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[NUKE9.13]

"Well, you see, Cassie- may I call you Cassie?, genetic research is a really delicate field, one where we must employ the height of safety measures to ensure there are no unfortunate accidents. We perform extensive, fail-safe testing on all our products before releasing them.
Obviously we cannot say much about our contract with the military, but I can assure you that our products will only be used for benign purposes- we are looking into things like increasing the reaction speed of soldiers so that they can perform their duties without endangering civilians, or increasing their resistance to injury- we abhor violence here at Simple Genetic Solutions; all our products are designed help our boys in blue survive their duty, not to help the military slaughter innocent civilians- a policy which I understand the military agrees with 100%.
I'd also like to mention our extensive non-military research- really, our work for the military is merely to fund our efforts into curing the myriad of diseases which plague mankind. Recently we have made a breakthrough with REALPANCEA^TM- unfortunately, it costs a lot to produce, and requires a complex administration which only our experts can perform, but anyone suffering from ((whatever that stuff cures, I forget)) can ask their insurance to pay for a visit to Simple Genetic Solutions, where we will do our very best to treat them."

Sell treatment with REALPANCEA at an exorbitant markup, and only at our own facilities. Patients will undergo a complex, entirely unnecessary procedure, during which we extract their genetic information, perform a few tests on them, then at the end inject them with REALPANCEA. 

[Loud Whispers]

"Well, you see, Cassie- may I call you Cassie?, genetic research is a really delicate field, one where we must employ the height of safety measures to ensure there are no unfortunate accidents. We perform extensive, fail-safe testing on all our products before releasing them.
Obviously we cannot say much about our contract with the military, but I can assure you that our products will only be used for benign purposes- we are looking into things like increasing the reaction speed of soldiers so that they can perform their duties without endangering civilians, or increasing their resistance to injury- we abhor violence here at Simple Genetic Solutions; all our products are designed help our boys in blue survive their duty, not to help the military slaughter innocent civilians- a policy which I understand the military agrees with 100%.
I'd also like to mention our extensive non-military research- really, our work for the military is merely to fund our efforts into curing the myriad of diseases which plague mankind. Recently we have made a breakthrough with REALPANCEA^TM- unfortunately, it costs a lot to produce, and requires a complex administration which only our experts can perform, but anyone suffering from ((whatever that stuff cures, I forget)) can ask their insurance to pay for a visit to Simple Genetic Solutions, where we will do our very best to treat them."

Sell treatment with REALPANCEA at an exorbitant markup, and only at our own facilities. Patients will undergo a complex, entirely unnecessary procedure, during which we extra their genetic information, perform a few tests on them, then at the end inject them with REALPANCEA.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sorry, was laughing all the way through reading your post :p

[Geen]

"Well, you see, Cassie- may I call you Cassie?, genetic research is a really delicate field, one where we must employ the height of safety measures to ensure there are no unfortunate accidents. We perform extensive, fail-safe testing on all our products before releasing them.
Obviously we cannot say much about our contract with the military, but I can assure you that our products will only be used for benign purposes- we are looking into things like increasing the reaction speed of soldiers so that they can perform their duties without endangering civilians, or increasing their resistance to injury- we abhor violence here at Simple Genetic Solutions; all our products are designed help our boys in blue survive their duty, not to help the military slaughter innocent civilians- a policy which I understand the military agrees with 100%.
I'd also like to mention our extensive non-military research- really, our work for the military is merely to fund our efforts into curing the myriad of diseases which plague mankind. Recently we have made a breakthrough with REALPANCEA^TM- unfortunately, it costs a lot to produce, and requires a complex administration which only our experts can perform, but anyone suffering from ((whatever that stuff cures, I forget)) can ask their insurance to pay for a visit to Simple Genetic Solutions, where we will do our very best to treat them."

Sell treatment with REALPANCEA at an exorbitant markup, and only at our own facilities. Patients will undergo a complex, entirely unnecessary procedure, during which we extra their genetic information, perform a few tests on them, then at the end inject them with REALPANCEA.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sorry, was laughing all the way through reading your post :p

I lol'd

[Armok]

A few more secret tests:
> Drop a subject in liquid tungsten

> Inject a subject in the head, decapitate before it spreads to the body, remove sensory organs, connect neck to power mains, cram a smartphone with the chassis removed into the brain, connect USB extension cord to the brain.

> liquify a subject thoroughly, mix them with lots of water, and sprinkle them over a forest.

[NUKE9.13]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Well, you see, Cassie- may I call you Cassie?, genetic research is a really delicate field, one where we must employ the height of safety measures to ensure there are no unfortunate accidents. We perform extensive, fail-safe testing on all our products before releasing them.
Obviously we cannot say much about our contract with the military, but I can assure you that our products will only be used for benign purposes- we are looking into things like increasing the reaction speed of soldiers so that they can perform their duties without endangering civilians, or increasing their resistance to injury- we abhor violence here at Simple Genetic Solutions; all our products are designed help our boys in blue survive their duty, not to help the military slaughter innocent civilians- a policy which I understand the military agrees with 100%.
I'd also like to mention our extensive non-military research- really, our work for the military is merely to fund our efforts into curing the myriad of diseases which plague mankind. Recently we have made a breakthrough with REALPANCEA^TM- unfortunately, it costs a lot to produce, and requires a complex administration which only our experts can perform, but anyone suffering from ((whatever that stuff cures, I forget)) can ask their insurance to pay for a visit to Simple Genetic Solutions, where we will do our very best to treat them."

Sell treatment with REALPANCEA at an exorbitant markup, and only at our own facilities. Patients will undergo a complex, entirely unnecessary procedure, during which we extract their genetic information, perform a few tests on them, then at the end inject them with REALPANCEA.

from us, on bay12, home of DF.

yeah, doesn't seem believable.

Are you calling a man literally named Mr Trustworthy a LIAR?

...well, fine. All I'm saying is, I doubt that Cassie shares your inexplicable scepticism.

[Fniff]

Right, we salvaged through the documents on Dr Clef in Site 19 while you conducted your interview, which went very well and pretty much launched the RealPancea treatment. We already have $1000 more dollars. Anyway, Clef. Apparently, this fellow was a high ranking doctor in the SCP Foundation, so we have a motive. Apparently, he took down the Challenger spaceship when he was five, is Satan and plays the ukulele. I'm not sure if he takes bribes, but if he is the Prince of Darkness I imagine he would not mind a few greenbacks to turn a blind eye. Or perhaps we could hire the man for double the pay of the SCP Foundation. I'm sure he would be pleased.

Aside from that, the results of our tests. Since you didn't offer much advice on the Subject Harvey, we decided to come up with our own tests. We made the area a No Fly Zone, then conducted the tests. It appears Subject Harvey has become the God of an undiscovered island tribe in little less then a month. The tribe makes offerings of children and wheat and Subject Harvey (AKA Yantar, Mother Of A Billion Spawn) gives gifts of gold and information. It's a bit unstable and unethical, but since when have we been both stable and ethical? One problem: Angelo don't have any space left in the basement! We need to move all our test equipment and subjects to Site 19. Angelo says "I was enjoying the miracle of grass while you were yapping about Site 15 or whatever the fuck, so I guess I ignored it. We need about 800 dollars if we wanna keep this secret and also to pay my dealer. Just a bit. 200. It was good weed, come on!"

So, we can either completely expose ourselves for zero cash by moving it in trucks or pay our earnings away. What do you think?

[mcclay]

Pay for it to be kept secret.

[NUKE9.13]

Do we need to move all of it? Interesting as some of the test subjects are, I'm not sure they are worth 1000 dollars. Just... get rid of them. Possibly feed them to miss sea queen or whatever.

Oh, yes, hire Dr Clef.

[Armok]

> Dead men tell no tales.

[Fniff]

Well, there goes 500 out of 1000. That's annoying.

We tried to track down Dr Clef, but it seems that he isn't on the map at all. The best we have is a prison record noting a massive prison break caused by a wall spontaneously combusting. A mister Clef was one of the ones who was not recovered. However, this is on an island in the middle of the Atlantic with the only viable access being via helicopter due to incredible amounts of sulfuric acid within the water around the island, so no-one really knows what in God's name happened. Perhaps he died, but there has been evidence that Clef is alive. Such as the email, that came a few months after the breakout.

Anyway, test results. SGS-001 (We decided to settle on a proper naming scheme based on SCP Files we have read) was dipped in liquid tungsten. It appears that the subject blended with the tungsten and is now a liquid form. It can shape itself into a vaguely human form but it's apparently easier for it to assume a liquid form. Somehow it can move on it's own and has a brain. We are still confused about that. SGS-002 was decapitated and we jammed a USB cord into his head. Now it appears he entered the USB cord and is now made entirely of data. I think we may sell this to some artificial intelligence companies so they can dissect him and analyze the code to perhaps reverse engineer life itself. Or not. SGS-003 was sprinkled liberally over a forest in Canada and it appears that the forest has grown aggressively. The forest is impossible to breach even with explosives and a nearby town was overrun with trees and had to evacuated. I'm glad we keep these in a booby-trapped room or we may have lost some profits.

Some other news. It appears that there are two new companies that are making huge leaps in technology. Semper-Jergen is a Swedish company that has managed to manufacture an effective space-travel method called "Hausen-Light". We don't know how it works, but it seems that tests show that it can go across the entire world while consuming less fuel then driving to a nearby shop. However, this method requires a patient and mathematically nclined person to watch over the numbers and make sure the entire crew don't end up turning into fish or something. This is where Aperture Science comes in. Formerly extremely bankrupted due to a neurotoxin gassing by their sub-par AI (Which is the only one that can be called sentient, by the way), it has risen from the flames like a phoenix, augmenting their AI technology to perfection. They haven't released their tech yet, but they should do soon.

What stand should we take on these new developments?

[Armok]

> Take a brain scan of ourselves, put it on a disk and inert that into the brain of a new subject.

[NUKE9.13]

No, no. Enough Wishium tests. It's time for something new and exciting!

Site19: nuclear reactor. That sounds useful. I bet we could harness the radiation to speed the mutagenic process. Make it so. Our goal is to use the acquired data to develop a more potent psychic-human thing.
What? There is a risk of them going mad and rampaging through the facility? So? Executive staff have firearms, and who cares about the regular workers?

E: Oh, and wecan ignore the other companies for now. They are no threat to us.

[Armok]

Why stop when it doesn't interfere with anything else we do simultaneously? One day some of these freaks might prove useful.

[Loud Whispers]

Is a hostile economic takeover possible?

[Fniff]

Well, sir.

A hostile economic takeover wouldn't be in our budget at all, especially since we run a monopoly on genetic solutions that do anything. Speaking of, sir, I think we need a new business plan since the military just told us to "Fuck off and die", since we diverged the whole... genetic thing. Cassandra was a berk and actually used our names, so now the military is pissed at us for admitting our names. We need a new primary business model or we can live off a steady flow of cash from the Real Pancea. The Wishium wasn't really doing that well in the black market anyway. There is one thing we can do for revenge, though. Subject Harvey is nearby a convoy of important US Navy battleships. If we took those out, the war effort would be crippled.

What do you say, sir?

Oh, and the brain scan: We'd need to borrow that tech from Aperture Science, and they are making this whole AI thing as hush hush as possible. We managed to get the information from one of Angelo's friends.