Monday Evening Reequip FIST OF RAGE. Then go to the cat-woman, and offer to walk her home.
Cursing loudly to sustain your anger, you attempt to reequip your FIST OF RAGE [1]. Your other fist explodes!
Remembering Jan’s earlier offer, you go to find her and offer to walk her home. She accepts, although she’s a little concerned by your appearance [5].
Morale Drop! Got no hands!
Morale Drop! This hurts!
Morale Drop! Extreme bleeding!
Morale Boost! Nice walk home!
Failure Rating: 19.
Morale: -9.
Drag self home, ripping people apart with the chain-katana handle.
You drag yourself home, trailing blood behind you from your gory stumps. Along the way nearly every one crosses the road or walks faster to avoid you, but not far from your home you manage to stealthily crawl up to a passing pedestrian [5]. You rip him into tiny pieces with your chain-katana handle! He is viciously struck down! You rush home before anyone tries to restrain you.
Morale Boost! Powder Woodcutter: No-Legged Dwarven Murderer!!
Morale Drop! Painful cut on your left leg!
Morale Drop! Painful cut on your right leg!
Morale Drop! No CHAIN-KATANA!
Failure Rating: 49.
Morale: 3.
Powder Woodcutter has gone more berserk.Warning! Warning! You have reached ULTRAFAIL! At this level of incompetence, all GenCorp staff are encouraged to slay you mercilessly and will receive tax-free cash and Morale bonuses for doing so! You will not be fired!"Heh heh heh... Oh jeez, time to go!"
Danny glanced up, saw the clock, got up and printed off a few copies of his 'work', then headed out, tucking the pages into a pocket/jacket/pants. Hey, not too bad for his first day, right? He'd only been horribly injured about... Well, he couldn't remember how many times, but he was still alive, so whatever.
He'll wave happily to any co-workers, provided they don't attempt to murder him, and will nervously avoid any mutilated corpses or other signs of destruction. Yes, even if it means going quite far out of his way; this workplace is like that.
Once home, here's Danny's Mental To-Do list:
1) Say hi to flatmates, apply ancient bag of frozen peas from the freezer to various bruises, shower and get over the horrible trials of his first day at work.
2) Contact his laid-back, sunglass-wearing friend, Rick, who claims to be a big-shot in the film industry, (which is why he never does any real work) and enquire as to how he'd go about publishing his totally-awesome screenplay. Rick can probably be found hanging out at the Employment office.
3) Check fridge/freezer of apartment for any food; fry it up. Eat.
4) Collapse and start snoring. Wait not before setting out everything for work tomor- Aw, crap.
You print off the ‘minutes’ to ‘check’ at home, still chuckling over that last scene with the chamber pot, and successfully make your way home [4]. You say hi to your horrified flatmates, explain that it’s all ok actually, not as bad as it looks, and apply frozen peas to some of your wounds before getting cleaned up [4]. That’s better. Before dinner you pop to the local Employment office to see if Rick’s hanging out – he is! He reads your script, nearly bent double with laughter the whole time, and promises to ring in the morning once he’s had time to speak to this producer he knows or something [5].
It’s getting pretty late when you finally get home, but you have time to ransack the apartment for food and fry it up: you create a massive feast! You eat it all! You flatmates will hate you when they get back, but who cares! You feel a massive surge of mighty power [6]. You fall asleep at the table, face first in the remains on the plate. They’re definitely going to hate you. But who cares! You feel tremendously rested! You feel cured of depression!
Morale Boost! Feel a bit better!
Morale Boost! Perhaps you’ll be famous!
Morale Boost! MIGHTY POWER!
Morale Boost! Tremendous rest!
Failure Rating: 20.
Morale: -8.
Tracy tries desperately to stop the blood from streaming down her face. Scooping up her ear she proceeds to elbow her way out the door and then runs to the closest ER to get her ear sowed back on. She'll probably end up spending the night in the hospital... 
Squealing, you stop the blood streaming down your face with most of the rest of the first aid kit and grab your ear. You smash open the door and run straight to the nearby hospital, rudely barging past the waiting sick.
“My ear! My ear!”
Much to your surprise you’re seen to immediately [5] – what doctor doesn’t like a good bit of ear replacement? Mine did, and yours does too! It’s sewn back on and looks as good as new! You get home in time to eat quite well and get to bed quite early. After the day you’ve had, it’s about all you want to do.
Morale Boost! They fixed your ear!
Failure Rating: 42.
Morale: -13.
Warning! Your morale level indicates that you are close to depression. This will affect your ability to work.Warning! You have reached MEGAFAIL! You are NOT IMPORTANT enough to be fired by BRUCE HALFORD HIMSELF, although you ARE blessed to have seen him. Your Morale is NEGATIVELY affected by your impending unemployment.Break more laws of teh physics via a Aperture Science Portal Gun in my hands and thinking with Portals to get home, and when i do get home I do surgery on myself and fixing my body.
You're not exactly sure what happened, but suddenly you're at home! With a strange device in your hands! You get your home surgery kit and out and fix yourself up, and although you unsmash your crotch, you seem to have misplaced your foot [6]. But you feel much better anyway! Perhaps teh physics is broken!
Morale Boost! Unsmashed crotch!
Morale Boost! Unsmashed knees!
Item Acquired! GenCorp Science Portal Gun!
Failure Rating: 7.
Morale: -8.
Walk home past the gym gazing into the female aerobics class as I go.
You head home for a well-earned break and the rest of that lovely lasagne you cooked at the weekend, and you take the route past the gym so you can ogle the 18-24 Female Only Aerobics class on the way. Oh hell yes. You even notice the lamppost just as you're about to walk into it!
Morale Boost! Oh hell yes!
Task Assigned Attend licensed janitor accreditation morning tomorrow!
Failure Rating: 4.
Morale: 4.
... ... ... ... ... ...
It's Tuesday! Rise and Shine and Stuff! You need to get to work promptly so you can participate in what Bruce Halford would only refer to as "Stage Two of the Selection Process"!How do you get to work, oh faithful GenCorp employees?Edit: missed an "r".
Author
Topic: Roll to Work at GenCorp! Tuesday: The End: A New CEO. (Read 64884 times)