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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248549 times)

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Ten.
« Reply #300 on: April 28, 2012, 09:06:40 pm »

"Whoa, who's driving this thing? Never mind that, it looks like that electric chap over there needs our help!"

Paul clamps down on the back of the Luftosaur and prepares to reveal his MIGHTY SPEEDOGUTS in hopes of making the DinoPANZER feel insecure!
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Ten.
« Reply #301 on: April 28, 2012, 11:00:16 pm »

"Is that man controlling lightning?"

Continue to covering fire!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Ten.
« Reply #302 on: April 29, 2012, 02:50:46 am »

Fix up the other bowienauts. It's not like that other dinopanzeris a threat or something.
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Ten.
« Reply #303 on: April 30, 2012, 11:04:22 pm »

Save Nikola Tesla! By Swerving the Luftosaur close and LEAPING ONTO THE dinoPANZER! And letting Davy take control!
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

What more do you need?

lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #304 on: May 01, 2012, 06:47:07 am »

TURN ELEVEN

Paul clamps down on the back of the Luftosaur and prepares to reveal his MIGHTY SPEEDOGUTS in hopes of making the DinoPANZER feel insecure!



"Whoa, who's driving this thing?” worries Paul. ”Never mind that, it looks like that electric chap over there needs our help!"

Holding on tight to the back of the tamed Nazi dinosaur, Paul McCartney gets ready to whip out his mighty SPEEDOGUTS to intimidate the dinoPANZER. ...But his shirt is stuck in his pants, and he can’t get his guts out!

Save Nikola Tesla! By Swerving the Luftosaur close and LEAPING ONTO THE dinoPANZER! And letting Davy take control!



Just then Paul has to hold on doubletight as Stevo takes the luftosaur into a sharp dive, swerving down towards the dinoPANZER before ...absent-mindedly falling off the hideous airborne beast and flailing through the air!

He lands on the dinoPANZER’s head, and bounces to the floor!

”Crikey, mate!” he says as he looks up. ”Are you Nikola Tesla? What are you doing here? And what’s my brain doing over there?”

Wound Acquired: Steve Irwin: Severed Brain!

Continue to covering fire!



"Is that man controlling lightning?" marvels Davy Crockett, temporarily lowering his rifle. He soon realises his mistake and raises it again, taking a quick pop at the dinoPANZER below. ...Evidently dismayed at the heavy rifle fire they’re taking, the crew of the dinoPANZER close the hatches!

Hang on! The dinoPANZER seems to be getting closer and closer!

Oh wait! Steve Irwin seems to be tumbling to the ground!

Oh dear! Wasn’t Stevo piloting this contraption?

Fix up the other bowienauts. It's not like that other dinopanzer is a threat or something.



Archimedes of Syracuse is feeling in a medical state of mind. His comrades are bleeding! They need help!

With Chinese medikit in hand he ...rushes over to Paul McCartney, ready to patch up his terrible light head wound! But suddenly the pteroschmitt hurtles into a terrifying dive towards the ground, and Archimedes slips forwards, loses his footing, and slides across the back of the pteroschmitt, ...falling towards Davy Crockett.

He reaches out a hand. He grabs Crockett’s leg! He feels something grab his leg! Something sharp!

Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse: Bruised Leg!

He screams!

He falls!

Suddenly he finds himself tumbling through the air, pulling Davy towards the ground with one hand and fending off a ravenous crockofoot with the other!

He lands!

He screams!

He cushions Davy Crockett’s fall!

Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse: Heavily Bleeding Face!

”Blast.” realises Paul. ”I’m all alone up here… Just me and my tamed Nazi flying warbeast. Hmm.”

Clean my hands with the Science WipesTM I keep on myself at all times.



With bowienauts falling from the sky all about him, Nikola Tesla realises what he has to- OHMYGODMYHANDSMYHANDSMYHANDSMYHANDSTHEFILTH!

...Tesla jumps to his feet, pulling out his Science WipesTM. He scrubs his hands so clean they shine! They shine so bright they blind! Panicked that he could be covered in dirt he can’t even see, poor Nikola Tesla runs off screaming to ...the south east! His electric polar bear charges after him! Suddenly the main gun of the dinoPANZER starts tracking with a strange dinosaury motor type sound. It fires!

...In his blind panicking run Tesla manages to avoid the explosion of the large shell that bursts forth from the Nazi tankosaur!

In his blind panicking run Tesla runs directly into the burning fountain of filth! Amazingly he falls right over the edge of the fountain, rolling over and landing on his feet!

His feet are on fire!

Item Acquired: Nikola Tesla: Science WipesTM

Wound Acquired: Nikola Tesla: Burning Filthy Feet!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
Mount Acquired! Steve Irwin: Subdued Nazi Pteroschmitt. Four turns remaining.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 03, 2012, 02:55:53 am by lawastooshort »
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Ten.
« Reply #305 on: May 01, 2012, 06:54:12 am »

((In before turn title change/ turn being finished))

Multiply this + Heal self.

(I propose we try to take over the tank. Also I won't be able to post more till saterday, so...)
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #306 on: May 01, 2012, 07:27:08 am »

"Don't worry, Mr. Electricity, ol' chap! I will save yooouuuuu!"

Paul McCartney sets the LUFTOSAUR's course full speed ahead towards the dinoPANZER! At the very last moment, he plans to leap off to avoid the impending war-dino-on-war-dino collision!
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #307 on: May 01, 2012, 07:56:41 am »

TACKLE THAT DINOPANZER, MATE!
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

What more do you need?

Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #308 on: May 01, 2012, 08:03:11 am »

You know, I could use a weapon upgrade.


Rip the turret from the dinoPANZER to use as a personal weapon!  Apply the MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT for leverage if necessary!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

FuzzyZergling

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #309 on: May 02, 2012, 12:20:31 pm »

Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
I see it, but I wouldn't worry about it.
(Also, are my hands clean or dirty? the status doesn't list any penalties, but the [ abbr ] for mysophobe says dirty.)

Mount my bear and demonstrate the superiority of Alternating Currents over Direct Currents (by bathing that DINOtank in lightning)!
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #310 on: May 03, 2012, 08:24:37 am »

TURN TWELVE

Rip the turret from the dinoPANZER to use as a personal weapon!  Apply the MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT for leverage if necessary!



Davy Crockett is sprawled on the ground an ancient Greek philosopher, having just fallen from a tamed Nazi flying machinosaur. He thinks back to a few seconds ago, when he was trying to take down a Nazi dinoPANZER contraption with his trusty Chinese flintlock rifle.

“No wonder I ended up falling on a nearby Greek philosopher!” he mumbles to himself. “I was trying to take down an armoured and bio-armed Nazi war machine with my antiquated black powder weapon! No sir! What I need is something more suited to these strangely overmodern times I find myself transported to! Yes sir!”

He rises to his feet.

He finds himself face to face with the gun turret of the lurking dinoPANZER.

His slightly stunned brain whirs into action: he grabs hold of the gun! He wrestles it up and down and back and forth, but can’t quite get it loose – there’s only one thing for it!

Holding tight to the end of the gun, he gives the turret some of his MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT!

...The turret is torn free! It flies into the air! It travels hundreds of metres to the east!

And so does the attached Davy Crockett!

Item Acquired! Davy Crockett: Nazi Gun Turret

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Severe Arm Bleeding!

Multiply this + Heal self.



Freed from the American that so recently landed on him, Archimedes gets up. He can’t see a thing! Milliseconds away from running blindly around in a wild panic, he realises he is bleeding heavily from the face, and the blood in his eyes is stopping him from seeing.

...He cleans himself up! He slaps a plaster on his bleeding face!

And then he sees the dinoPANZER. What the hell is Davy trying to- oh gosh! Where’s Davy going?!

“Chaps! We have to take down this Nazi war machine and find Mr Crockett! He’s just flown directly towards the last known position of ROBOSTALIN! Here, check out these algorithms, they might help or something!”

...Archimedes starts his by now familiar frantic arm waving, shouting manically about x and y before launching into what the casual observer might describe as a nineteenth century traditional English Morris dance! His knees reach his chest! His elbows flap out wide! He squats down low! The power of maths pervades the square, and his comrades all feel enhanced!

TACKLE THAT DINOPANZER, MATE!



Feeling pretty enhanced, mate, Steve Irwin ignores his brain lying mere feet away and stands. That damn dinoPANZER’s still there, fella! And he looks pretty pissed! Crikey!

Just as the dinoHEAD on the dinoPANZER turns to attack, Stevo leaps vertically into the air, backflipping over and landing on the head with his firm thighs clamped fast around the dinoJAWS! The dinoHEAD strains to open his monstrous jaws as Stevo leans in with his croc-whispering magical ways!

“Easy fella!” he whispers loudly in its ear. “There, there. It’s all gonna be ok. Oh! Look! Crikey mate! What’s that over there!”

With the dinoHEAD’s attention diverted, Steve Irwin nuts him in the face! He elbows him in the eye! He breaks his nose! He whips his belt off and ties it around the dinoJAWS before jumping off the dinoHEAD onto the armoured body of the tank. He delivers a stern admonishment!

“Right, you dumb croc! You’ve been a very naughty – HEY! Listen to me when I’m talking to you. Look at me. LOOK AT ME! I’m gonna count to three, mate, and then I’m gonna rip your head off and throw it on the time out step if you don’t behave. One. Two. Gosh, you’re a feisty fella aren’t you? THREE!”

...Steve Irwin rips the Nazi dinoHEAD off the tank! He throws it onto the nearest naughty step! Seeing a high speed diving luftosaur coming right at him he leaps off the armoured hull and ducks and rolls into cover!

Paul McCartney sets the LUFTOSAUR's course full speed ahead towards the dinoPANZER! At the very last moment, he plans to leap off to avoid the impending war-dino-on-war-dino collision!



"Don't worry, Mr. Electricity, ol' chap!” screams Paul McCartney at the top of his voice as he enters a fearsome dive on his pteroschmitt. ”I will save yooouuuuu!"

...At the very last moment, he leaps off to avoid the war-dino-on-war-dino explosion, tearing his guitar off his back and gripping tight onto both ends as he holds it above his head and floats gently down to the ground.

He just has time to duck and roll into cover before a massive fireball erupts into the night sky!

His expert ducking and rolling saves him from the waves of burning napalm that shoot out in all directions!

Mount my bear and demonstrate the superiority of Alternating Currents over Direct Currents (by bathing that DINOtank in lightning)!



Nikola Tesla is pretty impressed. He’s an expert dinoPANZER hunter, and even he couldn’t have taken one out as quickly as these Level Three Bowienauts! Although I suppose there were more than one. Although I suppose they don’t have an electric polar bear.

Just then the smoke clears, and four armed Nazi crew members stagger out of the shattered hull of the Nazi contraption. They raise their submachine guns whilst the bowienauts are still taking cover from the mighty fireball, spraying Archimedes with Nazi bullets! The first Nazi ...misses and suddenly Tesla remembers that Hitler was really into Direct Current! He’s totally enraged!

Tesla mounts his bear, grabbing the collar with one hand and swinging himself over its back before giving it a gentle prod in the sides with his feet. It charges forward!

Tesla’s electric polar bear busts the second Nazi to the ground before he can fire, and then rears onto its back feet as Tesla stands in the stirrups with electricity radiating outwards form his hands and his hair radiating outwards from his head.

A godlike crack bursts across the Speedograd night sky!

Boom!

Pure lightning bursts from Tesla’s fingertips as he fires bolt after bolt into the Nazi infidels who seem to turn into xrays of themselves before they burst into a shower of flaming flesh and bones!

A Nazi thigh bone flies through the air, impaling Archimedes through the chest and breaking his liver!

“Argh!” he shouts, quickly and correctly diagnosing the problem. “My liver! My liver!”

Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse: Broken Liver!

“Come on guys,” interrupts Paul McCartney. “We’ve gotta find Davy, man. I think he got flung to the east! We’ve gotta save him! He’d do the same for any one of us!”


Suddenly!


Suddenly the assembled bowienauts hear the magical mystical voice of the Magnificent Timelord. It sounds as if he’s directly above them!

“Hey guys! Look up dudes – I’m directly above you!”

So he is! David Bowie is gliding above the battlefield in his special winged sequin costume powered by his extra-tight jeans!

“Marcus was getting a bit demanding so I thought I’d take a break – I don’t get to see much field action nowadays so I fired up my special flightsuit. I’m gonna drop some spacetentacles down on my next run past. Grab hold!”


And then!


Swinging wildly in the wind as they cling to David Bowie’s multiple umbilical cords, the bowienauts are soon soaring into the sky towards the east, and the last known destination of Davy Crockett.

The four timechampions and the polar bear glide gently through the night, wafting in the putrid air over Speedograd, taking in the horrifying view and listening to Bowie’s anecdotes about that time when you know?

“…and so I said to him, no way man, and morphed into my Stardust form as my backup guitar materialised. He started to run but there’s no escaping from timejustice, man. I totally- oh, crap, guys, that’s Crockett’s location just ahead! He must’ve landed on the bridge! I don’t think I can put you down there with all those communists milling about, dudes, and I’m not risking the rockets today… we’re going to have to figure out a way to get you down to Crockett so you can all get back into the fight!”

As he glides, the Magnificent Timelord points ahead. In the burning light of Speedograd the bowienauts can make out the famous bridge over the Volga in the centre of the city. Their neural implants beep with Crockett’s location at the western end! As one they switch to night vision to get a better view. The injured Crockett is in hand-to-hand combat with several dozen unarmed communists!

They scan further along to the centre of the bridge, where their attention is immediately grabbed by the monstrous form of the forty foot tall ROBOSTALIN!


INTRODUCING: THE FIENDISH DESTROYER OF FREEDOM: ROBOSTALIN!


Spoiler: ROBOSTALIN (click to show/hide)
“There he is boys!” calls out McCartney. “The fearsome fiend of the far left! Wait! Hey! Zoom in on the area just in front of him! What the hell? Some poor chap’s in hand-to-hand combat with ROBOSTALIN! We’ve got to get down there and help him! Or Crockett! Blast! What’s going on, David? Who the hell is that down there?”

There’s a short pause as Bowie zooms into to ultraclose and scans the figure fighting the Soviet dictator.

“Oh shit… How the hell did he get there? I’ve had run-ins with this guy before… I’ve no idea how he turned up here. He seems to be fighting ROBOSTALIN, so we can’t just take him down. It could be a trap though. I’m gonna make one final pass to see if we can gauge his intentions, then I’ll strafe Davy’s position and hold a steady course so you can jump off. Ready fellas? Davy? Can you hear me? If you can, then get your arse into cover, I’m going to take down those 50 or so communists round you, okay?”


INTRODUCING: SPECIAL GUEST STAR!





Bowie glides over the battlefield, silent and low, giving the bowienauts a ringside view as ROBOSTALIN stoops to aim a punch at Rasputin, the Black Monk!

Blood spurts out the side of Rasputin’s head, but he ignores the pain and aims a hard kick at ROBOSTALIN’S groin. ROBOSTALIN starts to bleed severely!

Wound Acquired! Rasputin, the Black Monk: Heavy Head Bleeding!

Wound Acquired! ROBOSTALIN: Severe Groin Bleeding!

At the western end of the bridge, Crockett swings his knife in a vicious circle , taking down 3 communists whilst Boone munches on the jawbone of another!

The two nearest survivors jump forward, aimlessly flailing their fists at the brave American hero!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
Mount Acquired! Paul McCartney: Subdued Nazi Pteroschmitt. EXPLODED.
Maths Bonus! +1 to all attack rolls. One turn remaining.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: ROBOSTALIN (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

TAKING SUGGESTIONS FOR ROBOSTALIN’S ACTIONS

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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #311 on: May 03, 2012, 09:11:25 am »

I never thought I'd say "Let's take down Joseph Robot Stalin". Regardless...

"Let's take down Joseph Robot Stalin, boys!"

Paul McCartney DRAMATICALLY WHIPS OUT HIS GUITAR and swings it in the air as he aims a GENTLE LOVING BEAM at Robot Stalin!

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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #312 on: May 03, 2012, 10:02:04 am »

ROBOSTALIN: STALIN'S GAZE @ the largest group of anti-communists in vision!
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Caellath

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #313 on: May 03, 2012, 10:10:49 am »

Seriously, no one so far?

ROBOSTALIN: Dance to Mr. Roboto while singing it. Produce destruction accordingly.
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"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

USEC_OFFICER

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts at Speedograd. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #314 on: May 03, 2012, 10:43:51 am »

Wait a second. Two guest characters. At the same time?!?!?!?

I ought need to submit a replacement character then.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Also:

ROBOSTALIN: Dance to Mr. Roboto while singing it. Produce destruction accordingly.

This.
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