TURN SIX
Paul, sensing the suicidal results of his companions' actions, throws himself in front of the ROBOT NAZI TROOPER and uses his SPEEDOGUTS to absorb the scary from it!
"Troopers are intimidating. Nazis are scary. Robots are terrifying. Together?” rhetorically asks
Paul McCartney, as he dashes out from behind the dinoPANZER into full view of the terrifying NAZI ROBOT TROOPER.
”Well, chaps, I know what I must do!"...Paul plants his feet firmly on the ground in front of the scary robonazi monster, ripping open his shirt and revealing his bulging speedo-clad six-pack! Streams of horrific SPEEDOPOWER flow forth from McCartney’s guts towards the intimidating trooperbot Nazi, their recoil blasting the Beatle to the floor and their awful terror filling the ROBOT NAZI TROOPER with horrendous and incredible power. The Nazi doubles in size before the horrified and awestruck bowienauts!
Multiply this, fire the solar laser at the Nazibot, followed up by some suppressing fire and an attempt to run away from the soon exploding tank.
”Oh no, not ag-ARG BY THE GODS! That thing must be nearly twenty foot tall!” gasps
Archimedes of Syracuse as the ROBOT NAZI TROOPER expands before his eyes, Nazi head and robotic shoulders trooping through the floors and ceilings of the burning apartment block through which he strides.
”Chaps, you need to er… 6 uh… degrees… hypotenuse… Um…” ...he shouts out to his comrades, before dashing over to his solar laser.
...Firing off a blast of undiluted sunray, Archimedes sets the burning apartment block surrounding the Nazi robot on fire!
...He pulls out his submachine gun, letting off a few bursts of suppressing fire as he retreats backwards towards the Bowie drop pod, attempting to put maximum distance between himself and the hopefully soon to be exploding tank!
The robonazi shrugs off the splurge of bullets, but nevertheless appears a little intimidated!
Apply the MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT to the dinoPANZER! Kick it toward the Robonazi!
"Come on chums, it’s only a twenty foot tall solid steel roboNAZI with laserdeath eyes! I used to strangle them barehanded back on pop’s ranch! Yeah, ranch! Let me take care of this!"Davy Crockett rolls up his sleeves, and then applies his MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT to the dinoPANZER burning to death in front of him!
...As if struck by a righteous southern meteorite the dinoPANZER launches into the air, trailing a wake of flame behind it.
...Paul McCartney ducks and rolls as the dinoPANZER flies past where his head once used to be, hitting the dirt only just in time to look up and see the ROBOT NAZI TROOPER raise both his solid steel arms to his face in a terrified attempt at self-preservation!
...The ROBOT NAZI TROOPER vanishes in a cloud of flame and mighty explosion as a mushroom cloud of burning dinoPANZER blasts thousands of yards into the night sky! The burning apartment block collapses into a pile of fine dust, powdered communist brick shockwaving through the town square and painting everything within a mile in a light covering of red! Communists everywhere receive a three turn +1 morale bonus! As the smoke clears, nothing is left to be seen except a burning crater, at the bottom of which can be found a pair of smoking steel Nazi boots.
Behind the destroyed building the burning skeletons of half a dozen destroyed dinoPANZERS emerge from the smoke as it clears!
Get that fire outta me hair! Then hide behind some rubble, or something.
Standing in the open between the drop pod and his tank-kicking
comrade Crockett,
Steve Irwin is too flabbergasted by the amazing destructive power of the Texan boot, and forgets to put out his burning hair! He stands on a piece of nearby rubble to get a better view!
Suddenly a falling piece of robotic Nazi arm descends from the sky, piercing Stevo’s guts!
Wound Acquired: Steve Irwin:
Heavy Gut Bleeding!
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT+1 Maths bonus to bowienaut attacks. One turn left.
+1 Morale bonus to communists. Two turns left.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Burning and Bleeding Level Three Crocodile Hunter
Status: On fire. Bleeding.
Two turns from death!Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate.
Wounds: [HP:19/75] |
Heavily Bleeding Guts! |
Lightly Bleeding Ear! |
Burning Hair! |
Heavy Gut Bleeding!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Three Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. -1 to left leg use. +1 to impressing the ladies.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Wounds: [HP:33/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp! |
Severed Left Leg!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Three King of the Wild Frontier
Status: One turn of +1 Joy Bonus!
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Armface.
Wounds: [HP:53/75] |
Severed Left Arm!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Three Philosopher
Status: -1 to left arm.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Bent Left Arm!Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Absent Minded! Well, I think that’s blown any remaining sliver of stealth aspect of this mission.
All debris-related wounds are, of course, entirely randomised.
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249633 times)