Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

No

0 (0%)

What?

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

[Stworca]

I also request to be an assassin.

If you ask why I will slit your throat.

You'll have to die as general first.

[Icee77]

I'll be a weird kid.....

[KaguroDraven]

I'll be a weird kid.....

The only weird kid is my brother's son, a freak who doesn't eat rocks! He tries to eat the horses!

[Johnfalcon99977]

Dear Sir, I would like to know my (And everyone elses) current stats.

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Useless mercenaries (click to show/hide)

Look at them! They were sure that even if they lose, they'll be able to retreat into the city and defend it. They ALL feed the stones now, and nothing stands in our way! THIS CITY IS JUST THE BEGINNING, THE ENTIRE WO- oh, look, a fancy rock.


- Sir, what should be done with the population?
...
- Sir?
...
- Sir!
WHAT?! Oh.. yes. We'll join them into infantry. They seem to be capable.


- Isn't that a bit too generous?
Don't we treat infantry like slaves anyway?
- Sir, we do, sir. You are a genius.
Yes, now leave me. I have found myself a new advisor!


Oh, wise Stone, which tactics should we use during the following battle? What? What is it? Your name is Sharon? I'M NOT LETTING A WOMAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO! ADVANCE!


- The enemy outnumbers us with heavy cavalry. We have more horse archers.. and..
Yes?
- Well, we have some infantry slowing us down, using our food and destroying the Armenian countryside.
Stone damn it! Why weren't they left to guard the towns?!
- We..
ARGH!


Our archers will take care of themselves. Place them on the flanks. Have them tackle enemy horse archers.
- Sir.. but the arrows..
Place the Skirmishers in the middle of our line. Enemy archers will shot at them.
- Isn't that dangerous?
They're INFANTRY, fool!


- What about their cavalry? They have twice as many heavy cavalry. Our loses will..
At that rate you'll never command even a single unit of cavalry!
- I'm your masseur.. sir..
...
- ...
..Your point?

Spoiler: Wedge? (click to show/hide)

What now? What? No Dwayne Johnson, our plan will work for sure. Look for yourself!



Our useless infantry engaged the cavalry! CHARGE! Send in the general! Battle is one of the trials of Rock and Sand.
- What are the other trials?
This information is classified.


Useless Infantry 1 : Look! Our mighty general is actually fighting side to side with us!
Observant Useless Infantry 1 : You mean he fights on a horse, and we fight in horse manure.
Useless Infantry 2 : It's called horse MANEUVERS you dumb ass! No wonder you're an infantryman! We-


Useless Infantry 17 : ..and while these goods would stabilize the situation on Armenian market, importing that much wealth would attract too much attention from foreign powers, as well as..
Parthan Cataphract 1 : BY THE LUMBER! MY HEAD HURTS! SLAY THEM!
Parthan Cataphract 2 : Form wedge! We'll face Armenians in just a second


Parthan Cataphract 3 : Are we there yet?


Parthan Cataphract 8 : I wonder where are these Armenians going..
The last intelligent Parthan ( who also happens to be a mahican) : FOOLS! THEY ATTACK US!
Did he just call other Parthans.. fools..? SPARE THIS MAN!


Panicked Parthan Cataphract : Run! We're losing!
Observant Parthan Cataphract : We appear to be surrounded.
Parthan Cataphract Philosopher : What's the point anyway..?


Parthan King : You there! ARMENIAN! What happened to my cataphracts?! Is there nobody left?
Oh, there are bodies all right. Armenians! ADVANCE!

Spoiler: King of Cowards (click to show/hide)

Cut off his way out! Cut it off i say!
- That's what she said..? (and THAT is how the trend started!)


- Sir, might i ask you something? It's about my mother.
Ah yes, her.. How did your mother die again?
- She was murdered in front of your palace, sir.
Oh, right.. Your question was..?
- Why didn't you open the doors when she was screaming for help?
I was reading. Wait.. is the enemy king running away!?


Noooo! Damn it all! We'll have to waste time and fight him again..


It seems that the Parthans have one more city to the south.


- What about the one north?
Ah yes.. We've exiled someone there, didn't we? He keeps sending empty blocks, with just his signature carved.. I guess there is nothing north after all..


The western exile has sold some of our useless "treasure" maps, and for six hundred gold coins! Silly Greeks!


Now to finish Partha off... Stone be with us!

[Stworca]

I'll be a weird kid.....

The middle kid is weird. Just look at his portrait! LOOK AT IT! A freak!

Dear Sir, I would like to know my (And everyone elses) current stats.

These are absolutely marginal. I may do a breakdown of them sometime later, but honestly.. Assassin is about the only character whos 'stats' really matter. Tell you what.. I'll inform when someone reaches a full 10 in something.

[Dsarker]

Dear Sir, I would request Armenianing.

[Stworca]

Dear Sir, I would request Armenianing.

You need to be somewhat more specific, good sir. General? Spy? Exile (diplomat)? One of the women? Masseur? A tree?

Next update, or perhaps even two updates, later today. Armenians roll over enemies! Parthans? Scythians? You name it! We siege. We are sieged. We sacrifice people to stone gods. (Oh my.. spoilers?!)

[Dsarker]

A tree sounds nice, as long as it has good stats.

But seriously, a general if you wouldn't mind.

[Digital Hellhound]

Can I have the lonely (adult) fellow on the far right in the family tree?

[Stworca]

Hell yeah!

[justinlee999]

I'll take a male child slot as soon as one is available for me .

[Simmura McCrea]

I'll take a Spy.

[EmperorNuthulu]

I imagine it's quite hard for me to do diplomacy with a veil over my face XD.

[Stworca]

I imagine it's quite hard for me to do diplomacy with a veil over my face XD.

Yeah, cause of you a war will break out. (SPOILERS??!!?!?!)