Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Fniff]

Um.

Well, I guess I'll let the distress signal speak for itself.

Spoiler: Recieved About Two Hours Ago On A Radio (click to show/hide)

*Voice identified as Sgt. Anderson of Red Wolf Alpha, the team we sent in*
Fucking SGS... Listen, if you guys can hear this, I'm most likely dead. Those fucking Atlantean bastards are much more powerful then anticipated. We went through the depressurization chamber, and entered the corridor. We initiated Operation Underwater Blitzkrieg by trying to kidnap one of those mermaid things.  They are much more nasty then we thought. It promptly killed three of our members via energy beams after shrugging off a harpoon through the chest, and escaped. We tried to get hte fuck out of that mess by going through the corridor again, but we got cornered by those steampunk guys. We took down one thanks to my shotty, but then the rest of the team died. Except me. I'm currently trapped in a room slowly filling up with water. We had the best weapons, the best armor, they should have been killed. Those fuckers... Listen, I suggest just giving up. This shit isn't worth it. You will lose more members then you can believe. At best, this place can be left alone. If you don't leave loose ends, nuke it. It's not worth it. Anderson out.

Well, er... I'm going to suggest leaving it... but I do think there is an advantage. If we can capture just one mermaid, we would have functional magic. Do you know how much money that would make?

Also, Hausen-Light and Aperture Science are interested. Just write up your version of the deal and they'll write theirs.

[Armok]

The solution is simple: put a small  nuke under one of their cities. Boom. The city will be torn apart, and the heat from it create an upwards current, meaning we should be able to get ahold of dead mermaids form the raising wreckage. Take one of the corpses, remove some key areas of the brain to get rid of personality and sense of self without losing memories of how to use magic, then take someone decently loyal and smart enough to understand and explain the powers they get, and fuse them with the corpse using WISHIUM.

If a nuke is to hard to get, any means of generating a sufficiently large explosion and amount of heat should work.

[Loud Whispers]

I propose an alternative!

SEND MORE MEN.

UNDERWATER NORMANDY.

(Consider our mutants?)

[NUKE9.13]

Mr Fniff, can you tell me what a company like ours does when the crack commando team we send somewhere is wiped out? We send more crack commando teams until one of them manages to do something useful.

Ideally, we would want a Hero to go down there and sort things out. The sort of person who could use their own weapons against them, and find health kits in garbage cans. Possibly have some sort of bullshit moral choice system? Whatever, so long as the end result is dead Atlanteans.

Until we can find a Hero for this purpose, just keep sending down more teams. Give them WISHIUM- that should at least let them take down a few Atlanteans before getting killed.


Speaking of Health Kits, mister Fniff, tell Dr J to get in here, would you? I have an idea. Some sort of... green... pill... stuff, which makes you healthy. I want it mass produced, and then littered about our offices. In really unlikely places. Behind vents. In flowerpots. Inside computer monitors, so that the only way to get at it is to smash the screen.

[Repulsion]

Until we can find a Hero for this purpose, just keep sending down more teams. Give them WISHIUM- that should at least let them take down a few Atlanteans before getting killed.

A few Atlanteans? If we play it right, we could potentially turn the Atlantis situation around using WISHIUM.

Send in a Red Wolf team, all armed with a WISHIUM pill. When they encounter one of the magical mermaids or steampunk guys, have them pop the pill and venture in. Preferably while taking machine-gun fire and drowning. With poisons in their blood. And recently having swallowed metal. Basically, use WISHIUM to create a perfect counter for the Atlantean's bullshit, while at the same time trying to get in as many other mutation-perimeters as possible.

Another option is to get some drones/spybots/intel-gatherers and send them in. With any luck, we can learn about the habits, abilities, and etcetera of the Atlanteans. Then, we can use that knowledge to develop a specific WISHIUM mutation parameter perfect for, as said above, countering the Atlanteans.

[NUKE9.13]

Oh, yes. The deal with the other Mega Corps.

Don't step on our toes and we won't step on yours.

And ask Aperture if they have any spybot thingies we could borrow. Infiltrate Atlantis with them, perhaps use them to scatter health pills throughout the city.

-Keep sending in mercenaries, but give them WISHIUM to give them an edge- or rather, a foothold- in combat.
-Maybe look around for some sort of mopey tough guy with issues who would be suitable as an elite soldier to send into Atlantis with all the best genetic upgrades to run around being a one-man genocide machine.
-Have Dr J and his team develop health pillz. Be exceedingly sloppy about their storage.
-Organise a sort of mutual non-aggression pact with the other megacorps, and see if Aperture has any robots we could use for our 'exploration' of Atlantis.

[Powder Miner]

Experiment with Wishium until we make a mutant suitable for combat. Then repeat the same process over and over to make mutant attack teams to send to attack Atlantis.

Expose a Wishium subject to more Wishium in the five minutes of thing-receiving.

[mcclay]

Nuke's plan is the best.

[Armok]

My plan was dwarfier.

[Fniff]

Um, sir? Are you okay?

Dr. Johnston really clocked you when you suggested storing them in screens and such. I didn't like it myself, but Dr. Johnston certainly... well,  anyway, he's developed it (It's called RealPancea, actually) and he's stored it in first aid kits liberally placed at areas where wounds from combat or otherwise would be likely and would result in a need for immediate healing. He's also updated the weapons locker with a few Red Wolf weapons. In other news, we sent in a few teams and they have managed to establish a firm foothold. They can't initiate operation Shock and Awe, but it'll do. They have a base set up, and Red Wolf has offered their services for free in order to destroy the Atlantean menace. In their words, "If these bastards can wipe out a Red Wolf team, these bastards could wipe out the world."

Aperture Science said they didn't have any spybots at the moment, but they happily donated a free Asmiov-Grade AI Core with free installation. We also get a choice of the personality. They also offered to do some advertising for us, showing an example (Featuring the Cave Johnson Replica, (Sort of) CEO!) here: Military Grade Turrets

Spoiler: Personalities (click to show/hide)

Rick, the Military Core: This core specializes in adventure, swashbuckling and dashing. And military operations.
GLaDOS: Really smart, real mean. Currently bound by Aperture's new laws (Law One: Harm Humanity Law Two: Ignore Law One, It's Lying), it can maximize your fun content in your megacorp. Just please, don't give it access to neurotoxin.
Rat Core: This core knows it's stuff. Based the last surviving original Aperture Science employee, this Rat Core (Based on the employee's name) can help your company in the most dangerous of situations. Ever so slightly schizophrenic.

What do you think, sir?

[Armok]

Rat.

[Geen]

Rick. And have him oversee the Red Wolf operations.

[Loud Whispers]

Rat.

Wouldn't be rapture without a schizophrenic overlord protecting everyone from themself.

I mean, we already have the wishium

[Fniff]

Hm, okay sir... I'm going to flip a dime and decide... Actually, nah. If you can't decide, I'll see what I can do.

I guess Rick is a lot less schizophrenic, so that's our choice... Hey, sir. Do you mind if you come with me? We're going to delete some of those files in the booby-trap room. Don't worry, the booby trap is disabled until you are out of the room. It's just pretty normal stuff, it's just that we have got some documents that could be useful.

[Loud Whispers]

booby trap?