Hey! I've added where you all are on the alignment spectrum! Also, regarding the obvious Mary-Sueosity of Dinosaurus Rex's character... SERIOUSLY! I mean, a female pyromaniac ninja demon cannibal wizard? Gods... I really should have banned that abomination...
AVENGE SAM. GO POINTED OBJECT WITH SIMPLE NAME.
You draw Sword and go over to the monster on the ground. You say, "This is for SAM. This is for Fred. This. Is. For. My. ARMS!" (5+1) (dodge:6-1) He moves out of the way, but you still hit him in the (BP:2) chest with Sword. (damage:4+1-1+1) You stab through his exoskeleton and into his heart. He looks up at you, and grins. "Yyyyyou donnnnn't knnnnnowwwww wwwwwhat yyyyyou'vvvvve jussssst donnnnne... Yyyyyou'vvvvve killllled evvvvverrrrryyyyyonnnnne..." Then he expires before you can do any more. A rush of green energy flows from his body to the stone, which begins to glow again.
"Yeah, just snap your fingers and disappear like that, see if I care," Axolisin said. "Don't answer any of my damn questions, not like it'd be the first time that happened." He took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders. "All right, let's get our shoppin' done and get moving. We probably ain't got a lot of time now." He went back inside to find some healing potions. After paying for those he would head towards the Underdome; with his luck he was sure he'd have to endure some sort of arena battle before he could get to the stone. I bet the damn paladin just waltzed right up to his frickin' stone and activated it. The golem too. Hell, I'm pretty sure Big Jo's already activated his since he's here and all. Well, I'm not gonna be dead last behind the alchemist, that's for damn sure.
Good riddance. He was no good. You go inside and search for some healing potions. (2) They're all out. Apparently there was a big fire last week, and people needed lots of them. (4) You do find a grappling hook for sale for 50 gp, (6) several sets of daggers and other weapons, of all price ranges (including one that appears to be enchanted with a boomerang spell), (4) and some leather armor for 70 gp. Nothing too fantastic.
Flip the bird at the stupid green fucker and see what weapons are in the store.
You flip the bird at the only stupid green fucker in here. You hurt your feelings. Poor, poor you. You go back to the store to look for weapons. (2) They're out of piratey weapons, too... No rapiers, no cutlasses, no boarding axes... This sucks. (3) They have a little rum, but it's really expensive. (6) Ooooooh... Shiiinnyyyyy... There's a prosthetic arm. It has a hook setting. And a hand setting. And a battleaxe setting. MUST HAVE... (1) And they have no clothes suitable for male pirates. Bummer. There is a sexy pirate uniform of shielding, but it's definitely meant for females. EXTREMELY females. Damn porn ghosts.
Look at you, saving everything. Effortlessly defeating evil liches. Ignoring mazes. Leaving liches alive to terrorize others later. Filling your pockets with stolen gold.
"If I was a bored, evil, and depraved bardic lich, I'd put cursed fake treasure containers near the planar balance stone and hide the real treasure behind a wall somewhere, then capture whichever hero was sent to touch the stone to fix everything ... And stop sulking already, it's getting annoying."
Ignore the obvious traps and touch the stone. Try to land on Ax if, for some strange reason, I get teleported to my companions upon touching it. Seems like the sort of thing that Hooded Man would do.
Time to touch that godsdamned stone. You press your palm to the imprint, and hear a dark voice in your mind. "
Thank you, young confused mortal. Death is grateful for your intervention. He will bring you to your friends... Hold still mortal, while he takes you." A hole of pure black opens up beneath you, and you fall through. After floating through a chilly hall of hourglasses, and through a study with a "World's Best Granddad" mug, you are floating over a store. You see the tiefling there. "
Thank you mortal. Death will" The voice starts coughing, and when it starts talking again, it sounds like an eighty-year-old man. "Bugger... Hate that voice... Oh, yeah, Death says thanks. He's a little busy with a plague somewhere." You hear a deep voice from the shadowy tunnel behind you. "ALBERT? I NEED SOME HELP WITH THESE SOULS." The voice (Albert?) groans. "Coming. Now go see your bloody friend. Have fun saving the world or whatever." You fall onto the ground in front of the surprised Tiefling. (2 vs 1) Nirur finally takes control of the body, and senses an insane amount of evil penetrating the fabric of this plane.
Offer mah robo-brutha a job. After all, if he's here to protect the stone, then he's not really relevant any more since I'm about to activate it, AND he's pretty heavily disabled. Then, locate these d00ds... err, are they who I think they are?
"Possibly Chaotic interlopers. Or Lawful, but bad logic made them work for Chaos. Aid?" (5+1) "
Aid granted. We are PH-47/L3-W7. You may call us PH. Or 'Phat Lewt' if you transliterate the numerical signs into the letters they most closely resemble." Cool. You got a robo-bro. Now it's time to look for the other heroes... You first take the helm and land on the mountain. (1+1) Or try to. You crash lightly, (damage:4-1) scratching the bottom of the house. Which is actually the basement. Or, you know, where the basement used to be before you
stole this guy's house. You get out and walk to the summit with Phat Lewt and the twins, leaving Iali to guard the house. There's a ladder descending into darkness.
MEDIC!!!
You ask the priest dude for some healing. He looks at you, says, "Alright..." and waves his hands at you. (2) And fails. (luck:6) Luckily, he doesn't do anything bad. The extra magic sputters away harmlessly. He takes you to a temple. "Here, young dwarf, is the sanctuary to
Our Lord Rnasthoth, Dmeon Lord of Incompetence. We will give you
His powers, to spread
His message." He leads you to the altar, and starts waving an incense stick around you and chanting. (1) He burns his hand on the stick, and drops it into a pile of scrolls, setting a small fire. The extra
incompetence surrounding you is enough for a presence to push through and into your body. Now, you are an avatar of
Rnasthoth, demon of
incompetence! This gives you the power of total incompetence. For any roll anyone around you (friend or foe) makes, I roll twice and then average the two rolls, rounding up. Then I apply any modifiers. So. That's cool. Yup.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-Read,
flightMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
SwordSpells:
Spined Hands,
Firebolt,
Thriller,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Magic Ring,
Black Leather Armor,
Deadly Poison,
Self-propelled throwing discs, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility, 150 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops),
Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Armor PlatingHealth: Fine
This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy Pilot, One-armed Man
Inventory:
Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants,
Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball, 160 gp
Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane
Abilities:
Dwarven Smith,
Drink and Industry,
Earth Plane Denizen,
Avatar of RnasthothInventory:
-Copper Pick / Axe-, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
Schilcote's Robobro.
Abilities: Unknown.
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof, Grav Cannon
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons, Big Light
Special:
Shield Projector,
Air Generator,
Energy Generator,
Unbreakable drill, Mapquest Generator,
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √ √
Mechanus √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √
Author
Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun. (Read 89459 times)