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[Dermonster]

Quickly flip through the dark book for relevant knowledge.

[micelus]

BREAK IT!!

[BullDog]

Quickly drag Fekod into the underworks!

[lawastooshort]

Backflip down the stairwell. Explore with hand over mouth but ready for extreme wrench-based anti-Nazi violence.

[Gatleos]

I made explosion sound effects with my mouth while writing this turn. Feel free to add your own while reading!
Turn 15 - Charge Shot

Sweet mother of Armok...
Fire the last of the explosives towards the machine gun, take a big old swig of booze and hightail it down the stairs.

(ATT) (DEF) Leveling Old Faithful at the mecha, you fire off the last packet of C4! It spirals through the air, meeting its target head-on. And by head-on I mean the packet of C4 flies straight through the mecha pilot's head and explodes inside his cranium, obliterating the whole mecha! The explosion seems larger than usual, radiating outward and collapsing the street around the mecha! You, Zack and Hilda are blown down the stairs by the blast at high velocity, slamming hard into the stone floor as the stairwell crumbles around you!

(DEF) Your right shoulder is dislocated by the landing, making your remaining arm useless. You pour the bottle of booze all over your face, about half getting in your mouth.

Quickly flip through the dark book for relevant knowledge.

(...) You peruse the book, looking for some useful passages.

Hazred 2:37
And lo, the madness-plagued centurion spoketh thus: The bone of the living doth contain naught a living cell, but a connective tissue. Upon liberation, it may be raised in a host who still stirs.

You are suddenly knocked off your feet by a powerful gust of dust as the stairwell collapses behind you!

BREAK IT!!

(...) You slash at an important-looking pipe with your not-weapon, but fail to damage it in any way. A deafening explosion from somewhere above catches the ear of the guard, and he begins ascending the other staircase to investigate!

Quickly drag Fekod into the underworks!

(...) The explosion drags you down to the Underworks first, toward the hard stone floor! (DEF) You gracefully spring off the floor, only mildly scraping your hands on the rough stone, and land on your feet in time to watch the stairwell collapse.

Backflip down the stairwell. Explore with hand over mouth but ready for extreme wrench-based anti-Nazi violence.

(...) You too are caught by the explosion, which propels you down the stairwell! (DEF) You catch the full brunt of the blow, two of your ribs snapping on impact!

The guard in the pumping station ascends the stairs, arriving in the hallway above to find a group of adventurers writhing in pain. He stares for a moment, stunned.

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | White Robes | Scripture of Lumithos
Wounds: [HP:99/100] Light Bleeding
Skills: First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth
Wounds: [HP:46/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Necromancy | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Bone Spicorpion
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages
Wounds: [HP:34/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Dislocated Right Shoulder | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages
Wounds: [HP:49/100] Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Master Thief

[Dermonster]

Start gibbering in tongues and send the Bone Spicorpion at him.

[Sinpwn]

Attempt to intimidate him by hopping on one foot and flailing my useless limbs while roaring incoherently.

[micelus]

Hide inside the machine.

[lawastooshort]

"Gosh. Bother. Hello!"
One-two-pain-pom him in the face (the Nazi)

[BullDog]

Kick the nazi in the stomach. If he already dead or gone, then tear a piece of my robe off to bandage Fekod. Then study the scripture.

[Gatleos]

lawastooshort:
your characters evil now kthnxbye
Turn 16 - What The Hell, Heroes?

Start gibbering in tongues and send the Bone Spicorpion at him.

(ATT) (DEF) The Bone Spicorpion leaps onto the guard's face and begins crawling all over him! He screams and runs in circles, swatting at his face as the Spicorpion stabs at him with its tail!

Attempt to intimidate him by hopping on one foot and flailing my useless limbs while roaring incoherently.

(...) You leap to your feet, screaming and violently thrashing your limbs! The excitement is apparently too much for the (obviously old and weak) guard, and he enters cardiac arrest! He flails about pathetically, yelling for help in his crazy moon language. It sure would be a dick move to punch him in the head right now...

You feel lightheaded from all this vigorous activity and blood loss, and black out temporarily. You wake up to find Zack standing over you.

Hide inside the machine.

(...) Despite being nowhere near any danger, you decide to hide inside the water pumping machine. Welp, you're inside the machine. You can hear gears turning around you.

One-two-pain-pom him in the face (the Nazi)

You launch yourself at the defenseless old man, your fists burning with an unholy lust for blood! (ONE!) (DEF) The Nazi guardsman doesn't even see you coming, and you clock him across the face with your spiked glove! His jaw is unhinged by the attack, and the rusty nails dig deep into his flesh and tear his face apart! He falls to the ground, trembling in a pool of his own blood.
(TWO!) (DEF) You descend upon him once more, bringing your other glove down upon his head! His skull is caved in by the force of the punch, greying out his brain and spattering you with the man's blood! You revel in the taste of it, laughing manically as you lick it off your face and stare at your victim with a wide-eyed, animalistic fervor. You stand over the mutilated corpse, savoring the murder thoroughly. Derm inches away from you, obviously creeped out.

Kick the nazi in the stomach. If he already dead or gone, then tear a piece of my robe off to bandage Fekod. Then study the scripture.

(...) Noticing that the guardsman has already been thoroughly... taken care of, you bend over a prone Fekod and bandage his chest with a torn off piece of your robe. All the bleeding has stopped! You take out the Scripture of Lumithos, flipping through it and studying the words within. Many of the words become clear to you, almost enough to begin learning some spells from the book!

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | White Robes | Scripture of Lumithos
Wounds: [HP:98/100] Light Bleeding
Skills: First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth
Wounds: [HP:42/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Necromancy | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Bone Spicorpion
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x3
Wounds: [HP:34/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Dislocated Right Shoulder | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages
Wounds: [HP:49/100] Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Master Thief

[Dermonster]

Meh, punch out a guy's head and lick up the residue? Done it in pre-school. Although not so much 'punch' as 'tear asunder with dark magics'
 
 And obviously I was backing away to admire it more thoroughly. 
 
 Raise corpse.
 

[Sinpwn]

Attempt to relocate my arm through forcefully leaning on a wall.

[micelus]

Find out how the machine works.

[lawastooshort]

((Oh bother, I forgot about the broken ribs. I was going to request healing, but I guess I'm not the worst off amongst us. But one quick heal of Hilda would do wonders for our combat capabilities, whereas one quick heal of Fekod wouldn't change all that much!))

"Gosh! Well, he had it coming, the dirty old Nazi! Come get some, Nazi fiends! Give me a P! Give me an A! Give me an I! Giv - Ooh, gosh Derm, are you letting me have another go?"

Perform a silent post-combat warm-down and stretch routine!

"Chaps, I think we'd better get moving before someone comes to investigate all the noise... and er... perhaps fix Fekod... or..."



edit: "I didn't mean it Zack! It just... I just... I... er..."