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[Icee77]

Wish Ezekiel will grow up, and die with a stone to the head. Also, why not send your faction leader against a army of all peasants? Let his death be IRONIC!

[Sheb]

I don't really see the difference ebtween "Leading an army in the desert", and "Having all the prostitutes and sand he want.".

We should go and eat the Egyptian's walls. Walls out of stone? FOOL!

[Stworca]

A more important poll has been added.

Aiding Egypt leads to swift benefits, but in the long run will make us fight a super-Egypt.
Aiding Seleucid is what i would do. Our line will be stretched greatly if Seleucid decide to attack us, but it's a risk worth taking.
Not participating can bite us in the balls later on. It's better to control a conflict in your backyard.

Make no mistake, regardless of which path we take we WILL eventually fight both. Egypt is the stronger one at the moment. If left alone they will roll over Seleucid.
We will roll over Pontus quite fast (our maneuvering is superior and complex.), but every turn is priceless until we rise up some more.


Quened for Generals / Children : Justinlee (your name shall be changed)
JacenHan.. (definitely changed)

[Shadowgandor]

We should either go against Egypt to even the odds or continue against Pontus ^^

[Dsarker]

Go against Egypt, but only do it by aiding Seleucid, at least until you have beaten up Pontus.

[Hyo]

I say Pontus, then take upon Egypt; lest they've more or less overrun the Selucids. It might be better to just try to take your share of the spoils then.

[Stworca]

Well the Susa army is close to Egypt, not Pontus. Susa is a stronghold that in a few turns will survive nuclear blasts (much like Antioch, Sparta and in future Kotais)
We can roflstomp Pontus without them (SPOILERS?!?!?!) so i'd rather have them do something. There are a few rebel towns still untaken south (We were very quick with Partha) but taking them will eventually provoke war with both Seleu and Egypt. So i'd rather pick one asap.

The screenshots for next update are already made. It's peaceful. Pontus has giant army stacks, but i think i know what i'm doing. We have "lost" one fight so far. When our skirmisher bait at Susa retreated from combat (i don't like having this "1" next to Loses..)

I'm quite confident that in a turn or two (figuratively speaking) we'll be able to hold the 10 full Egyptian stacks (SPOILERS?!??! Yes.)

[EmperorNuthulu]

..... Did you know you're good at this game? Also, do you plan on getting the mock legionnaires and heavy spearmen, or largely go for cavalry armies?

[Stworca]

..... Do you plan on getting the mock legionnaires and heavy spearmen, or largely go for cavalry armies?

In the far away future, i will use the legionaries, skirmisher and phalanx in armies with onagers. We will need onagers on the damn epic walls that the west will soon have (using towers, rams and tunnels? Hundreds of casualties before you even get to the city), and i don't want my cavalry to be slowed down. I like using different tactics and reducing the amount of weaknesses to minimum.

That is.. IF we succeed in the east. Once Pontus falls it will not be an easy game anymore. I can't afford building more than two troops a round at the moment.. we are dirt poor. I put all the gold into markets, roads, trade routes etc. and i keep selling maps to everyone who wants to buy them.

Also : If we loose one of our "armies", and Seleucid either collapse against Egypt or focus on us, we'll be waist deep in horse manure. For the next XXX we CANNOT lose, and neither Seleucid nor Egypt can gain an upper hand in their war.
Seleu-Pontus or Greek-Pontus alliance would mean pain too.

Also Bruti and Scipiii.. If they advance too quickly through Greece, Carthage and Numidia, we'll have to pull one miracle after another out of our.. miracle box.

In short, playing Armenia is having an open HFS on embark in a vile, zombie-carp filled zone... and only murky water pools.

..But Stone gods are with us.. and we have trained the first Dwarf-worthy unit..


22 Defense, a slight charge bonus, good morale and "long range missiles". They cost our entire income and take 2 turns to train though.. hmm

Last, but not least..
Vote, Armenians! It will close soon, and at this moment it's nearly tied!

[EmperorNuthulu]

Hmm, just throwing this out there now. Thrace is generally a weak faction that borders Turkey, and if you can take there, then with enough luck you might be able to stop the Brutii from becoming powerful. Not to mention you'll have a huge area to conquer if you choose to. For now though I would recommend undermining the crap out of Egypt, use spies, start wars against them and what not. The Seleucids will get crushed rather easily if the Egyptians fight them, although they'll most likely betray you.

[Stworca]

If our viewers will vote not to fight with Egypt before Pontus is out, then i will not fight with Egypt until Pontus is out.
Vote.
Vote.
Vote???
Vote!

Everything is winnable, some things just require more turns (and some MUCH more turns)

[EmperorNuthulu]

You don't need to fight them to weaken them, you can have other factions declare war on them, infiltrate with spies or bribe them. None of these things will cause a war. I mean, Pontus never gets that powerful early on.

[Stworca]

I appreciate the advice, but for now i know what i'm doing
Next update once i re-install windows on my laptop (and get clear vote results)

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Build Up (click to show/hide)

(turn number 10)



- A crushing victory, sir!
Yes, our forces did well.
- What shall be done with..
They shall be united with the Stone.


- The city is burning.. does that mean..?
Yes.
Armenians : BARBECUE PARTY!


Parthans! I have wonderful news for you.. Ones that haven't been slaughtered in order to fuel our barbecue grills.
A Parthan : Why didn't you use wood!?
I.. don't understand the question..?
- Sir, the news.
Ah yes.. We're going to let you, Parthans, join our Stone Temples, where you will learn to think, fight and live like Armenians!
Random Parthan : YaY! I Can't wait to be creative and smart!
That's the spirit! Of course you'll be allowed to only join infantry...
Parthans : NOOOOO!
Beats being burned, doesn't it?
Armenian Infantry Member 1 : And working at a post office.

Kaguro : Them mercenaries be expensive, be needing more gold.
- What's wrong with Kaguro, sir?
We don't talk about Kaguro...
- Oh.. right..
These mercenaries aren't that bad.. But where are we supposed to get more gold? We've spent everything on the BBQ!


- Nuthulu is willing to try and sell Scythians more of our maps!
He is..? But.. What? Are Scythians really this stupid? We're at WAR after all..


..Wait a minute.. He sold the ACTUAL maps of our lands and cities!
- STONE DAMN YOU, NUTHULU.
Exile him further to the west.

Kaguro : Pontus! Here i be!
Stone damn it.. Hound, can you take lead of the forces in Pontus instead of this retard?
Hound : Woof.
.....Nevermind.


Pontus Army : What is this?
Oh, we're just sightseeing. Your lands are beautiful, and sand plentiful.
Pontus Army : Do you take us for fools!?!?
Hound : Woof.
Pontus Army : Oh, all right.
..Did that just happen..?


Rainbow, advance from the south, head for Mazaka.
Rainbow : Aye, sir.
Phew.. I feared that he too might be a retard.


- Don't you fear that Egyptians and Seleucid will take Susa and advance into Armenian lands while we conquer Pontus?
Random Pontic Diplomat : What was that?
..With our glorious Armenian cooking recipes!
Random Pontian Diplomat : Oh. Can i try some?
Naturally. Cook, give our guest some Sandy Balls.
Random Pontusian Diplomat : You mean balls made of sand? I love them!
No, balls COVERED in sand! TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON!
Random Ponto Diplomat : NOOO! My dad used to do the same!
- ..About the Egyptians..?
No army shall ever take Susa from us. We're preparing a surprise for them.


- Praise be to stone.

Spoiler: Sandy Balls (click to show/hide)

- Sir, our spies report that Egyptians advance towards Antioch. The Seleucid are numerous, but do not seem to notice an army sieging one of their major cities.
How come Armenia didn't conquer the entire world by now..? With enemies like that one doesn't even need to try..


That does it. Have our forces advance south-west of Susa. There are some barbarian cities up for grabs.
- Won't Egyptians strike us sooner if we take the city..?
Why would they want a useless city in the middle of a hostile desert..?


Rainbow : Supreme leader, i shall advance further west, past Mazaka.
Good, gather some mercenaries and strike western Pontic cities to draw their army's attention!
Rainbow : Aye! Supreme leader!


Hound : Woof. Woof? Bark Woof *drool*
Can someone put him out of his misery?
Hound : Woof.
Why.. this is a great idea! Retreat to the river till Pontus army retreats to follow Rainbow!



What is going on here!?
Lady Teresa Nutsdeep : WE'VE BUILT A BOAT! ARMENIA SHALL CONQUER SEAS TOO!
Can we exile her too?
- Sir, She's the queen of Armenia..


- Rainbow is about to strike Ancyra, let us watch the glorious battle!



How about this.. Can we send her on a one way trip to hostile, far away countries?
- I don't think this would work.. sir.
Stone damn it.. I'll find a way!
- Why should you, sir? She's like a hundred years old.. She'll die soon anyway..
...
- ...
...Of course! An educational trip to hostile, far away countries! Oh.. oh damn..
- What is it?
We've missed the fight. It must have been glorious!

Spoiler: Balls Deep (click to show/hide)

Our forces siege the pathetic city of Sinope! ALL THEIR SANDY BEACHES SHALL BE OURS!
- Sir! Leibovitz reports, that the Pontic army is pulling back to Sinope!


...Leibovitz..? Are these people drunk when they name their children..?
- Sir..?
What happened with the NORMAL names?! Like Ronny Rection? Steve Schlong? Salmonella Fitzgerald!?
- Sir! We need your brilliance!
Oh, you're making me blush.. Have Rainbow and his useless mercenaries advance further to Nicomedia. The war with Greeks has bled Pontus dry!


- Siege weapons are ready at Sinope, should we invade?
No. The Pontus army is far away. We're going to starve the city, unless the army closes in to break the siege.
- This way we spare Armenian lives!
What...? No.. Their cities are made of WOOD! We have to burn them down before we can live there. That's how Armenian civilization started.


- Dumatha has been taken by our forces! The pathetic rebels surrendered!


The Pontic Army is nowhere to be found, and their cities are running out of food. Once Sinope and Nicomedia give in, we'll advance to Mazaka and finish the Pontus off.


WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE! Pontic armies are engaged with Greeks, and we sack their cities! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA
- HAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHA.. oh... i must be sobering up.. The world starts sucking again.



..balls..

[Jacob/Lee]

I loved the part where the mercenaries killed nobody but lost 49 people.