TURN EIGHT!
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT the Dinocat right into the evil box of evil!
"You bastard! Don't touch my arms!" says
Davy Crockett to the dinocat molesting his arm.
…Not even taking a run up, Davy swivels, kicks, and sends the adorable dinocat speeding through the air towards the black box!
…The dinocat hits it and disappears.
Shake off box effects, dodge flying dinocat, fix Davy's arm (again.)
…The flying dinocat snapping
Archimedes right out of his black box related trance, he belatedly reacts to the flying threat by
…throwing himself sideways directly at the black box!
Archimedes hits the black box and disappears.
At the last moment he would pull up his shirt and reveal the full power of his HORRIFYING SOCIALIST SPEEDOGUTS!
"Bloody ell," mutters
Paul McCartney as his wounds close up in response to the delightful healing ditty.
"Oh wait. I said that already. Right so. Trapped behind a fern near a large pack of raving DINOCATS. What's a man to do? Oh, wait up one moment."Suddenly Paul McCartney creeps out of the fern and yells toward the DINOCATS!
"Hey, you want some of this, lads?"He shows a brief sliver of his bloodied guts to entice the DINOCATS. A handful come towards him, purring.
"Now, on three... One, two,"McCartney reveals his hideous and horrifying socialist SPEEDOGUTS!
…The dinocats seem mightily impressed, and gather round the Beatle, rubbing themselves on his ankles and purring hard. One gives him a playful nip on the
bum.
Just then a terrible scream pierces the jungle air, and several of the dinocats skitter over to where Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex is lying thrashing about in the undergrowth.
…One of the dinocats runs away, the tyrannosaur’s front leg in his jaws!
Fight back!
Raging with anger and facing a hoard of dinocats, Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex’s teeth snap first this way and then that, until
…suddenly he accidentally bites off his own tail!
The remaining dinocats close in for the kill.
Wrestle that shaman!
All the remaining dinocats? No! Not all! For the greatest of them all stands a short distance away, upright on his two hind legs, towering over
Steve Irwin, Reptile Subduer and Aussie Extraordinaire. “Crikey mate!” shouts
Stevo to the monstrous cat-shaman-dinosaur hybrid.
“You’re a feisty little shit aren’t you!””Say that again, puny human! Say it again and die!” shouts Peter the Dinocat Shaman.
”My people shall eat you for dinner, you and your puny friends!”“I said,” shouts Stevo once more, verbally prodding his prey,
“You’re a feisty little shit aren’t you! Come ‘ere, big fella! Crikey! I think you just need a little bit of a hug and a few minutes to cool down in a nice box, eh mate!””Rawrrrrrrrr!” says Peter the Dinocat Shaman.
”A shameful display! You will pay for your insolence!”With a deft flick of the wrist Peter the Dinocat Shaman flings another Furball of Shamanic Energy towards Steve Irwin.
…Stevo dodges out of the way, turning at the last second and batting it back towards the shaman with his bionic ear.
…Peter the Dinocat Shaman narrowly avoids the blow!
“Crikey!” shouts Stevo, as he closes with his enemy.
“I guess that’s why I prefer to bloody well wrestle, mate! I couldn’t hit the side of a dinocat shaman with a bloody banjo! Oh well, CHARGE!!”…Steve Irwin charges towards Peter the Dinocat Shaman, diving arms first into a deadly combo move culminating in an incredible Australian Brainbuster! As his prey lies stunned on the floor, Stevo casually bends down and rips out the dinocat’s guts!
Wound Acquired: Peter the Dinocat Shaman:
Severed Guts!“Oh well!” says Stevo,
“I guess nobody likes to see that kind of carnage, but if a dangerous reptile won’t submit there’s just nothin’ for it, eh! Crikey! Here,” he adds, signalling to his nearby film crew.
“Any of you got a box handy to put this critter in?”Sorry, I need to do a map. You're all in the same position as before, except Archimedes is in a great big black box, and Davy is nearby taking cover. There is a greatly diminished herd of dinocats between Archimedes and Davy and the rest.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT:None.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Four Veteran Crocodile Hunter
Status: Naked.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate,
Bionic Right Ear.
Wounds: [HP: 100/100]Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Loads’a blood, mate! Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Four Veteran Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. +1 to impressing the ladies. Covered in blood and sick.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard,
KEYBOARD LEG.
Wounds: [HP:67/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
It’s Getting Better All The Time,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Four Veteran King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Naked. -1 to melee. -1 to legs.
Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmlegface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos,
Rocket Mono-Segway.
Wounds: [HP:67/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Broken Right Arm! |
Severed Leg!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
Multikilll! You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Four Veteran Philosopher
Status: Covered in sick.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Hippocratic Oath,
Absent Minded! Edward: 65/100. Severed Leg. Very Heavy Bleeding. Severed Front Leg. Heavy Bleeding. Severed End of Tail. Very Heavy Bleeding.
Peter the Dinocat Shaman: 80/100. Severed Guts. Severe Bleeding.
Dinocat Herd: 11/24 (currently all facing Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex!)
Lone Dinocat: ?/10
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249150 times)