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[Toaster]

PURGE THE INACTIVE

[Dermonster]

Well, Sinpwn hasn't been on the forum in months, you're getting in anyway.

[Gatleos]

BEAT THE DEKU BABA TO DEATH WITH THE CORPSE OF ITS BRETHREN

Also make sure it's a bludgeoning death so it produces deku nuts

[lawastooshort]

Bludgeon the planty fiend with the hilt of my sword.

[Dermonster]

Turn Fourteen: Gatlin tugs his stalk.

You guys are terrible at this.

Initiative

DEVOUR

Target
(...) The Deku baba lazily lunges at Lala! (...) Lala falls just out of reach, and it snaps it's own tongue again, opening the wound.

DEVOUR

Hayley, realizing she's in a video game world, waves her staff around and tries to cast A SPELL on the Deku Babas!

BEAT THE DEKU BABA TO DEATH WITH THE CORPSE OF ITS BRETHREN

(...) With a dying strength, the Deku baba attempts to finish what it started. (...) It's weakened strength fails to finish off Gatlin's hand, and it falls to the dirt, dead.

(...)
: "Avada Kadavera you son of a shroom!"

You wave your staff around in mystical patterns(Read: flailing wildly) while sticking your tongue out and making 'Thbbbbtt' noises. This does not accomplish anything.

(...)  You inneffectually tug on the Dead baba's stem, your hand bleeding on the thick plant. Your hands also gets covered in a white sticky fluid.

:  "This absolutely does not hurt at aarg."

Bludgeon the planty fiend with the hilt of my sword.

(...) With a sigh, you take a lazy pommel at the still alive Deku Baba. (...) You manage to bruise the distracted plant heavily.

: "Felt weird for a second there... Are you guys even trying!?"

Schmucks:
Player: freeformschooler
Name: Hayley
Status: THBBBBTTTT
Location: Lost woods
Inventory: Aqua Tunic Deku Staff
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Bruised leg.
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Lala
Status: Thumpa Thumpa
Location: Lost woods
Inventory: Red Tunic Deku Sword  Aloe Vera leaves x2
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Player: Gatleos
Name: Gatlin
Status: Tugging the stalk.
Location: Lost woods.
Inventory: Dark Orchid Tunic Deku Spear
Wounds: [HP:55/100] Side wound. Gnawed right hand.
Mooks:
Deku Baba 1
Health: [16/30]
Wounds: Bitten tongue. Thumped head.

[lawastooshort]

"Gatlin!! Ewwww."

Stab it in the... face?

[freeformschooler]

Excellent avatar, Lawas.

: "I was kinda hoping for Magic Missile, but THBBBBBTT works, too."

Don't stab it in the face. Search nearby rock deposits or plant life for better items/weapons.

[scapheap]

Jumping on the moron list
Name:Frank
Colour:Orange.

[Gatleos]

: "YOU THOUGHT I'D STOP AFTER THAT? OH NO. I'M PLAYING YOUR GAME DEKU BABA. WE'RE SEEING THIS THROUGH TO ITS CLIMAX."

Tug it harder! YOU HEARD ME

[monk12]

And now Gatleos's avatar is going to give me nightmares.

[Dermonster]

Turn Fifteen: It's a sex joke.

Incuming!

(Initiative)

Don't stab it in the face. Search nearby rock deposits or plant life for better items/weapons.

(...)With vague disinterest, you give one leaf a glance over and declare your deep investigation into the photosynthetic cycle complete. You write up a thesis and send it to Hyrule state college but it's rejected on grounds of 'Excessive stupidity, laziness, insufficient length, and quote"Holy shit it's written on a live snake"unquote.'

: Dammit, I was sure the editorial about 100% efficient solar panels tatooed into the small intestine would be good for at least a C...

Stab it in the... face?

(...)

:  GGRRRRRAH!

Just having about enough of this, you decide it's time to go full on gladiator. (...) The plant tries to dodge, but you just flat out don't give a shit and bludgeon it so hard the roots come out of the ground.

The deku baba writhes for a moment, then lays still.

You cave it's sku-membr-brai-head in thoroughly, just in case.

Tug it harder! YOU HEARD ME

(...): You tug once more, limp wristed, when suddenly something gives and a surge of white, sticky substance just envelopes you and Lala head to toe.

: I don't even have words for this. There are none to be found.
: WHY
: *Snerk*


Suddenly a Red, blue, green, and purple portal opens up on the side of the road, and a giant cotten candy cannonball shoots out of it and barrels into Hayley, sending both it and her into the puddle of Gatlins sap.

: Oh gods, it's everywhere...
: *Satiated revenge grunt*
??? : What the... what's this white sticky stu- oh hell no.


Schmucks:
Player: freeformschooler
Name: Hayley
Status: AUGH
Location: Lost woods
Inventory: Aqua Tunic Deku Staff
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Lala
Status: Berzerking like a true viking.
Location: Lost woods
Inventory: Red Tunic Deku Sword  Aloe Vera leaves x2
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Player: Gatleos
Name: Gatlin
Status: Feeling a bit woozy from the expelling of bodily fluids.
Location: Lost woods.
Inventory: Dark Orchid Tunic Deku Spear
Wounds: [HP:40/100] Side wound. Gnawed right hand.
Player: Toaster
Name: Trent
Status: The fuck is this? The fuck is that? The fuck are you?
Location: Lost woods.
Inventory: Pink Tunic
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Mooks:

[Toaster]

:  The man in a pink robe groans, and stands up.  He's tall, but not overly so, clean shaven, and has distinctive green eyes.  His head is shaved bald.

He is not smiling.

"What the he... who are all of you?  Where am I?"

For some reason, looking at him puts the name "Trent" in your mind.

Assess the situation!

[FuzzyZergling]

Moron list me, derm!
Zergman, Yellow.

[lawastooshort]

Isn't it awesome not to be a moron anymore, eh Toaster?

"Gosh. The... um... Hello."

Assess Trent. Also, try to discern where we should be going. Along the road? Follow! After wiping my face.

Also, I just realised the Aloe Vera leaves had a property. Hehe.

[freeformschooler]

: "Hey, I can do the innuendo thing, too!"

Conduct a thorough examination of our new party member.