small clearing. He sees why the reason for the silence.
In the small clearing there is a large, apparently solid black cube. Before it stands
Archimedes, transfixed. Davy walks up to him.
Suddenly Archimedes turns and opens fire on Davy Crockett!
"Keep away man!" yells the Greek above the storm of heavy rounds.
"It’s a goddamned box, dude," he screams, apparently having taken leave of his senses.
Davy Crockett leaps to one side and cowers behind a fallen tree trunk as the bullets rip apart the scenery behind him.
"It’s MY goddamned box! And I’m gonna goddamn open it!"Just then a dinocat falls from the sky and lands next to Davy Crockett and spits in his eye.
Meanwhile back up the jungle trail, the leader of the dinocats speaks during a lull in the combat.
”Hahaha! You think you hurt us, tearing us into tiny bits? We have you surrounded! We have your man in a dress transfixed and mesmerised by our special box! Your best fighter is naked! You cannot win!”Sorry, I need to do a map. You're all in the same position as before, except Archimedes is on his own up the trail staring at a great big black box, and Davy is nearby taking cover. There is a herd of dinocats between Archimedes and Davy and the rest.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT:None.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Four Veteran Crocodile Hunter
Status: Naked.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate,
Bionic Right Ear.
Wounds: [HP: 100/100]Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Loads’a blood, mate! Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Four Veteran Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. +1 to impressing the ladies. Covered in blood and sick.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard,
KEYBOARD LEG.
Wounds: [HP:49/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
It’s Getting Better All The Time,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Four Veteran King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Naked. -1 to melee. -1 to legs.
Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmlegface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos,
Rocket Mono-Segway.
Wounds: [HP:59/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Broken Right Arm! |
Severed Leg!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
Multikilll! You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Four Veteran Philosopher
Status: Covered in sick.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Hippocratic Oath,
Absent Minded! 
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249261 times)